Don't Open Till Christmas
What would a Cinema Snob Christmas be like without a bunch of dead Santas?
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The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Pushing Up Roses
Cinemassacre
The Geek Den
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: Don't Open Till Christmas
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Great review as always, Snob! It's good to know that someone out there still has the holiday spirit. Ya know, Lionsgate just released a "Silent Night, Deadly Night" 3-movie pack on DVD. It includes sequels 3,4,and 5. Might I suggest that you take a shot at one of those next? Personally, my favorite Christmas movie would have to be "Christmas Evil" (1980). It's really more of a black comedy than a slasher film. What's your favorite?
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dont ya just love bad movies?
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how many other shitty x-mas horror movies have you seen?
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Yay, a new Snob video!
Speaking is shitty slasher movies, the Cinema Snob really needs to do a number on HOUSEBOAT HORROR, an Australian shot-on-shitteo slasher craptasterpiece from the eighties.
It's something to behold. And you can watch it on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8NzZsX-twA
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hey Brad you need to review a movie called Samurai Cop.the best way to describe it is imagine if Fred Olen Ray had directed Lethal Weapon.
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You can watch Samurai Cop on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3spFk-YiHWg You wish Fred Olen Ray driected Samurai Cop
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Great Christmas episode! Ripped apart a bad, sleazy, slasher film very nicely. Especially liked the part where he said he would like to see penises get slashed in Antichrist XD.
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it's good to see you do a shitty Xmas movie review i love don't open till Xmas and pieces is one of my fav horror movie but still thronging out there Dominic dolls vs puppet master all i have to say is Corry Feldman and pinhead
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I was expecting Elves, great review!
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Pieces: now there's a movie
I wonder what caused the guy to walk off the set? Maybe there was a love triangle between him, a p.a., and Roman Atkinson.
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Thanks for ruining "Pieces" for me...
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I actually watched this movie a few weeks ago on my 50 DVD horror collection. You pretty much summed up my complaints about it perfectly. I especially love the one-stab kills the murderer makes. Its just "Stab. I'm dead. Fall."
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Yay a British movie, NOOO it's crap. Well at least we have a funky 80s song. Oh and I think you chuckled a little when you made the Antichrist reference, maybe because of your opinion of the movie in your previous review.
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Santa Claustration! YAAAY!!! And whats this? Flame broiled facials which explode into flaming extremes of exaggeration! Verily i must hunt down this work of madness and watch it over and over and...
Thank you Mister Brad Jones for another gut busting review. Now to clean up this bloody mess. Its worse then hemmorhoids but less painful.
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I actually WANT to see this! It looks so hilariously horrible that I must see this disaster! Merry X-mas Brad!
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The antichrist comment had me laughing out loud.
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Silent Night Deadly Night 1 is actually a competently made slasher in my opinion. I pair it every Christmas Eve with Christmas Evil, which stars Fiona Apples dad and has an early appearance by the Home Improvement mom. Goodtimes.
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Hey Brad you should do a double review of "Black Christmas" and the shitty remake they did of that a few years ago.
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Dude this film IS Christmas in the UK. I see more horrific things from the Chavs at the local pub. And my Christmas present for you? BOLLOCKS! (from a genuine Englishman)
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Ha ha Wonderful as usual.
But weren't you gonna feature that fanart I sentcha in this episode?
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Hey! I will when my next video isn't holiday themed. I want it to be in there with the main theme song.
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Sounds good, lemme know if ya need a bigger resolution picture for that, the original one I have is 2070 X 2132 pixels high.
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Excellent work! Love the Antichirst dg in there at the end.
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Glad you clarified the time in which it was made. From what little I had seen previously, I figured it was some 1970s film that sat around unreleased until the whole Silent Night, Deadly Night controversy. Maybe the 1980s did not come to the UK until later in the decade.
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You know it's gonna' be a great review when the first 15 seconds (you unwrapping the bad movie) has me busting a gut!
Merry Christmas, Brad!!!
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I will stick to i spit on your grave for castration, thank you.
good review. never seen it!
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You know if you take all the Santa-killing out, you'd have an awesome movie.
Sleaze + Strippers dressed as Santa = Awesome.
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I've watched all of your reviews, you have me laughing during each one. keep up the good work. also, one of the worst horror films of recent time in my opinion is prom night, that'd be funny if you did a review on that. haha
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I actually own this film on DVD. I wathced it last Christmas time, but I can't remember anything about it...
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Wow what a treat! I don't even have to close my eyes to imagine that this movie's classy and British!
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The most amazing intro ever.
Its as if you parodied every angry game and movie reviewer video that is done during christmas where they get some horrible movie and they make it this tramatic experience.
You opted out and threw it in the watchers face saying blatantly "Oh dur Its a bad movie"
If I could vote higher than Liked I would. AMAZING!
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My favorite evil Santa movie is "Santa's Slay."
I haven't seen this movie, but from your review it seems really talk-y, the kind of talking that doesn't make much sense when it would have been better to show don't tell. I hate that in these types of movies. If you are going to make a movie about a crazy dude killing Santa Claus's, then make a movie about a crazy dude killing Santa Claus's. I don't want to watch some dullard give backstory.
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Brad Heres a last minute Xmas film for you. Santa's Slay. I caught it on demand for free. Funny as fuck ! Seriously any film that kills Chris Kattan, James Cann, Fran Dresher, and Rebecca Gayheart within the first 5 minutes has to be given a cinema snob run through. Seriously its a classic case of "it's so bad....It's so fucking good !
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As a Brit, this movie always has a special place in my heart (probably because we still can't legally watch Silent Night, Deadly Night).
