I can also be emailed at my site email address thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Welcome to the new home of The Cinema Snob. Previously featured on YouTube before ultimately being ousted by the powers that be (those powers being the people behind "Nail Gun Massacre")
thecinemasnob.com will feature all of the Snob's videos, old and new, and also brand new shows and full length original movies for those of us who already can't get enough of Z-Grade Cinema.
1/4/2010 11:40 PM
Rockabilly Dolphilnman wrote:
I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT! Haven't seen the video yet, BUT I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT! IN YOUR FACE EVERYONE ELSE! HAH! Reply to this
1/4/2010 11:54 PM
Flo wrote:
Jesus, I'm german and let me tell you those subtitles are censored as hell, when hes walking towards the bath tub he says Im from a distant planet i came here to touch your tits to see how they feel
1/4/2010 11:55 PM
Gary Bowden wrote:
Another great review! I sat there in disbelief as I was watching this piece of crap,but you tore it apart which it deserves! Thank you! Reply to this
1/5/2010 12:13 AM
Severe wrote:
Brutal. That costume looked like a pile of rancid, gelatinous feces. What a disturbing film, ha, kudos for getting through it. Reply to this
1/5/2010 12:24 AM
torsoboy wrote:
You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic. Reply to this
1/5/2010 12:29 AM
Shadowdancer21b wrote:
I feel sorry for the actress who played E.T. That had to be a very claustrophobia-inducing experience. Not to mention heat discomfort. Congrats on sitting through it Brad. Reply to this
1/5/2010 12:54 AM
Obscurus Lupa wrote:
That was hilarious. I cannot believe how gross that alien looked. Anyone turned on yet? Reply to this
1/5/2010 2:11 AM
Tam Lin wrote:
Well, maybe this movie is a good tool for promoting abstinence. Just the thought of it might be enough to put me off sex for a solid month. Reply to this
1/5/2010 2:15 AM
Damian wrote:
It's like a David Cronenberg movie made by the people who made "Crazy Fat Ethel 2" Reply to this
1/5/2010 2:46 AM
CrimsonDusk wrote:
Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started. Reply to this
1/5/2010 3:35 AMAbismo Nuclear wrote:
LOL! I have not watched Boondock Saints 2, now i want to watch it. Retarded Death Wish 3, LOL!.. which is by the way, a classic (for me personally)
1/5/2010 3:58 AM
Ghostpilot wrote:
I don't know how I ever managed to see portions of this...thing, but it all came flooding back to me like an episode of post-traumatic stress.
If I ever wondered what it a porno with a still-crispy burn victim would be like, this move about answered it.
Goddamn, I hope this doesn't come up in my dreams tonight. Reply to this
1/5/2010 3:59 AM
Ghostpilot wrote:
Oh, and that parody title of "Dr. Strangelove" was a stroke of genius!
1/5/2010 5:41 AMAlexander wrote:
Jesus Christ Snob, were do ya find this shit? If I hadn't seen your review I would've refused to believe it existed. Reply to this
1/5/2010 6:27 AM
Jon M.H. wrote:
This is the most horrifying thing I've seen since your Black Devil Doll and Quadead Zone reviews. I'm... oh god...
I need to watch something else. I NEED TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE NOW!!! Your review was great, the... the "film" itself, chills me to the bone. Oh god. Reply to this
1/5/2010 9:10 AM
FlareShard wrote:
Haha, oh wow, this movie is just embarrassingly bad XD I'm from Germany, and lemme tell you: These subtitles make abso-forking-lutely no sense - most of them don't even match the German (Austrian?) dialogue, it's more likely that they just made some crap up, I guess.
