"Alice in Wonderland" Review
Brad reviews the latest venture into 3-D with Tim Burton's new "Alice in Wonderland."
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The Cinema Snob: "Alice in Wonderland" Review
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what about Never Ending Story?
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Funnt, you bring that up, here in latin america the movie posters and billboards, read: Mad Hatter (el sombrero loco) and then on the bottom it says in the same size of letter "Alice in wonderland"
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ah so Gillian is your fiance? you are a lucky man
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You don't like Legend? WE ARE OVER.
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I'll take my Alice as Kate Beckinsale, thank you very much, Mr. Burton!
What about Krull? Do you like the Beast?
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Heh, this reminds me of that big article Entertainment Weekly did on the movie, question and answer with Deep and Burton, then then in next weeks issue, they gave it a C-, lol.
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To hear you say that you hate 'Hook' puts the biggest smile on my face. The feelings are mutual, and I love Steven Spielberg. (I read somewhere that after it got made, Spielberg himself said that Hook was his least favorite movie of his own.)
I'm not sure if I hated Alice in Wonderful as much as you, but I can say that I had to remind myself that I watched it about three hours after going to see it. Very forgettable.
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Given you liking Beastmaster and such, did you like the Cannibal Holocaust-director Ruggero Deodato's Barbarians? It's by far the most hilarious one of these types of movies.
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To me it's like, why bother? They should've just taken the money that they were going to give to Tim Burton and just remaster the Svankmajer version into 3-D. That would be a fucked up thing to go see in a theater.
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Now we got to make this thing happen!
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FUUUUUUCK, the possibilities of that! I love Svankmajer's Alice.
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Wow my review was alot more positive. must be cause i was high. AlSO Hook fucking ruled. RUFIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
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So let me get this straight... you didn't want to see the movie, but you did go see it with like three other people and you're wondering why it's making money?
Yeah, hahaa, but in all honesty I've kinda fallen into that trap of seeing movies I didn't initially want to see after the movie's gotten some hype behind it. I mean I didn't want to see Titanic and I was able to avoid it for the longest time, but eventually I did go see it... in like May 1998. Yeah. Couldn't wait for like two weeks for the video.
And you know what... The Terminal is the worst Spielberg movie. And no, that's not even an opinion thing. It's a fact.
Also I have to request, again, that you (or The Snob) review Mahakaal.
Thanks!
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I really wish Tim Burton would stop making the same film over and over. He uses the same actors; the same dull, gray worlds; the same soundtrack; the same sardonic humor; the same bizarre settings...
Burton used to be a unique director; now he's pretty much down the drain due to his repetition.
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You pretty much confirmed everything I thought about this move and now do not need to see it.
As far as Alice in Wonderland goes... a good story that was gone to death, and the Disney version pretty much sucks.
It has birthed one and probably only one good thing: American McGee's Alice. If you like some horror, a little surrealism, and some great darkness then at least give the game a little look.
Alice ends up in an insane asylum and is pulled back into her own mind (Wonderland) and has to kill the Queen in order to gain her sanity back. Its a gruesome, twisted take on the story and, in my experience, had a longer lasting impact on my view of games and story than the original Alice in Wonderland.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_McGee%27s_Alice
This is what this movie should have been.
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It WAS originally American McGees Alice, but they didn't have the money to do so. Once Tim Burton and Disney took control, the movie went in a completely different direction.
Although IMDB still puts them separately, it seems the McGee version is all but washed up. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0466663/
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Hahaa, you guys paid to see that shit movie?! ) :
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I'd like to add, I loved 'Hook' AND 'Legend' as a kid...'Hook' hasn't held up very well over the years but I still think 'Legend' boasts some of the finest puppetry and make-up design ever...
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I love Legend to this day.
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Nice shirt. Legend sucks.
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Yep well that's another black ball for this movie, although you admit you are not the biggest fan of the fantasy genre altogether. Some of the movies you enumerated are just throwbacks for me. Yeah Hook or Legend are not the greatest movies but they are nostalgia trips. Neverending Story comes to mind as one of the staples of the genre.
