Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Could a movie about a bed that eats people be artsy enough for The Cinema Snob? Or will it just give him food poisoning.
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The Cinema Snob: Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
this is just weird and the backstory is really pulled out someone's ass.
good review
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So it goes from being an exploitation art film to being a horror film so it can explain its plot?
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I agree with you....Thanks for posting the video...great..
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No, the MEN BEHIND THE SUN joke was genius.
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Yes that's exactly what I thought while the Snob was reviewing the movie. It looks like they try to make a symbol out of every scene and present the bed as a metaphor of human degradation but the movie looks pretty good in an artsy and pretentious kind of way. Finally The Snob has found a movie for his tastes after searching through the heap of trash cinema. Marvelous
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(shudders) I hated Men Behind the Sun...
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The Writer/Director lives across the street from me. No joke.
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You have to ask him what he was on when he made 'Death Bed.' I'm guessing shrooms and speed.
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Artsy and pretentious this film may be but I cant forgive it for some of the worst acting I've ever experienced, when the cigar-smoking bandit was getting eaten I just about died laughing BEFORE the cigar was sticking straight out of the bed. I've been eager to see this movie get what it deserves since Patton Oswald made it famous in his stand up routine, thank you for sitting through it for us.
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All I can hope is that Patton Oswalt carries through with his threat and gives the world RAPE STOVE: THE STOVE THAT RAPES PEOPLE.
Brad, it's my understanding that George Barry forgot that he even made "Death Bed" until somebody found an answer print and thought "Hey, this would look good on DVD." Though it's rare there have been movies that sat on the shelf for years: the crud occult-mystery "The Dead Talk Back" was never released after the film was made in 1957, then it was lost and not discovered until 1993; the "mad monk" Rasputin film "Agony" was shot in 1979 but not released until 1985 by the Soviet government; finally, Ed Wood's "Night of the Ghouls" was shot in 1959 but not released until 1981 because Wood could not pay the film lab fees!
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mother fucker man, i'm expecting you to pull Mangler out next though that ones a little mainstream but still.....it would be fun to watch the snob review it
Good Work on this one....I can't believe that this could be made as an artsy film but then again what you've described about the film with a guy drinking water was made by student so this had to be made i guess
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lol when you are touching your T.V. at the end of the review you almost looked like Johnny Depp.
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How about a Paypal account so we can send you some money to buy a new camera?
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nonono, stay with the old one.
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Great as always.
The guy with the skeleton hands is the dad from Boy meets world. MMMMM Topanga!
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Another great episode - this one had me laughing out loud at several points.
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okay... That movie looks weird... I'm debating if it's the good kind of weird though.
Awesome review though. Especially loved the ending with the big TV lol
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It's not the good kind of weird.
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I do love arthouse and insane z-movies like Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars though.
So I still don't really know
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As I always said your the best reviewer on the net, but your sidebar and endings lately have eclipsed even that. Excellent work.
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I'm still just trying to imagine the moment when the filmmakers sat down and thought this film up.
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Hilarious episode. Loved the internal monologue at the end.
*Dr. Evil Voice* "...Hot Pocket."
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Shouldn't the line about food poisoning end with a question mark?
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I noticed the newspaper that was printing the stories of the bed killing people was the Daily Bugle. I' am surprised I didn't see this headline
"SPIDER-MAN AND DEATH BED TEAM UP AND GO ON CRIME SPREE!!"
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I caught the Daily Bugle bit, too. It's also probably one of the funnier parts of the movie too, which is weird since it probably wasn't even an intentional joke.
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Wow, Brad.
That was amazing.
Thanks for the great review.
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Ugh, not only did you have to remind me of Men Behind the Sun, you just HAD to show THAT scene.
I love that your internal monologue sounds like Ace Rimmer.
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Wow, you're becoming really good at this.
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Weird... I was just listening to one of Patton Oswald's CDs where he does his Death Bed bit thinking, "I wonder if Brad will ever get to this one?"
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Personally, I prefer "The Sinful Bed".
But, still funny stuff
P.S. How did you miss "The Mangler" in your rant?
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Great stuff as always man.
Got to ask, is this a re-release of an earlier snob video?
Either that or i've been watching a lot more shitty movies than i realized.
Either way, keep up the good work.
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This movie was only 70 minutes?! It seemed much longer when we watched it. I guess Death Bed is also able to dick-ishly control time. Watching this made The Stand feel short by comparison.
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Great I was hoping you'd get to this movie. Good job A+
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Was that stomach acid or beer? I could have sworn that was Budweiser, which does have a similar effect on human flesh. Awesome review as always Brad!
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lol, another great review. I actually kind of want to see "Death Bed" now.....
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great review u should totaly review men behind the sun next not the original but the second on by godfrey ho
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Oof!! That movie was garbage.
But the original MEN BEHIND THE SUN director, T.F. Mou, also made another excellent movie called LOST SOULS.
That's one I suggest any lover of QUALITY cult cinema track down.
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Would love to see this on some serious 'shrooms!
