Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Could a movie about a bed that eats people be artsy enough for The Cinema Snob?  Or will it just give him food poisoning.

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  • 1/28/2010 3:24 AM devilinc wrote:
    this is just weird and the backstory is really pulled out someone's ass.

    good review
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:39 AM VendavalEste wrote:
    So it goes from being an exploitation art film to being a horror film so it can explain its plot?
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:40 AM ColinJ wrote:
    No, the MEN BEHIND THE SUN joke was genius.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:42 AM CrimsonDusk wrote:
    Yes that's exactly what I thought while the Snob was reviewing the movie. It looks like they try to make a symbol out of every scene and present the bed as a metaphor of human degradation but the movie looks pretty good in an artsy and pretentious kind of way. Finally The Snob has found a movie for his tastes after searching through the heap of trash cinema. Marvelous
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:55 AM Tyler wrote:
    (shudders) I hated Men Behind the Sun...
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:08 AM Brett wrote:
    The Writer/Director lives across the street from me. No joke.
    Reply to this
    1. 2/2/2010 8:33 PM Strelnikov wrote:
      You have to ask him what he was on when he made 'Death Bed.' I'm guessing shrooms and speed.
      Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:15 AM TJ wrote:
    Artsy and pretentious this film may be but I cant forgive it for some of the worst acting I've ever experienced, when the cigar-smoking bandit was getting eaten I just about died laughing BEFORE the cigar was sticking straight out of the bed. I've been eager to see this movie get what it deserves since Patton Oswald made it famous in his stand up routine, thank you for sitting through it for us.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:59 AM Strelnikov wrote:
    All I can hope is that Patton Oswalt carries through with his threat and gives the world RAPE STOVE: THE STOVE THAT RAPES PEOPLE.

    Brad, it's my understanding that George Barry forgot that he even made "Death Bed" until somebody found an answer print and thought "Hey, this would look good on DVD." Though it's rare there have been movies that sat on the shelf for years: the crud occult-mystery "The Dead Talk Back" was never released after the film was made in 1957, then it was lost and not discovered until 1993; the "mad monk" Rasputin film "Agony" was shot in 1979 but not released until 1985 by the Soviet government; finally, Ed Wood's "Night of the Ghouls" was shot in 1959 but not released until 1981 because Wood could not pay the film lab fees!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 5:23 AM SweetJesusTits wrote:
    mother fucker man, i'm expecting you to pull Mangler out next though that ones a little mainstream but still.....it would be fun to watch the snob review it

    Good Work on this one....I can't believe that this could be made as an artsy film but then again what you've described about the film with a guy drinking water was made by student so this had to be made i guess
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 6:35 AM GuitarGuy wrote:
    lol when you are touching your T.V. at the end of the review you almost looked like Johnny Depp.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 7:01 AM Flo wrote:
    How about a Paypal account so we can send you some money to buy a new camera?
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 8:14 AM skkk wrote:
    nonono, stay with the old one.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 8:23 AM banthafett wrote:
    Great as always.

    The guy with the skeleton hands is the dad from Boy meets world. MMMMM Topanga!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 9:09 AM DesertEagle wrote:
    Another great episode - this one had me laughing out loud at several points.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 9:22 AM Nephilim wrote:
    okay... That movie looks weird... I'm debating if it's the good kind of weird though.

    Awesome review though. Especially loved the ending with the big TV lol
    Reply to this
    1. 1/28/2010 5:12 PM unknownmoviefan wrote:
      It's not the good kind of weird.
      Reply to this
      1. 1/28/2010 8:48 PM Nephilim wrote:
        I do love arthouse and insane z-movies like Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars though.

        So I still don't really know
        Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 9:49 AM Stray13 wrote:
    As I always said your the best reviewer on the net, but your sidebar and endings lately have eclipsed even that. Excellent work.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 10:02 AM noyer wrote:
    I'm still just trying to imagine the moment when the filmmakers sat down and thought this film up.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 11:33 AM Cornbred-X wrote:
    Hilarious episode. Loved the internal monologue at the end.

    *Dr. Evil Voice* "...Hot Pocket."
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 11:34 AM Jimbo wrote:
    Shouldn't the line about food poisoning end with a question mark?
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 2:11 PM PepethePoodle wrote:
    I noticed the newspaper that was printing the stories of the bed killing people was the Daily Bugle. I' am surprised I didn't see this headline

    "SPIDER-MAN AND DEATH BED TEAM UP AND GO ON CRIME SPREE!!"
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 2:30 PM solidturd wrote:
    Wow, Brad.
    That was amazing.