I read somewhere that Spielberg was not that happy how Hook turned out, well the man renegaded Fandango and didn't want nothing to do with it. See that movie to make an opinion of how dyslexic Spielberg can be sometimes. Fandango for me is a masterpiece.
Never liked Harry Potter and the whinny kids and I saw them all and I can't say one of them is my favorite of all time. Lord of the Rings are epic movies, but I need pauses to even see one of them because of the dragging.
To resume, the fantasy genre is a tricky one but that could be said about the comic book movies too or horror. You have some gems but the shit you have to dig through it is awful.
Oh and I'll never fall for the 3D gimmick till they really make it mean to the story not just show birds fly.
As a side note, Brad you said your Youtube account has bee disabled again. You have only one video you never uploaded here, it's your Bruno Mattei tribute you done in 2007 so maybe you can upload it here if you ever find a version of it.
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Oh almost forgot as a second side note to my wall of text, I remembered when I fell asleep at the movies. At Spider-man 2 I drank allot of whine and I slept from the 3/4 of the movie till the end when I was waken by my friends. Also the whine made The Day After Tomorrow more bearable because I laughed through it till the end with another drinking buddy.
So next time Brad when you'll have to subject yourself to an awful movie, probably the New Twilight movie hide some drinky-drink so feel much better. Who knows you maybe lucky enough to go to sleep.
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Don´t you like Conan The Barbarian?
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I'm tired of depp's meth-addicted impressions. I Mean... the pirates, the chocolate factory, alice... it's always the same character. My god it was awful. Oh, and 9 euros is fucking larceny!
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I was going to see it purely for Mia Wasikowska and the visuals. Nobody ever talks about her, but I'm curious due to her mindblowing performance on In Treatment. And I imagine a 3D giant mushroom forest looking pretty neat.
Any comments on those two aspects?
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First of all
Gweedo, you think that Wonka and Jack were the same character? Um... no. But Hatter (who did not "make hats all the time", Brad)was the mutant, inbred, bastard child of the two.
Second, I am a fan of the books and the more I think about this movie the more pissed off I get. I knew going in that this was a "sequel" but I was hoping that Burton would do something interesting with it. He didn't.
Burton completely missed the point of the stories. They are not in the least "epic". They are supposed to be absurd, surrealistic musings on growing up.
And no, none of that prophecy armor and sword crap was in the books.
I really wish I hadn't spent the extra money on the 3D (let alone the movie) I don't even remember anything 3D about it. It added to nothing but the dust in my wallet.
I wish he had stuck to the original books. They are actually a perfect story for the old Burton to make. Unfortunately he has lost his Futterwackin mind!
And that dance! My god that was horrendous!
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It was, in the jabberwalky poem... that was a page long poem that was mostly nonsense words. But, it also referred to the person of prophecy as "son" and "he" so it is a bit off a stretch. Perhaps this would have been better if Burton just expanded on the one poem, as it is clearly a large part of this movie
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I had forgotten the poem mentioned the sword, but I was thinking of the "prophecy" aspect which isn't part of the poem. It is an interesting idea to use the poem as a prophecy, but it was horribly executed. Now that I remember the sword, I hate the movie a "little" less.
I believe hatter did refer to Alice as a "him" in the movie so I guess that was why.
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yeah heard clash of the titans is also comming in 3D lol they should just re-release comming at ya 3D that would even look better:p
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Yha, this movie isn't very good. Tim Burton can't remake movies for shit. He can remake musicals, and make his own ideas, but can't remake for shit.
The dancing bit at the end is really stupid. Grah anger.
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There is only one Alice in Wonderland and its not a kids movie, I'll give you a hing, it's a Musical and Alice is sucking some dick!
Oh and the Martin Short one is pretty awesome too
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DAMN! Sure could of used this review earlier before my wife drug me to this monstrosity. When the credits started to roll in the theater where I saw it, four teenage girls ran to the front of the theater and started doing that stupid dance! Is that crap some Youtube phenomenon? Beyond awful!
