Alien 2: On Earth
The Italians beat us to the sequel punch once more!
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Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
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SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: Alien 2: On Earth
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda, supporting comment, blah, blah, reference to TGWTG.
That movie looks awful, haha. The opening logo thing was the best part.
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Wow, just fucking wow. You have to try to suck that hard!
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oh boy
Alien 2: Sulla Terra
been wondering when you were going to tackle it, but now I don't need to wonder any more
anyways, good review, but I wonder if you'll also tackle the far superior (but also fairly wonky, but not as horrendous) Contamination (Aka Alien Contamination and Toxic Spaw)
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Another Great CS video.
Geezus, Oliver Onions provided the soundtrack for TONS of movies, according to Wiki. Scary thought...
I loved the JJ Jimmy Walker line! Lol
Get a hair cut.
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hes actually damn good at what he does he wrote the music for almost all of the Bud Spencer & Terence Hill movies
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Wait.. so we never even get to see the Alien?
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Great review. Terrible movie. Bruno Mattei's T2 is at least a fun movie to watch and riff on with friends, this one looked kinda dull in a very Stewardesses 3D kinda way.
Noticed two things:
Recently you've been using sound cues to better effect (ala the Jeopardy theme). Keep it up.
Also, is it just me, or did you position the camera a tad higher up when filming yourself?
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LOL, yea, I noticed the angle myself. Not a big deal, but still kinda different.
(CS secret: Brad HATES to use tripods unless he absolutely must. He just recently bought one, but before he did he would place the camera on a stool. That's how we get the iconic angle that we're used to. I guess the stool was unavailable or he decided to break out the tripod.)
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And here I was thinking it was a reference to Ozu or something. haha.
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It's always nice when I refresh the page and new material pops up =) Great review as always!
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Oh god, the cinema snob just admitted that one of the movies he's reviewed is good. Although in hindsight this movie makes Bruno Mattei's Terminator 2 look like a cinematic masterpeice.
Keep up the good work
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OMFG THIS MOVIE LOOKS AS BAD AS THE 'MOVIES' THAT THEY POST OVER AT TGWTG.
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But not nearly as bad as your stupid, fucking, worthless comment.
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BLAH BLAH BLAH, PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES...
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I wasn't aware TGWTG posted full length movies regularly...(aside from Kickassia)
If you don't like TGWTG, fair enough, but simply calling it bad isn't really constructive criticism, plus this movie in question is way way WAY below the reviews and other material on TGWTG, since in most cases they bother to edit videos, they put EFFORT into them, and in some cases they manage better special effects. While I understand TGWTG isn't to everyone's taste, they definitely make much better material than this appallingly bad movie.
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POD PEOPLE! *sigh* The MST3K that kick started my love of mocking bad movies. I still have that and Cave Dwellers on VHS! Memories...
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I'm really glad you're becoming one of the more popular reviewers on TGWTG! I hope this encourages you to continue what you're doing
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Wait, Oliver Onions? That's the same guys that performed the theme song for Yor: Hunter from the Future! Small world, I guess.
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Awesome video, I wanted to see this movie get reviewed for a while now.
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Note to self: Never eat while watching a Cinema Snob episode. Also that title card is sweet. Would make H. R. Giger jealous.
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Way to go. I was having cereal while watching this, and I almost ruined my screen when he talked about the ending.
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Nice review!
Oliver Onions are kinda famous in Germany, at least with fans of the italian action-comedy cult duo Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill for the catchy tunes they provided. I would recommend the movies but the thing is that the german dub makes them become the comedy gold they are. i would argue the Studio invented the rifftrack
They did the same trick with the TV series The Persuaders with Tony Curtis and Roger Moore. In USA and UK almost forgotten, they remain a cult classic with german fans because the random dialog made it hilarious
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"Over the line!" LOL! I almost pissed my pants!
I saw "Alien Terror" a couple of months ago and had the same thought at this moment in the movie.
Great Review.