Anywho, seems like Rule 34 can REALLY apply to anything. My condolences. Reply to this
1/5/2010 7:23 PM
Strelnikov wrote:
I think the English subtitles are a translation of the Portugese subtitles the movie "originally" had, which means that whomever originally subbed this movie either was a prude or lied about speaking German fluently. Reply to this
1/5/2010 10:10 AMJamie wrote:
Ugh. The alien looked more like the things from Mac and Me which just made everything even more harsh and disturbing. Reply to this
1/5/2010 12:14 PM
Dr.Klahn wrote:
You've just inspired me! You think I can get Burger King and Coca Cola to sponsor my production of "Mac in Me"? Reply to this
1/6/2010 4:24 AM
SeanR wrote:
Sir, you deserve the Presidential Medal of Honor for the "Mac in Me" joke. Nicely played! Reply to this
1/5/2010 10:54 AMJ.R. Uwing wrote:
wow... thats kinda fucking gross in a black devil doll from hellish way. jeez, and i am from germany, but i never wanted to see e.t. fucking, let alone e.t. BEING fucked! that's sick! o my god... Reply to this
1/5/2010 11:15 AM
Nesfan1111 wrote:
That alien looks like a cross between the Atari ET, Badi (Turkish ET), and if Max Renn shot the alien with a gun to cause tumors to pop out. In other words, it's the ugliest alien I've ever seen.
You're better off watching Cheech and Chong Still Smokin' for ET sex jokes than this. Reply to this
1/5/2010 11:21 AM
David Fullam wrote:
Oh...my...God. And I thought the original ET was the drizzling shits. Couldn't they at least have had the female ET take on a human form for the sex scenes? Reply to this
1/5/2010 1:21 PMKevenz wrote:
Ah man.... I've seen the scene where they are fucking a couple of years ago.... that was just gross as hell... I can't really think of any porn movie that disturbed me more than this. Reply to this
1/5/2010 4:38 PMName Withheld wrote:
No offense, M. Snob, but I felt this review was incomplete. I will need to do some research before I set my final opinion. Reply to this
1/5/2010 6:02 PM
CrimsonDusk wrote:
Congratulations man on joining That Guy With The Glasses, but I thought you didn't join them because you wanted to do your own thing. Still I think you will get allot more exposure that way and who knows what future opportunities are opened for you by joining them.
Again great to hear the wonderful news. Reply to this
1/5/2010 6:11 PM
CrimsonDusk wrote:
Oh and I hope you don't mind the puerile comments you'll get on your videos from some viewers of TGWGT. Just saying that there are allot of 2 year old that can't spell and don't tolerate other peoples work or opinions and immediately go into nerd rages. But I know you don't mind any kind of comments. Congratulations and I hope the E.T. The Porno review is more bearable to be seen the second time. Reply to this
1/5/2010 6:11 PM
Rockabilly Dolphinman wrote:
Ok everyone, it's time to make up some porn-parody titles of our own. I'll start.
Bound For Gloryhole (Bound For Glory, 1976)
Little Miss Cunshine (Little Miss Sunshine, 2006)
Electra Glide In Pink; A.K.A Electra Glide In Very Blue (Electra Glide In Blue, 1977)
Cherry Poppins (Mary Poppins, 1964)
Bride Of Fucky (Bride OF Chucky, 1998)
Starfucked (Starstruck, 1982)
Cockwork Whorange (Clockwork Orange, 1971)
My Fair Laid-y (My Fair Lady, 1964)
Buttman And Throbbin' (Batman And Robin, 1997)
Queefer Madness (Reefer Madness, 1936)
Gay titles:
Zach And Zach Make A Porno (Zach And Miri Make A Porno, 2007)
Furit Juice
Ressrectum (gay zombie movie)
The Curious Case Of Benjamin's Butthole Reply to this
1/17/2010 4:12 PM
Cocacola4blood wrote:
Ressrectum, Furit Juice, Zach And Zach Make A Porno, Laid-y, Cunshine and Electra pink/very Blue are the only titles that aren't splayed all over the net. Clockwork Whorange only has one entry, but it's photos of a woman dressed as Alex DeLarge for Halloween. Everything else has already been used.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin's Butthole is on youtube somewhere.
Yes, I actually took the time to google all this... Reply to this
1/17/2010 4:15 PM
Cocacola4blood wrote:
You MAY vomit? I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips! Reply to this
1/5/2010 9:44 PM
Rockabilly Dolphilnman wrote:
One more gay title; 'The Adventures Of Butt Rogers In The 69th Century.'
Doesn't anyone else have any?
So Brad, did the performers have their eyes closed during the sex-scenes? That would be the only way to explain how they are able to maintain an erection. Reply to this
Truly this is not of this earth. The horror..the horror..