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I REALLY like your shirt
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I partly liked Alice in Wonderland, it's entertaining, but I would have like to seen more of Jabberwocky. Christopher Lee has so fantastic voice and yes he was wasted on this role. don't get me wrong, the voice fitted Jabberwocky but I may have be given more lines or no lines at all, it wasn't needed for him. and yeah what was with that dance, he said he would do it but I didn't think it be in this scene. it didn't fit in that scene. And did you feel the attention between the Hatter and Alice, I was waiting for them to kiss or some. also, Crispin Glover was far best in the movie. and I got no connection to the White Queen, she didn't do anything for me, I read that she was suppose to be as crazy as the Red but I honestly didn't get that feeling. there was a little when she was mixing that mixture but other than that she was dull.
now in the end, I liked your review, I don't know if you read your comments, still good job.
I didn't agree with every word but yeah.
Ohh and the music was just reuse of the nightmare before Christmas soundtrack, it was really annoying.
cheers from Iceland,
Gummi
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Honestly, Tim Burton and Alice in Wonderland are just two things that could never go together. I mean, this was almost as bad an idea as letting him make that Planet of the Apes film.
But anyway, so you don't like fantasy epics? Well, at least tell me you like the best one in the genre, Hawk the Slayer!
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Speaking of Terry Gilliam and the Jabberwocky, his film Jabberwocky I liked a lot. HIGHLY underrated, that one.
And I like Hook.
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I figured the 3D was a "gimmick". Everyone's jumping on the bandwagon.
I'll be renting this, but just because I like Burton's style. I've never found his movies to have any "substance"... They're art in motion, not stories.
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even so , art should have a purpose , not just to be artsy for the hell of it.
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I completely agree in terms of the wasting of Glover & Lee.
Though I think Helena Bonham Carter did a great job as the Red Queen , & Paul Whitehouse & Barbara Winsor were not too bad voice actors.
The Dance , I completely agree with you on , I though the ending wasn't going TOO bad but then Depp went & did that & my heart sunk to my stomach!
Also another personal gripe is the caterpillar ! I don't know if you know this , but in the original cartoon , he is alot better too watch & his voice was great he would say "whooooooo are youuuuuu" sounds odd I know but as a kid I loved it , in this film no , he just rushes it, he doesn't even say it as you would he actually rushes asif he's TRYING to piss me off.
ughh such a below par film , I really do wish that Burton would stop remaking/re-in-visioning & stop casing Depp in a casting role (I didn't like Chocolate Factory either)
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I work at a movie theatre. we have this in 2D and 3D. I took my girlfriend to see it for free opening weekend and neither of us liked it that much and the 3D gave us both headaches. The next time i worked i peeked into the 2D version and it is much better looking and less headachey. IMO it wasn't worth the price of admission, and i got it for free. Also, i know you don't care, but Alice wasn't doing the futterwacken at the end. she was showing off her Stocking or whatever they were because her mom was giving her shit over them in the beginning. at least that what i got out of it, since she lifted up her skirt and all. I've had to watch the ending like 5 times cleaning the theatres. The movie had its moments, but they were too few and not good enough to change my opinion.
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No, she was in fact doing a humanly possible version of the futterwacken.
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I'm a fan of Tim Burton, Terry Gilliam as well as the wonderfully creepy and surreal computer game "American McGee's Alice" and I've been looking forward to Burton's "Alice" adaptation for quite a while now. Still, I'm questioning whether or not I should see this film. Even though a movie adaptation of "American McGee's Alice" could have a masterpiece of the film and the game was already quite "Burtonesque" on its own, Burton just had to sell his soul to Disney and deliver a mediocre piece of $@%µ it seems judging by all the reviews I've seen and read. It almost seems betrayal to waste my money on the worst film of what used to be one of my favorite directors. Why oh why did you screw this up, Tim? Why disappoint your fans with this useless waste of celluloid? Is this what Tim Burton films are going to be like in the future? Oh God, please spare us....
But then again... To really judge the film I should actually see it myself. Maybe I'll wait for a download or something....