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Music by Oliver Onions? How could they?! Oliver Onions made the great music for the Spencer/Hill movies. Damn you italians! *lol*
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Snob in the morning - a great way to start the day! You've had a strange effect on my Brad. Now when I make my weekly rounds at the local 2nd hand DVD store (here in Dayton called Buybacks) I keep an eye out for cheaply made exploitation flicks. I just paid $10 for a triple feature about Amazons. I'm a sucker for Indian Jones-esque "Lost World" type movies like She or King Solomon's Mines or Lost World or Island at the Top of the World or films that try to be like that. Have a great day Bradster. BTW, what changes has married life had on you so far?
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This proves it: we have the same taste in movies!
Great review!
- TGWD
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Haha awesome
check out the Carnosaur series and silent night deadky night 2 and of course the shark attack films
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I'd say this looks to be one of the weak Alien cash-ins and I generally dig these kind of films. I'll just stick with stuff like Creature, Galaxy of Terror, and Forbidden World for those.
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Didn't know Galaxy of Terror was a movie. To the best of my knowledge it was a high class bar in the mountain town of Greenvale.
Now I kinda want to see it.
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Hmm...that certainly brings back some memories, doesn't it, Zach?
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oh for christ's sake that wasn't a god damn corvette, it was a camaro z28!
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i was just gonna say. and it was NICCCCE.
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@ CrinsonDusk
Thanks for the kind words about my title card; though I can never be as awesome as H. R. Giger, he's a god and my favourite artist.
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I agree, your title cards have been a great addition.
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Hey Brad! Longtime fan, first time commenter. I also own this one, speaking of the Italian Mad Max rips, PLEASE for the love of GODZILLA please do a snob video on Joe D'amato's 1982 classic 2020 Texas Gladiators( finally lucked out and found it on the interwebs)
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Video Tape Centre was a UK VHS distributor, who released Alien 2 (as Alien Terror) back during the "Video Nasty" era of the early 8os.
The film was actually a rip off of a couple of Quatermass films, namely "Quatermass 2 : Enemy from Space" and "Quatermass Experiment".
Anyway, excellent review. This film is a guilty pleasure of mine and makes an excellent companion piece to "Contamination".
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I had to pause the video to comment on this one scene. The part where you complained about a character being dubbed over in the shop reminded me way too much of the flower shop scene from The Room. Was Tommy Wiseau trying to pay homage to this movie by duplicating/ripping off a scene or is this just a bad movie coincidence?
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Excellent review. Several excellent lines. My favourites being the joke about reading the script, the stock footage, Oliver Onions being a Goblin cover band, 'Does this look like the 22nd fucking century to you?' and of course Bruno Mattei's 'Terminator 2'
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Oh snap! Blah blah blah. Ha ha
Mommie! Mommie look! When children use helium.
Thank goodness the little boy from SHOCK didnt use that voice when he said, "Momma I have to kill you".
Praise The Cinema Snob for once more delivering us from the horrors of SEQUALPLOITATION! TION! TION! TION!
Oh the sin of it all!
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Of all the Alien rip offs, I'd like to see you take on Xtro 2. The first Xtro would be a nice one for you to do also. Xtro 3 is the fucking worst, and I think it's a rip off of Predator. So yeah, do the Xtro series.
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Didn't one of the kids on the beach get her face ripped off? I can remember the good old days when you could see this on the USA Network.
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These kinds of films are the main reason I like Descent 2. Killer trogs, aliens and horror generally are great when they are great. But you want more of the same. You should expect sequels and ripoffs to be a bit shoddy and be pleased if they're even watchable. That's how you find the gems, horror and exploitation are bulk buy genres.
Having said that, Alien 2 isn't very good or that interesting, but Xtro and the Being are pretty entertaining.
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It's okay. It's still better than "MANOS": the Hands of Fate. Everything is better than MANOS.
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I loved your comic book guy-esque voice/comment at the end. For some reason this review made me think of "Feeders" even the film seems to be nothing like that one.
Oh, and great catch on the connection to "Pod People." I love any excuse to use "It stinks!"
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Nice to see a review of this. I'm a huge fan of Italo horror and exploitation films, so this is something I hold pretty dear to me. Contamination obviously tops it, but I find this really entertaining. From the nonsensical 'all you dream about are monsters' line to the face-burster. It's a very amusing picture.