It is certainly one of the sleaziest films our island every produced and for that matter alone it's essential viewing this time of year.
Factoid: the photographer was played by Kevin lloyd who went on to achieve national stardom on Tv before drinking himself to death. Nice work, fella!
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I really Like the Santa Clausestration, joke and the "i'll stick to antichrist" reference.
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I don't know. I've seen this movie: it's bad, but I'm not sure it is as bad as Christmas Evil. I remember the uproar over "Silent Night, Deadly Night" when I was a kid. Years later, after seeing a few Santa slashers, I never understood the sole attention to that movie. "Christmas Evil" definitely took the same approach and had decent exposure through the drive-ins. I'm guessing all the fuss was because the latter was released during X-Mas, whereas Christmas Evil kept popping up in the dinge theaters through the early 80s. It also happens to be the worst of the too, and I would say it's worse than the film in this review.
On a melancholy note: Dan O'Bannon, writer of "Aliens" and director of "Return of the Living Dead" passed away today. He will be missed.
Most people forget his brilliant screenplay for the remake of "Invaders From Mars." Too bad, that movie is all sorts of coolness.
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The way they talk about the missing character reminds me of this Strong Bad email:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail177.html
Sucks when your "serious" acting is identical to comedy.
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Yes ANTICHRIST was a much better feel-good X-Mas movie!
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NOOOOOOO!!!! You did it again! You fucking did it again! First Troll 2, now this movie! I was gonna review this movie for christmas! NOOO!!!!!!
Oh well. Good review... bastard!
i still want you to check out my review site some time at www.youtube.com/derek105huey and get ur opinions on em.
anyway... fuck, now i gotta come up with another chritmas review.
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For anyone wondering(I was!), the Caroline Munro song is "Warrior Of Love", and a horrible, phasey rip is available here:
http://www.grossmont.edu/karl.sherlock/NumaRecords/MunroC/CarolineMunroMusic/MunroWarriorOfLove.mp3
As far as I can tell it was not released outside of this movie. A shame!
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Yeah, The Crystals!
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Hilarious review. I've never seen this one but yeah, it looks ridiculous. But Caroline Munro...damn she's a hot lady. I might check this out to see the full extent of its horribleness.
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I was reading a Christmas triva book and they had this film in there. It sounded like a good movie, so I checked it out to see if it was on dvd. The price is still up, even for a used copy. However, its well worth the price you pay for the film. The story is simple and I liked the flow of the film, and there is plenty of good kills. I'd check it out but here are a few flaws I noticed with the film
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Usually when they have a project where the main star quits or the film runs out of money and is restarted later, either the main star's scenes are replaced (as with Jagger and Robarts in "Fitzcarraldo") or they tack on narration to explain what is going on. Only trick with narration is that it's a dead giveaway of a paste job if half the cast changes midway through the movie. They would have been better off not finishing the film in this case...BTW there's a doctor character in "Don't Open `Till Christmas" that is reffered to but never shown; they filmed the guy but they cut him completely out of the movie!
Also, as far as I can tell the Seventies hung around in parts of Britain until 1985.
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"Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" is my Xmas movie!
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I think it shows some great synergy amongst fresh talent in a field where it is hard to find a niche and be truly original. That's the nature of the internet and instant media though. I digress, I enjoy your reviews because you touch on exploitation and horror, which is what I watch almost exclusively. I was wondering if you have watched the August Underground series, and if you have, what's your thoughts were on them.
I always heard this was never actually a bad movie, it looks near-surreal atually because of how stupid it is. At least it has trolls in it.
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Makes me think of the movie "The Demon."
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Oh GOD, The Demon, I remember that one!! With Cameron Mitchell, right? I'm going to go out on a limb and say The Demon is actually worse than Don't Open 'Till Christmas; at least the killer in this had a motivation for killing Santas. Jumbled, and poorly edited, but at least it was out there. I did like the pseudo Last House on Dead End Street mask, too. Brad, please do The Demon starring Cameron Mitchell!
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The cinema snob" to star in remake of "Manos the hands of fate"
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Just so you know, I definitely made that suit joke 2 years before you did. http://fight-evil.com/reviews/selector.php?id=127253
On a more serious level, watching you review something I've done shows me why you're the snob, and gives me some ideas as to what I can do to improve my own reviews.
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i think There’s something deliciously ironic about the self referential nature of the story and the characters attitudes toward the holiday. It seems to me that they would hate Christmas themed stories............................
http://www.i-entertainment.org
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Hey! When should I start counting down till Christmas? Is now too early?
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AAAAGH!
Please don't remind me of Anti-Christ, I'd just about gotten the images locked away in the back of my mind never to be viewed again >_<
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I have a Christmas movie tradition that some might find weird, every Christmas, I watch The Nightmare Before Christmas, it's a great movie, the score is fantastic and so are the songs. I know it's a very weird movie, but I love it, I have since I was a little kid
Okay, it's a recent movie tradition, I didn't get the movie on DVD until recently, and since before that,all I had was a VHS tape of it I got as a Christmas present back in 1994, and I didn't want to take out our old VCR and hook it back up, so I waited until it came back out on DVD......
But still, it's now a Christmas movie tradition, okay, it's also a movie I watch around Halloween too.....it works both ways, since Halloween is also a major part of the movie, another Christmas movie tradition I have is Christmas Vacation and Gremlins, both are set at Christmas, so it works out well, and the mix of Nightmare and Gremlins make a dark Christmas for me
Have to say though, this movie looks terrible.....
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good
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I have since I was a little kid
Okay, it's a recent movie tradition, I didn't get the movie on DVD until recently
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