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wow, impecable timing. i've had this film on my brain for the last week, and as if by magic, the snob appears!
now i've seen this much i'm going to have to look at the whole thing though, i'm a bit of a nerd for the artist "the artist" is based on, and i'm pretty sure this is technically the only film that "about" him.
which is a mix of both slightly depressing, and immesely, immesely weird.
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The Teddy bear is bleeding...
WHY IS THE TEDDY BEAR BLEEDING?!?!
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Thirty years is still not long enough for this one.
Classy british accent I must say though, sir. Very classy, indeed.
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this has to be one of the strangest movies i have ever seen and why would someone publish it after 30 years what did some broke film professor find a old student film and say hey I could pay off my coke dealer with this
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Before I even watched the review I knew this was going to be something special. I had heard of this movie before and had always hoped you would do a Snob video about it. Imagine my joy when I read the title!
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Surprised you didn't say DEATHBED DEATHBED DEATHBED
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"You show me images of nudist zombies, Turkish space warriors, and pornography of the nazi ilk"
-HaHaHaHa. One of the best reviews!
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I wondered if the Snob would ever get around to Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People (sorry, I prefer the Patton Oswalt title). I was a little anxious about seeing it receive your trademark review-stick-beating, because I actually really like this movie (warts and all, so to speak), I even think the backstory and resolution are rather original. It also introduced me to Aubrey Beardsley (supposedly the artist in the wall), whose work I've grown to admire. However, you were actually very fair to it (it had echoes of your Italian Stallion review) which I don't really know if I find disappointing or satisfying. Either way, great work as always.
Side-note: your camera seemed to be having a little trouble with the focus. Also, just a thought: between your banner ads and the amount of space in the frame above your head, maybe you should think about aiming the camera down slightly, so your head will be centered in the frame despite the banners. Anyway, just a thought.
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very well said mate...
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you should review nekromantik sometime^^
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Hey Brad, this is news you are REALLY going to want to read given your favorite film of all time: http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/16212/-caligula-director-plans-world-s-first-3d-porn
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snob can yuo review a good movie cald austin powers plzzzzzzzz
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I'm sure Death Bed was released on video in the UK back in the early 80s.
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YES!!! DEATHBED!!!
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Tonight's extra large portions have been brought to you by the ice cream scoop up George Barry's ass.
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Fantastic review, one of your best!
I must find this movie.
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DEATH BED!!! Yesss!!! One of the worst trash of all!!!
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This movie looks very interesting despite its flaws. I actually like the back story of the demon that was a tree then became a breeze, its like something from Gothic Faery Tale. Also love the Idea of the artist ghost trapped within his own painting. The whole thing looks to have a dream like quality. Your review settles it I am going to buy this one.
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Jesus titty fucking Christ, that is the most pretentious, nonsensical piece of shit I've seen since We Are the Strange. I hate, hate, hate, HATE movies that try so hard to be weird and "surreal" for the sake of being weird and "surreal" and actually get popular with the the "I'm so different and unique that I simply can't enjoy a movie with a budget over a five dollars and a KFC family bucket."
...
...
And I also love the fact that the dude's hands are apparently held together with wire. You can see the little drill holes on his fingers. They could've at least TRIED to make it look like they didn't just yoink the bones from a high school biology class.
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the end was simply genius. watched three times and it still cracks me up
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OH YES!!!!! The review I've been waiting for! What's interesting is that I received my copy of this movie (which I ordered from eBay) on the day that the Patton Oswalt film BIG FAN was released on DVD. Without a doubt the best review from the Snob EVER!
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Love your voiceover at the end. LOL!
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Arty Garbage at its finest- from its execution to its characters, to its story handling. ALL SHIT.
I have nothing but hatred for anyone who acts all high and mighty like this IRL, seriously- there's no point, ESPECIALLY IF IT SOUNDS FAKER THAN A CARTOON...
I'm surprised Cinema Snob likes this shit. Well, it's his opinion.
Like I said, if anyone approached me and talked all arty to me, I'd tell them to seriously fuck off- I'm disturbed enough as it is knowing movies, for example, like this, EXIST.
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Would love to watch this on some serious 'shrooms!
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Great Review Brad..i am rapidly becoming a fan!
Yes,i have seen a few of these arty farty type of films...they exist merely for us to mock them and take the piss of of them
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This review was...? So this is what taking drugs feels like.
Thanks Mr.Cinema Snob. Truly you stir up earthquaking laughter
Nice coming out of the closet with television fetish at the end. Am a bit into the Neon ligthing on store windows myself.
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Oh wow.. the "Men Behind The Sun" joke was so wrong... but so yet very, very funny! Your videos are just getting better and better; and that not saying a little.. you where kicking ass from the very start of this show!
Man, going into this film I had pretty much the same expectation like anyone else... and then slowly realizing this that this has to be one of the most misplaced movie titles, and setups for an art house films... One minute, it screams cheap exloitation and cheese.. and the next minute you have some really poetic moments. This is one of the films that really makes me feel dirty, since it becomes so obvious for myself that people can sell me any kind of films if they just throw in some surreal and pretentious imagery!