    Thanks for the great review.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 2:31 PM 2xSlick wrote:
    Ugh, not only did you have to remind me of Men Behind the Sun, you just HAD to show THAT scene.
    I love that your internal monologue sounds like Ace Rimmer.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 2:38 PM dood wrote:
    Wow, you're becoming really good at this.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:16 PM OCD Superman wrote:
    Weird... I was just listening to one of Patton Oswald's CDs where he does his Death Bed bit thinking, "I wonder if Brad will ever get to this one?"
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 3:33 PM MarkAndrew wrote:
    Personally, I prefer "The Sinful Bed".

    But, still funny stuff

    P.S. How did you miss "The Mangler" in your rant?
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:00 PM SteBenson wrote:
    Great stuff as always man.

    Got to ask, is this a re-release of an earlier snob video?

    Either that or i've been watching a lot more shitty movies than i realized.

    Either way, keep up the good work.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:01 PM torsoboy wrote:
    This movie was only 70 minutes?! It seemed much longer when we watched it. I guess Death Bed is also able to dick-ishly control time. Watching this made The Stand feel short by comparison.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 4:20 PM Jeremy wrote:
    Great I was hoping you'd get to this movie. Good job A+
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 6:12 PM diggerjohn111 wrote:
    Was that stomach acid or beer? I could have sworn that was Budweiser, which does have a similar effect on human flesh. Awesome review as always Brad!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 6:46 PM MartialHorror wrote:
    lol, another great review. I actually kind of want to see "Death Bed" now.....
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 6:52 PM XxzhadowxX wrote:
    great review u should totaly review men behind the sun next not the original but the second on by godfrey ho
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 6:58 PM ColinJ wrote:
    Oof!! That movie was garbage.

    But the original MEN BEHIND THE SUN director, T.F. Mou, also made another excellent movie called LOST SOULS.

    That's one I suggest any lover of QUALITY cult cinema track down.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 7:00 PM pandaeyes42 wrote:
    Would love to see this on some serious 'shrooms!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 7:17 PM ACG wrote:
    wow, impecable timing. i've had this film on my brain for the last week, and as if by magic, the snob appears!
    now i've seen this much i'm going to have to look at the whole thing though, i'm a bit of a nerd for the artist "the artist" is based on, and i'm pretty sure this is technically the only film that "about" him.
    which is a mix of both slightly depressing, and immesely, immesely weird.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 8:06 PM CapnG wrote:
    The Teddy bear is bleeding...

    WHY IS THE TEDDY BEAR BLEEDING?!?!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 8:27 PM Joe wrote:
    Thirty years is still not long enough for this one.

    Classy british accent I must say though, sir. Very classy, indeed.
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 9:46 PM smb1916 wrote:
    this has to be one of the strangest movies i have ever seen and why would someone publish it after 30 years what did some broke film professor find a old student film and say hey I could pay off my coke dealer with this
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 10:22 PM skrag2112 wrote:
    Before I even watched the review I knew this was going to be something special. I had heard of this movie before and had always hoped you would do a Snob video about it. Imagine my joy when I read the title!
    Reply to this
  • 1/28/2010 11:39 PM Prons wrote:
    Surprised you didn't say DEATHBED DEATHBED DEATHBED
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 2:42 AM RussianWhore wrote:
    "You show me images of nudist zombies, Turkish space warriors, and pornography of the nazi ilk"

    -HaHaHaHa. One of the best reviews!
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 3:22 AM matsugawa wrote:
    I wondered if the Snob would ever get around to Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People (sorry, I prefer the Patton Oswalt title). I was a little anxious about seeing it receive your trademark review-stick-beating, because I actually really like this movie (warts and all, so to speak), I even think the backstory and resolution are rather original. It also introduced me to Aubrey Beardsley (supposedly the artist in the wall), whose work I've grown to admire. However, you were actually very fair to it (it had echoes of your Italian Stallion review) which I don't really know if I find disappointing or satisfying. Either way, great work as always.

    Side-note: your camera seemed to be having a little trouble with the focus. Also, just a thought: between your banner ads and the amount of space in the frame above your head, maybe you should think about aiming the camera down slightly, so your head will be centered in the frame despite the banners. Anyway, just a thought.
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 7:34 AM deepass wrote:
    you should review nekromantik sometime^^
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 8:55 AM noyer wrote:
    Hey Brad, this is news you are REALLY going to want to read given your favorite film of all time: http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/16212/-caligula-director-plans-world-s-first-3d-porn
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 10:25 AM Darius wrote:
    snob can yuo review a good movie cald austin powers plzzzzzzzz
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 11:46 AM SimonT wrote:
    I'm sure Death Bed was released on video in the UK back in the early 80s.
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 12:17 PM Mark wrote:
    YES!!! DEATHBED!!!
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 10:56 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
    Tonight's extra large portions have been brought to you by the ice cream scoop up George Barry's ass.
    Reply to this
  • 1/29/2010 11:43 PM Graham L. wrote:
    Fantastic review, one of your best!