Thank you Cinema Snob for saving a future moment of lust. Reply to this
1/6/2010 4:04 AM
RussianWhore wrote:
Mmmm, German porn is the best kind of porn in my book....EXCEPT WHEN THERE'S A WOMAN IN A NASTY ALIEN SUIT INVOLVED!
1/7/2010 10:39 AM
Kathrin wrote:
These subtitles are so wrong. At one point the sewer monster says that sex on its planet lasts about one minute, so it knows what sex is. But the subtitles say that it has no idea what they´re doing. Well, besides that, THIS IS SO HORRIBLE! When you mentioned watching alien porn I thought of porn with, well, aliens, but I would never have imagined something like THAT! Also, congrats to joining TGWTG! Reply to this
1/7/2010 10:48 AM
Chirurg wrote:
Hell yeah, you finaly joined TGWTG! I saw the ET porno back in the day, and i am still scrubing my eyes! Reply to this
1/7/2010 4:16 PM
darkdriver wrote:
And I thought "Eat Me: the Sextraterrestrial" was just a gag from Meatballs 4 (which isn't a porn movie, just one of those tits-hang-out summer "teen" movies). I was young and didn't know better. Don't pick on me. Anyway, horrid movie (that made my stomach woozy), great review (love the boot scene), and congrats on being picked up by tgwtg! Now youtube is officially irrelevant! Reply to this
1/8/2010 2:11 AMJames Bickert wrote:
I actually had a neighbor call the cops on me and some buddies for projecting this film in the yard on a 18 foot screen. We were drunk and laughing pretty loud, the cop thought it was hilarious and told us just to keep the noise down. Reply to this
1/8/2010 2:28 PM
Graham wrote:
I can't believe there's actually someone else who has seen "The Geek." I could not figure out what the hell the point of that short was. This must mean you have the "Godmonster of Indian Flats" DVD... or did you get your hands on it another way? Reply to this
1/8/2010 5:22 PM
David Fullam wrote:
Something Weird offers the full version of The Geek separately from the Godmonster disc. Probably on DVD R by now. Reply to this
1/9/2010 6:18 AM
Rockabilly Dolphinman wrote:
More fake (I think) porn titles...
The Licker Man (The Wicker Man, 1973)
Lone Wolf And Cum (Lone Wolf And Cub series, 1972-'74)
That's InHertainment (That's Entertainment, 1974)
The Sperminator (The Terminator, 1984)
When The West Was Wet (Starring John Wang and Clit Eastwood)
Meat The Parents (Meet The Parents, 1992 original or 2000 remake)
1/9/2010 10:40 PM
Wolfie wrote:
The director must have thought there would be a demand for this kind of thing and the fact that there could be any demand for it would mean there's actually someone who got a hard on while watching regular E.T Reply to this
1/10/2010 3:08 AM
Rockabilly Dolphinman wrote:
There's a full length version of 'The Geek?' Almost the entire movie is made up of footage of people walking through the woods!