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Hey Brad, You know how much I like Tim Burton, and I haven't disliked one of his movies yet...well, I didn't dislike this one either. I definitely didn't love it, but it worked for me. I'm also a huge fan of the books and most movie versions of it. I even taught the books to my students one year. I like Carroll's nonsense and satire. I thought this was an okay idea for a sequel, but then again I caught a lot of the little references to the books that a non-fan wouldn't get. I even saw a momerath run across the screen at one point. You, of course, have no clue what that is though.
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Seconded. Indian Nightmare on Elm Street is one the Snob should totally review! Also, "Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland" is really "Tim Burton's Alice Fan Fiction" When are people going to realize he keeps selling us the same movie?
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Indian Nightmare on Elm Street is better known as Mahakal (the Monster).
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Hmm, I've never heard of Terry Jilliam. Terry Gilliam is a pretty good director though, lol.
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There wasn't even a "fudderwacken" in the book. Seems like Burton just masturbated all over the film.
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has anyone seen that SiFi channel miniseries "Alice"? i wonder if it's actually better than Burton's AIW?
do it Brad! =)
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Well, I must say I am surpised you saw this as I assumed you didnt like this genre (as you confirmed unneedly in the review).
I'm a huge fan of Alice, and by the way I dont do any of those things you said in the review (hang in coffee shops? =P really, come on) but I've loved Alice since I read the book as a kid. I have every adaption to film (and not all are good, even to an Alice fan. Im sure others would agree). That being said I would probably be angry if it was any other adaptation (except the Kate Beckinsale version, although acting wise it's far better im sure) I would probably have a ton of disagreements.
I will admit I dont intend to see this in theatre, havent since the first trailer. As you said, it looks horrible. For me its the CGI. I cant get over how BAD it looks. That and it looks like a huge rip off of American McGees Alice.
Anyway, despite the fact that I love Alice in most all its adaptations I'm sure this will be one of the worst versions and only reason I will have to get it on DVD is because I collect every version of this story adapted to film (Weirdest being the one by Neco z Alenky; Brad would hate it for sure. Surrealism to the extreme which I personally love).
So anyway, while I disagree with you on the genre its not something I'm particularly angry about.
I'd get back to you on if anything you said was wrong, but you dont care and I'd only do it out of interest not because it really matters. While I was hoping he'd (Tim Burton) redeem his quality as a director again after the trash that was Charlie and the Choclate factory it sounds like he made something even worse.
Great. I wish Tim Burton would stop trashing literature that I love.
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I'm glad to hear you like Disney's 'Pinnochio' and 'Dumbo' even though they are criticized as being too scary and racist by todays PC crowd.
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Never had any intention to see this film. Have even less intention to after watching this review. I hated "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and the trailers for this film reminded me of that piece of shit way too much for my liking. I think "Sweeney Todd" will probably be the last good Burton film ever, what with Burton planning on doing a Maleficent film next...
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Return to Oz was legit. Crispin Glover rules. Less Alice in Wonderland, more New World Video shirt.
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That dance was so stupid, your bit about it was hilarious. "He could've said at the end he'd take a shit and then take a shit, but it's still shit!" Visually I liked the movie (only saw the 2d), but character-wise it just lacked for me. This review was good though.
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Never had any intention of seeing this, probably never will. Your review pretty much nailed in the final coffin of my opinion of the fucking thing.
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If you didn't have the intention to watch the movie maybe you shouldn't have.
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I totally agree with comment on the dark and murky 3D. The opening scenes are in a dusty Victorian study and I whipped off my glasses in seconds because I couldn't see a damn thing, and spent the rest of the movie watching it in blurry, but beautifully bright 2D. I slid them back on now and again and was amazed at how "shit brown" everything looked - one moment, there was bright green grass, next moment it looked liked the garden had died.
Here's hoping for a Network-style future where everybody gets mad as hell at what their missing out on and takes off and snap their 3D glasses.
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Unfortunately, my wife is forcing me to see this with her. Having grown up reading Lewis Carroll's dark and grotesque "Alice" allegories, the thought of his ideas being transformed into a tween-friendly video game tie-in with slick CGI, presided over by the rapidly deteriorating Tim Burton, is almost heartbreaking.
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Dude, you totally sounded like Pickles from Metalocalypse when you did that voice.