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Nah this was about the same as any other student "film" they shoot in Art or Media classes.
I should know I suffered to pretentiousness of having my name featured in the credits.
I even asked the tutor to destroy the tapes.
Was in hysterics at the "Orgy Bed" scene how could Brad not feature that in his review.
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Finally got my copy of this...I love this movie! It's so all over the place! Even though it gets very surreal and artsy it never felt pretentious, because the next scene would be so silly and seemed purposefully so. I love how the snob found his happiness at last.
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Very funny review, but which movie is this, where the bed is eating the kid and then thousands liters of blood coming out of it? it was shown at the beginning
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Dude, that's the original NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.
And the unfortunate victim in question is a very young Johnny Depp.
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I was actually planning to buy this film, because I like a lot of stuff that "Cult Epics" release.
But after seeing this.. I don't know anymore. I do enjoy artfilms and actually buy them often, but I don't know... Well, maybe I buy it if I find it cheap.
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"Oh I'm sorry. This is just the SOUND of Jean Shallot WATCHING the movie." XD lol.
I'm curious. Do they actua;;y eat fried chicken & plums while they make out?
----------------------------------------
Kid: "Mommy? Do they have beds that make themselves?"
Mom: "Here honey, go watch this movie."
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This was certainly a strange and silly movie. I still like the originality behind the bed, but for a movie as strange as this, the DVD extras and commentaries felt underwhelming.
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Picture I drew yesterday ^
I think you make the best movie reviews.
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lol when you are touching your T.V. at the end of the review you almost looked like Johnny Depp.
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Thanks for your support and informative post.
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Some people get songs stuck in their head, other people get quotes in theirs.
Every time I watch your videos in my guardshack at work, I hear you saying: "Death Bed: THE BED THAT EATS?!"
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You are such a pleasure to watch, and this review made me laugh so hard. I want to see this movie now with my own cinema snobbish friend.
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I have to say the concept is so good and the budget low that I could see this possibly warranting a remake although this original is bordering on bizarre horror masterpiece in It's own right. This is a must add to your horror dvd collection to give it some diversity and even if you don't like the movie look at it this way: You have a movie called Death Bed The Bed That Eats, that's worth it alone.
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AT around 5:39 it looks like Cheech Marin with a Rollie Fingers mustache.If that spammer above me sold baseball jerseys you could probably score a Brewers "Fingers" jersey
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My uncle pete played the priest in this movie and he told me he got paid 20 bucks and craft services was dairy queen.
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i love reading your post. Thank you so much!
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I’ve never been able to form a trusting relationship with my bed for fear that it will suddenly try to eat me. And now I know it’s true! Beds do eat people! And I bet that the dryer myth is true too! Dryers do eat socks and I bet they have eaten a few people in their day too.
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i did not like it somthings are really weired sorry
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AT around 5:39 it looks like Cheech Marin with a Rollie Fingers mustache.If that spammer above me sold baseball jerseys you could probably score a Brewers "Fingers" jersey
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This is probably one of the worst horror movies that I've ever seen. I can't realize how they've managed to come up with such a poor idea for a movie and even more, they found someone to back it up financially.
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somethings dont match....
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Wait a minute. What was that paper called? The Daily Bugle! Where's Spider-Man?
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Actually, I'd like to see you stumble upon exploitation movies you like more often. You see all these obscure movies for a reason. There must be some attraction besides the opportunity to tear bad films apart. You must have found a few gold mines that keep you wanting more. Surely there are any number of good ones you've seen but just aren't telling us about. And there must be some gems that only you and a select few people could bring to a wider audience.
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Interesting osbservations. The harsh language and use of the Lord's name in vain made it nearly as irritating as the movie itself. I did not finish watching the movie, nor did I make it through this acerbic review thereof.
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The "lunch" scene is different from the one I saw some 25 years ago. Then, "the bed" took it's time to remove the girl's clothes, from the blanket, the pajama shirt, the trouser, and finally her panties. But the one I just saw, it only showed the blanket and pajama, and then .. she's already naked. What a bummer. The old one was much intense.
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A whole lot of food poisoning is my guess...
Katy
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It's probably not a hopeful sign that these reviews - particularly ones of such ridiculous films - occasionally give me ideas for my books (which are not meant to be horror, porn, or exploitation).
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I cracked up at a couple of scenes. One where the bed killed a couple of people with a pretty impressive card trick, and another where the guy got his hands dissolved to the bone, and just had a look on his face that said, "Aw, man. That Burger King didn't hold the onions like I asked them to."
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SO 4th of July a friend of mine brought this movie over to watch and after less than 5 minutes all I was thinking is 'if the snob hasn't reviewed this yet, I'm gonna pester him til her does'. I am so glad you already have
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Man, that "Men Behind the Sun" clip was rough to watch.
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I remember this movie. It was so lame. I even remember some lame ass movie where there was evil force that killed people by sucking them into a vent.
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will watch the movie, looks good.
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