Maybe they should call it 'Gerry: The Porno." Reply to this
1/10/2010 7:17 AM
David Fullam wrote:
Something Weird offers The Geek on double feature disc with a film called Sin in 69. According to the catalog write up, the guys make it with the girls before going in search of the Geek, and the Geek rapes the second girl (the one we see on the ground with no explanation in the cut version) before the big fight at the end. Reply to this
1/15/2010 11:49 AM
doc wrote:
Hi, awesome Review, managed to pull my shitty mood up (i've been fired today) again. Just wanted to point out (as a German speaker) that the subtitles in the Film are rubbish too - (some are just a little off, some totally.) But, thanks again for putting me in a better mindset than i was ten minutes ago. Reply to this
1/17/2010 9:29 AM
Daniel Kepley wrote:
"Uwe Boll's adaptation of E.T. for the Atari 2600" FTW! I also loved the Monty Python clip: "Aren't you going to say, 'What's all this then?'" "Right, what's all this then?" Makes an interesting double-feature with BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL, eh? Reply to this
1/17/2010 4:02 PM
Cocacola4blood wrote:
when you were on youtube, I recommended "Nukie" and "Barn of the Blood Llamas". This ...was much worse... I'm sure I asked then, but I'll ask again, where do you find this shit? Reply to this
1/28/2010 2:25 AM
Rockabilly Dolphinman wrote:
I came up with one more: 'I Am A Fugitive From A Gang Bang' (I'm A Fugitive From A Chain Gang, 1932) Reply to this
4/21/2010 11:07 AM
Tom wrote:
another horrifying E.T. rip-off is a movie called "Nukie"-- that's the aliens name, but no, it isn't a porno. It's just horribly depressing and morbid for a family movie, oh and the main character has a snotty nose that he's always picking. That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster. Reply to this
5/16/2010 11:10 PM
Dane wrote:
Nice video. Too bad the mentally handicap seem to comment on your site. You know who you are! Go get ran over by the short bus. Reply to this
5/30/2010 10:00 AM
Mr. Cinema wrote:
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! This AND A Bevis and Buttface Porno!?!?! Next youll be telling me there is a Spongebob porn called 'LongCock NoPants' SWEET SUGAR COATED JESUS!! Reply to this
6/19/2010 1:12 AMmale enhancement wrote:
That alien looks like a cross between the Atari ET, Badi (Turkish ET), and if Max Renn shot the alien with a gun to cause tumors to pop out. In other words, it's the ugliest alien I've ever seen. Reply to this
6/26/2010 6:45 AMBook App wrote:
Resurrect, Fruit Juice, Zach And Zach Make A Porno, Laid-y, Sunshine and Electra pink/very Blue are the only titles that aren't splayed all over the net. Clockwork Who range only has one entry, but it's photos of a woman dressed as Alex De Large for Halloween. Everything else has already been used. Reply to this
7/6/2010 1:21 PMPhoto Mugs wrote:
I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips! Reply to this
7/9/2010 4:18 PMTechnology News Magazine wrote:
rip-off is a movie called "Nukie"-- that's the aliens name, but no, it isn't a porno. It's just horribly depressing and morbid for a family movie, oh and the main character has a snotty nose that he's always picking. That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster. Reply to this
7/20/2010 2:23 AMPhoto Balloons wrote:
Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started. Reply to this
7/20/2010 2:30 AMPhoto Balloons wrote:
Well, maybe this movie is a good tool for promoting abstinence. Just the thought of it might be enough to put me off sex for a solid month. Reply to this
7/24/2010 1:56 AMdomain name generator wrote:
That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster. Reply to this
7/24/2010 1:58 AMdomain name check wrote:
You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic. Reply to this
7/26/2010 1:42 AMWellness Programs wrote:
I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips!Thanks Reply to this
8/1/2010 9:20 AMChristening Gifts wrote:
You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic. Reply to this
8/2/2010 10:02 AMWigs wrote:
I feel sorry for the actress who played E.T. That had to be a very claustrophobia-inducing experience. Not to mention heat discomfort. Congrats on sitting through it Brad. Reply to this
8/6/2010 3:30 AMwatchstore wrote:
It's soo sexy and hot, but the second night I Invicta Watches a report that Rihanna was on her youngest daughter on the journey of the Invicta Grand Diver Watch and Invicta Women's Watch was a surprise visit from Eminem, who performed the latest celebrity gossip hit called together, love how you Lie. Rihanna is the most beautiful female celebrities in the music industry, she had a lot of Celebrity Sex Tape Scandals of his years as a singer, composer, May you will love this Invicta Sport Watch. Reply to this
8/7/2010 1:34 AMrubber bracelets wrote: Silly Bandz - rubber bracelets, when idle, acquire different ways - not dumb at all Olivia Soto. With more than 1,000 bracelets, New Windsor, 11 years old, is a serious collector. Reply to this
8/8/2010 10:05 AMLower Cholesterol wrote:
Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started. Reply to this
8/9/2010 11:32 AM
13secondstomidnight wrote:
DIE RULE 34!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY??? JUST WWWHHHHYYY?!!!!! WHO THE FUCK HAS A FETISH FOR ALIENS????!!!!
You know what? Furries, I can live with, S&M, yeah that's alright as long as you don't use real blades, and if you want to shoot up heroin and have four guys doing you at the same time, to each his (or her) own. But THIS??????
WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE???!!! WHO THE FUCK WOULD CREATE THIS???!!!
I am now going to do exactly what Mossad did after Munich. I'm going to hunt down the people who are responsible for this AND BLOW THEM AWAY WITH MY GODDAMN FUCKING AK-47!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'm gonna ENJOY IT! (And who says girls don't enjoy wanton torture as much as men? I'm gonna prove them all fucking WRONG!) Reply to this
8/27/2010 1:51 PMBuzzed Post wrote:
Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started. Reply to this
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob (websites is expensive!) my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT! Haven't seen the video yet, BUT I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT! IN YOUR FACE EVERYONE ELSE! HAH!
Reply to this
OMG YOURE SO COOL HOLY SHIT GO SUCK A DICK FAGGOT.
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OMG YOU'RE SO COOL
I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed.
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Hey fuck-face, you left out an entire section of the quote
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If you don't have a sense of humor, don't come to the snob site.
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wow, all he did was say he was 1st... god forbid someone actually insults you.
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The update email doesnt work anymore
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ET Phone Hoe!!!!
had to say it
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Jesus, I'm german and let me tell you those subtitles are censored as hell, when hes walking towards the bath tub he says Im from a distant planet i came here to touch your tits to see how they feel
oh yeah!
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Another great review! I sat there in disbelief as I was watching this piece of crap,but you tore it apart which it deserves! Thank you!
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ET ATE MY SPLOOGE! Brad you forgot my line, she looks to be composed of tumors and shit...
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Brutal. That costume looked like a pile of rancid, gelatinous feces. What a disturbing film, ha, kudos for getting through it.
Reply to this
You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic.
Reply to this
I feel sorry for the actress who played E.T. That had to be a very claustrophobia-inducing experience. Not to mention heat discomfort. Congrats on sitting through it Brad.
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That was hilarious. I cannot believe how gross that alien looked. Anyone turned on yet?
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Lol, the subtitles behind the english subtitles are portuguese!
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do you plan on reviewing Pod people?
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Well, maybe this movie is a good tool for promoting abstinence. Just the thought of it might be enough to put me off sex for a solid month.
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It's like a David Cronenberg movie made by the people who made "Crazy Fat Ethel 2"
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I'd say my childhood has been raped, but...
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...still, this is infinitely better than Brazillian STAR WARS.
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Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started.
Reply to this
Some one had to watch ET and say "You know what, I need to fuck that"
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LOL!
I have not watched Boondock Saints 2, now i want to watch it. Retarded Death Wish 3, LOL!.. which is by the way, a classic (for me personally)
Great Review
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I don't know how I ever managed to see portions of this...thing, but it all came flooding back to me like an episode of post-traumatic stress.
If I ever wondered what it a porno with a still-crispy burn victim would be like, this move about answered it.
Goddamn, I hope this doesn't come up in my dreams tonight.
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Oh, and that parody title of "Dr. Strangelove" was a stroke of genius!
No pun intended.
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Now all we need is review of Brazilian version with doubledicked male ET!
http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/8176/imagemmh0.jpg
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I must see that!
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Oh my god that was fucking horrifying.
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Jesus Christ Snob, were do ya find this shit? If I hadn't seen your review I would've refused to believe it existed.
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This is the most horrifying thing I've seen since your Black Devil Doll and Quadead Zone reviews. I'm... oh god...
I need to watch something else. I NEED TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE NOW!!! Your review was great, the... the "film" itself, chills me to the bone. Oh god.
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Ehm...sounds very Austrian...
If it´s really from Germany, then it´s Bavaria...and that´s far of from where I live.
(But seriously...rule 34 at its worst...)
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It's a german movie with an austrian actor in it.
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English subtitles over spanish subtitles over a German dub, who made this movie the united nations?
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Erm, no, the European Union.
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Haha, oh wow, this movie is just embarrassingly bad XD
I'm from Germany, and lemme tell you: These subtitles make abso-forking-lutely no sense - most of them don't even match the German (Austrian?) dialogue, it's more likely that they just made some crap up, I guess.
Anywho, seems like Rule 34 can REALLY apply to anything. My condolences.