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Indian cinema does ripoff films a lot too. I don't know that much about them.
Mahakaal: The Monster (1993), is one I've seen clips of and the poster is great.
All I'll say is 1-2 Mahakaal's coming for you.
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When the rat flew at the girl and attacked her, did anyone else think of 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail'?
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Verily tis the rabbit in rodent attire so fair.
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http://www.oliveronions.com/
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Jeez, another unofficial Italian sequel? How many of these are there? I've seen Terminator 2, Great White(sometimes called Jaws 3), Jaws 5 and now Alien 2....Its kind scary.
Anyway, great review. loved the Descent 2 comments.
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Well don't forget the La Casa/Ghosthouse films which are unofficial Evil Dead sequels,the Zombi series of course needs mention, and then there's Pod People which has the alternate title of Return of E.T.
Funny thing about Pod People is that I remember a lot reviewers on IMDB actually believed that Speilberg had Juan Piquer Simon make a sequel to E.T just because of that alternate title. Yeah and I guess James Cameron commissioned Bruno Mattei to do Terminator 2 before James did his own T2.
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Oh, thank god -- I caught this movie on TV at some point in the mid-80s. For 20 year I've been wondering what the hell it was, but only now, FINALLY, do I get to find out and, subsequently, forget about it forever. Thank you, Snob, for returning those neurons to my brain!
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Brad if you ever find pic of this alien could you post it on the website? If not then thats cool
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I actually showed as much of the alien that you see. It doesn't really show anything else of it.
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Wow....that must have been one of the most shitty movies you reviewed so far....seriously...some of the shot on shiteo was better....
Good job Brad.
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Still, it looks better than Alien: Resurrection.
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Love your video as always but I have to say the Cop Car was a Firebird not a Corvette, sorry I couldn't let that go.
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Ha!
The actor playing the guy with Rick's voice is actually Michele Soavi, director of Stagefright, The Church, The Sect and Dellamorte Dellamore.
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Thank you! I was just about to point that out. That's also him in the intestines-spewing scene from "The Gates of Hell" aka "City of the Living Dead".
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"Stagefright" is one of my favorite slasher movies. I think the first time I saw him in a movie as an actor it was "Caligula: The Untold Story."
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It looks as if this movie could easily be compared to Contamination, but at least Contamination had a kick-ass Goblin soundtrack.
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This reminds me of another film I saw ages ago on the scifi channel, about an alien "macro virus" that infects a spanish town, first making them crazy and giving them nosebleeds, then bursting from their bodies as spider-like meat monsters. The last time I thought about it was Resident Evil 4, which seemed to feel a *lot* like it. There's even a menacing "truck driver" like that one cutscene where you're fleeing from one.
Thing is, I can't find the name of it since then. Heck, I'd like to find the damn thing to see if it was as 'tolerable' as I remember...any ideas?
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It's Alien Predators.
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What is with so many no-budget exploitation and horror that you review containing long sequences of characters just putzing around doing nothing with nothing happening? This, Porno Holocaust, Death Nurse 1 and 2, Las Vegas Bloodbath, and I'm sure I'm forgetting plenty of others. Is this some feeble attempt at "artistic" credibility or something?
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The awkward title sequence reminded me a lot of 'Amityville 1992: It's About Time.' The DVD version shows the title as
'Amityville
It's About Time.'
It's like 'We're sorry our movie it's super-dated- look somewhere else.'
I echo the earlier sentiments: you need to Contamination. I'd love to see your take on the infamous 'bathroom scene' and the whole idea of this being 'Luigi Cozzi's big-budget film.'
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Is that really the music from DeepThroat's credit sequence? My, iwhat a light, airy, happy tune for a movie about throat fucking!
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Unless I missed it, no one has said anything about the awesome "The Big Lebowski" references. Never again will I go bowling without thinking "an alien's anus may be watching me.". It's a good thing I don't bowl very often.
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That's it! For a while now I've been dissapointed over the continuity gaffs regarding the distinct differences in the personalities of Brad and the Cinema Snob. Now I know the truth!
The Cinema Snob is the "Hyde" to Brad Jones's "Jackyll"!