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What happens when your the one person that hates it and everyone in the group loves it? That's what i had to endure, i did end up sleeping in the film right after marketing device of the film showed up (Johnny Deep).
I payed attention of all of 1 minute when Alan Rickman voiced the caterpillar and then just noticed how bad the CGI was. Never mine the bad 3D this movie had terrible fucking CGI....HOW DO YOU FUCK UP CGI THESE DAYS.
I don't remember anything else from the fucking movie and glad i didn't see the stupid dance. I really have been pissed off at Tim Burton for creating a generation of goth guffy little fucking teenagers that don't know shit. But really this movie tops it off as the one thing that above all else is going to make me stop watching his films. I liked Big Fish but really fuck his style of film making. Just a way for Hot Topic to stay in business at this point.
This is worse then that fucking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Movie. And i didn't even see that in theaters I saw the shortened version on TV though i cant remember the channel.
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nice review. [in my opinion charlie and the chocolate factory is the worse burton movie] sucks you saw it in 3-d, i didn't, it seemed rather pointless to me. i was looking forward to the movie for two years. [since it combined a lot of my favourite things] however it wasn't that good. i think it could have been a lot better if it wasn't disney, the jabberwocky and cheshire cat were really well done compared to the actual pictures from the book.
other than that, the cg was soul crushing. the flutterwacken was the dumbest thing, it was stupid. and alice was so lifeless through the whole movie. and there was no fucking payoff the the jabberwocky, it pissed me off, like you said, awesome voice actor, one fucking line, and again, disney, so the fight couldn't be bloody.
i did like the movie though, it was ok, it wasn't awesome or terrible to me it was alright. i doubt i'll buy it... although i've gotten cheshire cat poster and shirt, but i'm a fan of the cheshire cat from my childhood.
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This is the first time I see you honestly upset by reviewing a movie.
Normally you are angry, or enranged, r you just can´t believe what you are aseing, but are really sad and upset about this one.
It´s heartbroken
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Thanks 4 the heads up, i was thinking about going to see this tripping balls, but now i think if i did that i might set the theatre on fire then rip my eyes out. I think Johnny Depp has become kind of a gimmick, he just acts silly instead of the brilliance he showed in movies like fear & loathing. I hated charlie & the chocalate factory. Public Enimies was good, though.
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Hey, I liked Hook!
But yeah, I did not give a shit about this at all, hence why I refuse to see it. I'm not a huge fan of the story or the Disney cartoon. Tim Burton hasn't been relevant for a good 10 years. I'm pretty disinterested in fantasy myself. I'm not a girl and/or an art student and/or a pothead so this movie doesn't appeal to me at all. So in my eyes, this really should've been titled "Tim Burton's Let's Make Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter Look Weird Part 3".
And why the fuck does Helena Bonham Carter have the NBA Jam Big Head Cheat activated?
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I'm a pretty big fan of the book(s), the Disney movie, that REALLY weird Russian version, and American McGee's rather twisted take in video game form, so I was really looking forward to this movie...
And I felt your pain, if not more so because I actually refrained myself from reading about it or watching previews because I had this idiotic hope that Tim Burton could pull it off, so I actually had high hopes and as an actual fan of the story, I was attempting to refrain from bashing my skull in to the seat in front of me because it had someone in it. My husband was lucky, at least he got to bash his head in because no one was in front of his seat. It looked a lot more entertaining than this film. I also noticed the audience was either
A) Goths that refuse to give Henry Selick credit for directing Nightmare Before Christmas and wearing nothing but Jack Skellington material or
From the standpoint of a fan of Burton, Depp, AND Alice in Wonderland I wanted to burn the screen down. Here's a better title: "Alice in the generic Lord of the Rings Rip off"
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Oh thank god!! I thought i was the only one who didn't like this movie. Personally i have never been a big fan of Tim Burton i like some of his movies but they all are basically the same movie.
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The reason this movie keeps making money is because of fanboys who will go to anything that shows Johnny Depp being blown by Tim Burton. If Hot Topic endorses it....they eat it the fuck up.
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I have to disagree with you on HOOK, while I admit its not Spielberg's best movie I have to say that the worst Spielberg movie of all time is either MINORITY REPORT or WAR OF THE WORLDS.