Reply to this
I think the English subtitles are a translation of the Portugese subtitles the movie "originally" had, which means that whomever originally subbed this movie either was a prude or lied about speaking German fluently.
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Does anybody know the imdb page for this movie
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167149/
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Ugh. The alien looked more like the things from Mac and Me which just made everything even more harsh and disturbing.
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You've just inspired me! You think I can get Burger King and Coca Cola to sponsor my production of "Mac in Me"?
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Sir, you deserve the Presidential Medal of Honor for the "Mac in Me" joke. Nicely played!
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Hehehe must see this movie
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wow... thats kinda fucking gross in a black devil doll from hellish way. jeez, and i am from germany, but i never wanted to see e.t. fucking, let alone e.t. BEING fucked! that's sick! o my god...
Reply to this
That alien looks like a cross between the Atari ET, Badi (Turkish ET), and if Max Renn shot the alien with a gun to cause tumors to pop out. In other words, it's the ugliest alien I've ever seen.
You're better off watching Cheech and Chong Still Smokin' for ET sex jokes than this.
Reply to this
Oh...my...God. And I thought the original ET was the drizzling shits. Couldn't they at least have had the female ET take on a human form for the sex scenes?
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Ah man.... I've seen the scene where they are fucking a couple of years ago.... that was just gross as hell... I can't really think of any porn movie that disturbed me more than this.
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never been prouder to be german.
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No offense, M. Snob, but I felt this review was incomplete. I will need to do some research before I set my final opinion.
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How about this for an alternate title:
Reese's Pieces.
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So you've been picked up by tgwtg.com? Congratulations, I was wondering why you weren't on there yet.
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Bob: What are rou talking about?
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Congratulations man on joining That Guy With The Glasses, but I thought you didn't join them because you wanted to do your own thing. Still I think you will get allot more exposure that way and who knows what future opportunities are opened for you by joining them.
Again great to hear the wonderful news.
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Oh and I hope you don't mind the puerile comments you'll get on your videos from some viewers of TGWGT. Just saying that there are allot of 2 year old that can't spell and don't tolerate other peoples work or opinions and immediately go into nerd rages. But I know you don't mind any kind of comments. Congratulations and I hope the E.T. The Porno review is more bearable to be seen the second time.
Reply to this
Ok everyone, it's time to make up some porn-parody titles of our own. I'll start.
Bound For Gloryhole (Bound For Glory, 1976)
Little Miss Cunshine (Little Miss Sunshine, 2006)
Electra Glide In Pink; A.K.A Electra Glide In Very Blue (Electra Glide In Blue, 1977)
Cherry Poppins (Mary Poppins, 1964)
Bride Of Fucky (Bride OF Chucky, 1998)
Starfucked (Starstruck, 1982)
Cockwork Whorange (Clockwork Orange, 1971)
My Fair Laid-y (My Fair Lady, 1964)
Buttman And Throbbin' (Batman And Robin, 1997)
Queefer Madness (Reefer Madness, 1936)
Gay titles:
Zach And Zach Make A Porno (Zach And Miri Make A Porno, 2007)
Furit Juice
Ressrectum (gay zombie movie)
The Curious Case Of Benjamin's Butthole
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Ressrectum, Furit Juice, Zach And Zach Make A Porno, Laid-y, Cunshine and Electra pink/very Blue are the only titles that aren't splayed all over the net. Clockwork Whorange only has one entry, but it's photos of a woman dressed as Alex DeLarge for Halloween. Everything else has already been used.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin's Butthole is on youtube somewhere.
Yes, I actually took the time to google all this...
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Now I have to look up some of those.
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Rule 34 Bitches!
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.... I may vomit.
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You MAY vomit? I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips!
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Well...now I've seen everything.
*click*
*BANG!*
(silence)
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I am VERY turned on by this!
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Must... erase... memory...
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What has been seen cannot be un-seen.
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thanks to this review...i can't sleep!!! mindfuck!!!!
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One more gay title; 'The Adventures Of Butt Rogers In The 69th Century.'
Doesn't anyone else have any?
So Brad, did the performers have their eyes closed during the sex-scenes? That would be the only way to explain how they are able to maintain an erection.
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OK, let's see... porn titles:
Young Guns
The Firm
A Few Good Men
Top Gun
Wait... those are just the names of Tom Cruise movies.