    I must find this movie.
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2010 8:17 AM Adamo wrote:
    DEATH BED!!! Yesss!!! One of the worst trash of all!!!
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2010 11:24 AM Miz wrote:
    This movie looks very interesting despite its flaws. I actually like the back story of the demon that was a tree then became a breeze, its like something from Gothic Faery Tale. Also love the Idea of the artist ghost trapped within his own painting. The whole thing looks to have a dream like quality. Your review settles it I am going to buy this one.
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2010 12:07 PM SpecterM91 wrote:
    Jesus titty fucking Christ, that is the most pretentious, nonsensical piece of shit I've seen since We Are the Strange. I hate, hate, hate, HATE movies that try so hard to be weird and "surreal" for the sake of being weird and "surreal" and actually get popular with the the "I'm so different and unique that I simply can't enjoy a movie with a budget over a five dollars and a KFC family bucket."

    ...

    ...

    And I also love the fact that the dude's hands are apparently held together with wire. You can see the little drill holes on his fingers. They could've at least TRIED to make it look like they didn't just yoink the bones from a high school biology class.
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2010 4:57 PM Burnnote wrote:
    the end was simply genius. watched three times and it still cracks me up
    Reply to this
  • 1/30/2010 11:37 PM Daniel Kepley wrote:
    OH YES!!!!! The review I've been waiting for! What's interesting is that I received my copy of this movie (which I ordered from eBay) on the day that the Patton Oswalt film BIG FAN was released on DVD. Without a doubt the best review from the Snob EVER!
    Reply to this
  • 1/31/2010 8:14 AM Manic Mark wrote:
    Love your voiceover at the end. LOL!
    Reply to this
  • 1/31/2010 1:19 PM S-3 wrote:
    Arty Garbage at its finest- from its execution to its characters, to its story handling. ALL SHIT.

    I have nothing but hatred for anyone who acts all high and mighty like this IRL, seriously- there's no point, ESPECIALLY IF IT SOUNDS FAKER THAN A CARTOON...

    I'm surprised Cinema Snob likes this shit. Well, it's his opinion.

    Like I said, if anyone approached me and talked all arty to me, I'd tell them to seriously fuck off- I'm disturbed enough as it is knowing movies, for example, like this, EXIST.
    Reply to this
  • 1/31/2010 3:39 PM pandaeyes42 wrote:
    Would love to watch this on some serious 'shrooms!
    Reply to this
  • 1/31/2010 7:59 PM destro9 wrote:
    Great Review Brad..i am rapidly becoming a fan!
    Yes,i have seen a few of these arty farty type of films...they exist merely for us to mock them and take the piss of of them
    Reply to this
  • 2/1/2010 2:55 PM Hellbishop wrote:
    This review was...? So this is what taking drugs feels like.

    Thanks Mr.Cinema Snob. Truly you stir up earthquaking laughter Now i gotta find this masterpiece of weirdness to view whenever reality is too real.

    Nice coming out of the closet with television fetish at the end. Am a bit into the Neon ligthing on store windows myself.
    Reply to this
  • 2/1/2010 4:40 PM Nils B-Film Productions wrote:
    Oh wow.. the "Men Behind The Sun" joke was so wrong... but so yet very, very funny! Your videos are just getting better and better; and that not saying a little.. you where kicking ass from the very start of this show!

    Man, going into this film I had pretty much the same expectation like anyone else... and then slowly realizing this that this has to be one of the most misplaced movie titles, and setups for an art house films... One minute, it screams cheap exloitation and cheese.. and the next minute you have some really poetic moments. This is one of the films that really makes me feel dirty, since it becomes so obvious for myself that people can sell me any kind of films if they just throw in some surreal and pretentious imagery!
    Reply to this
  • 2/5/2010 7:39 PM oh dear wrote:
    Nah this was about the same as any other student "film" they shoot in Art or Media classes.

    I should know I suffered to pretentiousness of having my name featured in the credits.
    I even asked the tutor to destroy the tapes.

    Was in hysterics at the "Orgy Bed" scene how could Brad not feature that in his review.
    Reply to this
  • 2/10/2010 7:52 PM Miz wrote:
    Finally got my copy of this...I love this movie! It's so all over the place! Even though it gets very surreal and artsy it never felt pretentious, because the next scene would be so silly and seemed purposefully so. I love how the snob found his happiness at last.
    Reply to this
  • 2/12/2010 6:21 PM Bartminator wrote:
    Very funny review, but which movie is this, where the bed is eating the kid and then thousands liters of blood coming out of it? it was shown at the beginning


    Reply to this
    1. 2/14/2010 2:41 AM ColinJ wrote:
      Dude, that's the original NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.

      And the unfortunate victim in question is a very young Johnny Depp.
      Reply to this
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