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In my opinion, those are actually two of Spielberg's best :-p
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Thank you, Brad. This film was an abortion from beginning to end. I've never been so correct about a film based on a trailer in my life. I'm actually a big fan of the Alice books, and why this isn't just a film adaptation of Through The Looking Glass is beyond me. I suppose it's meant to take place after that, even still, it makes zero contextual sense. The mad hatter was indeed quite mad and incapable of any sort of proper social reasoning, he's basically stuck in a loop, and he hates Alice for taking up a seat temporarily at his table. They never got along in the books and he was a minor character at best. This fixation on making the Mad Hatter significant in Alice films is perplexing to me. How about the White Knight instead? Who actually formed a bond with Alice in Through The Looking Glass, was charming, and provided basically her only true friend in Wonderland. Oh, what's that? He's not in the film and Alice essentially IS the White Knight here? It's such a bastardization of the plot and themes it's not even funny. Wonderland (Excuse me, "Underland") is a story of nonsense, scattered morals and making sense of that which no sense can be made of. I'm a fan of many film adaptations of Alice, namely Jan Svankmajer's, but this just shat all over the entire point of Lewis's classic. Another pet peeve: it's the Jabberwock, not the Jabberwocky. Jabberwocky is the name of the poem featuring the Jabberwock; a nonsense word dedicated to the act of doing what is done in the poem. (Of debatable meaning, though I happen to think Lewis's intentions somewhat clear as not killing something just because it looks evil.) The worst part is that the hatter—who never mentioned the poem in Lewis's fiction, nor was the Jabberwock actually ever in it—recites the line "The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame" etc, in the film. Why, movie? Why? *Chugs scotch and vigorously slashes thigh with a straight razor*
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Believe me, this movie had nothing to do with the book. I've read the book. I wasn't a huge fan of it but even people I know who were huge Alice fans hated this. Actually they hated this even more. This one friend of mine was literally raging the whole evening after seeing it, for the fucking movie raping her childhood favourite.
There's just NO excuse for this crap. None. It's like a bad Narnia and Narnia was already bad as it was.
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I liked the movie, but I agree that the futterwaken scene was pointless and horrible.
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Oh I hated this movie. Just the fact that a great actor like Johnny Depp accually plays in it makes me sick! and the one playing Alice was amazing in the series In Treatment! So how the fuck could this happen? and oh, Tim Burton? I refuse to believe that he did this movie by free will, someone had to have held a gun to his head through the whole fucking thing...
Not the fact that I watched this at 8 in the morning after a sleepless night, just out of pure boredome may not have given me the best impression. But seriously, I feelt like I was on acid the whole fucking time! I've never been on acid, but I immagine that's how it would feel like, only more enjoyable! After seeing this, I became a religious man. I was just praying to god that Johnny Depp and Tim Burton wouldn't go and kill themselves after the excruciating embaracement of being tied to this piece of fucking shit of a movie for all eternity! The best thing about this fucking movie was when it ended, so I could delete every trace from my harddrive, so that it wouldn't break the fuck down or commit suicide along with Tim and Johnny. I have only one thing to say to this disgrace of a movie; Fuck you up the ass.
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I almost wanted to kill you when you said you didnt like lord of the rings
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Not gonna lie: My primary reason for wanting to see this movie was that Stephen Fry was the Cheshire Cat. That's pretty much it, really.
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When I went to see this movie on opening day and their was fucking Alice and Wonderland cosplayers in the theater and it scared the shit out of me. But I fell asleep during the film and this never happens.
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I'm a huge fan of the Alice in Wonderland book, and I still hated the movie.
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I said the same thing about Christopher Lee as the Jabberwocky! That was a fucking waste! If you're going to put Christopher Lee in your film, then give him more fucking lines! In fact, if you're making a film starring Christopher Lee as a giant fucking dragon, and he isn't a major character, you're doing it wrong, cos that's fucking awesome!
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I like the original story of Alice in Wonderland. It makes me sad that they turned it into a LSD hot topic goth story.
I miss those days when it was seen as a nice story for children.
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