How about BALL-ME instead of WALL-E?
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Oh yes, very good.
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Sorry, I meant "That would be the only way to explain how they are able to maintain their erections."
Bad grammar.
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Yucky vomit boot.
Truly this is not of this earth. The horror..the horror..
Thank you Cinema Snob for saving a future moment of lust.
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Mmmm, German porn is the best kind of porn in my book....EXCEPT WHEN THERE'S A WOMAN IN A NASTY ALIEN SUIT INVOLVED!
Bleeuugghh
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The puking in the boot made me hysterical. Hilarious review.
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Brad, I just saw you are now a featured contributer on tgwtg, congrats
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why? why oh why? would you do this to yourself?
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Well, that's my childhood raped...
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These subtitles are so wrong. At one point the sewer monster says that sex on its planet lasts about one minute, so it knows what sex is. But the subtitles say that it has no idea what they´re doing.
Well, besides that, THIS IS SO HORRIBLE! When you mentioned watching alien porn I thought of porn with, well, aliens, but I would never have imagined something like THAT!
Also, congrats to joining TGWTG!
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Hell yeah, you finaly joined TGWTG! I saw the ET porno back in the day, and i am still scrubing my eyes!
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Wow, the joining of TGWTG was unexpected. Congrats!
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And I thought "Eat Me: the Sextraterrestrial" was just a gag from Meatballs 4 (which isn't a porn movie, just one of those tits-hang-out summer "teen" movies).
I was young and didn't know better. Don't pick on me.
Anyway, horrid movie (that made my stomach woozy), great review (love the boot scene), and congrats on being picked up by tgwtg! Now youtube is officially irrelevant!
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I actually had a neighbor call the cops on me and some buddies for projecting this film in the yard on a 18 foot screen. We were drunk and laughing pretty loud, the cop thought it was hilarious and told us just to keep the noise down.
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I can't believe there's actually someone else who has seen "The Geek." I could not figure out what the hell the point of that short was. This must mean you have the "Godmonster of Indian Flats" DVD... or did you get your hands on it another way?
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Something Weird offers the full version of The Geek separately from the Godmonster disc. Probably on DVD R by now.
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More fake (I think) porn titles...
The Licker Man (The Wicker Man, 1973)
Lone Wolf And Cum (Lone Wolf And Cub series, 1972-'74)
That's InHertainment (That's Entertainment, 1974)
The Sperminator (The Terminator, 1984)
When The West Was Wet (Starring John Wang and Clit Eastwood)
Meat The Parents (Meet The Parents, 1992 original or 2000 remake)
Hotdog: The Movie (No change necessary)
I'm tired, you 'cum' up with more...
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Mr. Holland's Anus (Mr. Holland's Opus)
Star Whores Episode 69: Revenge of the Syph
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Oh, I like!
Kung Fu porn: Fist Fuck OF Fury!
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The director must have thought there would be a demand for this kind of thing and the fact that there could be any demand for it would mean there's actually someone who got a hard on while watching regular E.T
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There's a full length version of 'The Geek?' Almost the entire movie is made up of footage of people walking through the woods!
Maybe they should call it 'Gerry: The Porno."
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Something Weird offers The Geek on double feature disc with a film called Sin in 69. According to the catalog write up, the guys make it with the girls before going in search of the Geek, and the Geek rapes the second girl (the one we see on the ground with no explanation in the cut version) before the big fight at the end.
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Hi, awesome Review, managed to pull my shitty mood up (i've been fired today) again. Just wanted to point out (as a German speaker) that the subtitles in the Film are rubbish too - (some are just a little off, some totally.)
But, thanks again for putting me in a better mindset than i was ten minutes ago.
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"Uwe Boll's adaptation of E.T. for the Atari 2600" FTW! I also loved the Monty Python clip: "Aren't you going to say, 'What's all this then?'" "Right, what's all this then?" Makes an interesting double-feature with BLACK DEVIL DOLL FROM HELL, eh?
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when you were on youtube, I recommended "Nukie" and "Barn of the Blood Llamas". This ...was much worse... I'm sure I asked then, but I'll ask again, where do you find this shit?
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Oh my GOD! E.T. looks like it has diarheea on it's fingers! Damn grose!
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I came up with one more: 'I Am A Fugitive From A Gang Bang' (I'm A Fugitive From A Chain Gang, 1932)
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Animal porn: Mr. Head
Child porn: Run, Lolita, Run
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they are no germans... they are austrian guys!!!!!!
great review brad
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Best one yet! FULL METAL JACKOFF!
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This may be the most repulsive and UNSEXY attempt at making a parody porn EVER....
I threw up a little.
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Does any one know what he was saying in German at 5:59?
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You know what might be the most awesome (or horrible) thing of all time? Manos: Hands of Pleasure
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Humans: Is There Anything They Don't Make Porn Of?
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Thats fucking it.That world pushed me too much.Im suiciding.
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another horrifying E.T. rip-off is a movie called "Nukie"-- that's the aliens name, but no, it isn't a porno. It's just horribly depressing and morbid for a family movie, oh and the main character has a snotty nose that he's always picking. That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster.
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I am dissapointed on the lack of "E.T. bone home!".
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Nice video. Too bad the mentally handicap seem to comment on your site. You know who you are! Go get ran over by the short bus.
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WHAT THE FUCK!!!! This AND A Bevis and Buttface Porno!?!?! Next youll be telling me there is a Spongebob porn called 'LongCock NoPants' SWEET SUGAR COATED JESUS!!
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That alien looks like a cross between the Atari ET, Badi (Turkish ET), and if Max Renn shot the alien with a gun to cause tumors to pop out. In other words, it's the ugliest alien I've ever seen.
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That's just wrong. My childhood raped forever...
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Resurrect, Fruit Juice, Zach And Zach Make A Porno, Laid-y, Sunshine and Electra pink/very Blue are the only titles that aren't splayed all over the net. Clockwork Who range only has one entry, but it's photos of a woman dressed as Alex De Large for Halloween. Everything else has already been used.
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I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips!
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rip-off is a movie called "Nukie"-- that's the aliens name, but no, it isn't a porno. It's just horribly depressing and morbid for a family movie, oh and the main character has a snotty nose that he's always picking. That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster.
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Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started.
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Well, maybe this movie is a good tool for promoting abstinence. Just the thought of it might be enough to put me off sex for a solid month.
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That movie is so crappy that in France the VHS sleeve ripped off of Mac and Me directly; literally by taking the poster of Mac and Me and then airbrushing stuff out of the poster.
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You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic.
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Another great review! I sat there in disbelief as I was watching this piece of crap,but you tore it apart which it deserves! Thanks
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I'm WAY past that! Right now I'm considering a sex change and becoming a nun who lives a secret night life as a republican after seeing these clips. And I only saw the clips!Thanks
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You can all thank the vendors at Cinema Wasteland for your viewing experience here today. Brad and I honestly thought this movie was a joke at first. I'm really glad I didn't shell out $15 for that bootleg, though the box-art was epic.
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Mmmm, German porn is the best kind of porn in my book....EXCEPT WHEN THERE'S A WOMAN IN A NASTY ALIEN SUIT INVOLVED!
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I feel sorry for the actress who played E.T. That had to be a very claustrophobia-inducing experience. Not to mention heat discomfort. Congrats on sitting through it Brad.
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You know what? Furries, I can live with, S&M, yeah that's alright as long as you don't use real blades, and if you want to shoot up heroin and have four guys doing you at the same time, to each his (or her) own. But THIS??????
WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE???!!! WHO THE FUCK WOULD CREATE THIS???!!!
I am now going to do exactly what Mossad did after Munich. I'm going to hunt down the people who are responsible for this AND BLOW THEM AWAY WITH MY GODDAMN FUCKING AK-47!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'm gonna ENJOY IT! (And who says girls don't enjoy wanton torture as much as men? I'm gonna prove them all fucking WRONG!)
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Oh wow this could be one of the worst movies I think you ever reviewed and that's saying allot. I really don't know if this is worse than Black Devil Doll From Hell or Brazilian Star Wars but it could be one of the worst you reviewed this year and the year just started.
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Oh great, just another reason to be ashamed of being a german. As if we didn't had enough of those.
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