Makes sense, doesn't it? Why else does the Cinema Snob know all about Brad's personal movie reviews? Why else was the Snob so nice to Phelous, after having tricked him into suicide? Why else does the Cinema Snob wear Brad's wedding ring?
-It's because, through some unknown means, Brad Jones periodically transforms into...The Cinema Snob, a monster so hate filled, so anti-niceness, that it wastes Brad's precious time reviewing awful campy movies for its own bemusement.
--Proof, you ask? Watch this review. What the Snob says at the end shows that even in this transformed state, there is still remnants of the man who once was...
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Here's a question to Brad or anyone who might know...
First a little backstory... When I was a kid in the early 90s, there was always some remakesploitation and sequelspoitation to be found in either the local video store or someone's parents or brother or friend had some in their collection. And we were like eight at the time, so a lot of the time we didn't know better... and a lot of the time we assosiated these movies to be "unofficial official sequels". Kinda like Halloween III or something - a part of the series, but not. I'd seen some of these movies and even back then I kinda knew they weren't real sequels, but a lot of my friends insisted that they were and when you have two morons telling you that "yes, this really IS Indiana Jones 4" then I'm outnumbered and the morons win. Then there were these wild rumors about these sequels... like someone had seen one or someone's big brother had and he told all these stories about it. And it wasn't just these "bizarre" movies - I remember when we were kids and no one had actually seen the Texas Chain Saw Massacre yet, but everybody KNEW that the movie was banned in a lot of country's 'cos of a graphic scene where the killer actually falls on the chainsaw. So these rumors about unseen movies became urban legends. And one popular urban legend story was about an Alien sequel. Thinking back on it, it might have been sequelspoiltation or remakespoitation or just a rip off... if the movie ever excisted at all. But the bizarre urban legend going around when I was a kid was that there was an Alien movie, where the creature did indeed com from inside you, but there wasn't any facegurrer action going on, no, the "alien baby" got inside you when an adult alien had sex with you. And there was a scene where an alien had sex with some chick. And apparently it wasn't porn, so it was like super classy 80s video nasty Joe Eszterhas type sex.
Anyone have any idea what movie this might be? Does a movie like this excist or is this just some rumor that took off, becoming an urban legend...?
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Jyri the movie your describing sounds alot like GALAXY OF TERROR which definitely looks ALIEN inspired and theres a scene where one of the female space travelers gets raped by the alien. Here is the trailer of the movie on Youtube and check out the extremely funny scene with Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) screaming like a b*tch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxvajOyAaBo
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Thank you!
And Robert Englund is in it? Kinda feels like it was close all along or something...
But yeah, for the last couple of decades I've been wondering if an alien ripoff really excists where the alien has sex with some female. And there it is. I feel like Sean Connery in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade.
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Yes Mr.Englund is in it and believe it or not Mr.Sid Haig Captain Spaulding himself from THE DEVIL'S REJECTS is in this one aswell.
I can understand your Holy Grail mood. I was looking for ages for this movie aswell after seeing it in a newspaper on its theatre release date and then hearing from my school friend the crazy sh*t he saw of a woman being raped by a giant wormlike alien.
Finally got a copy from a friend who has a knack for finding the impossible who ordered it for me online i think on one of those Ebay one week auction thingies. Your welcome Jyri.
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You need to review this c-rated movie called "Blood and Sex Nightmare" its 58 minutes long, and looks like a 10 year old shot it. You'll get a good laugh, trust me.
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BRAD JONES IS THE MAN, I NEVER FEEL DISAPOINTED WITH THE NATURE OF HIS REVIEWS. WHEN I SAW THE TITLE OF THIS REVIEW I THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT "OH NO HE IS GOING TO BASH A GOOD MOVIE", BUT THANKS HE DID NOT, THIS GUYS THAT BASH GOOD MOVIES, LIKE NOSTALGIA CRITIC USES TO DO, LOSE A LOT OF CREDIBILITY.
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Does he lose as much credibility as someone who can't turn off the caps lock, and generally just rapes english grammar?
Jesus my eyes are bleeding.
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Oh man... This VCR was laying around in the the second hand movie store for so very long, sticking out with it's beat up unclassy cover. It really took me a long time before I summoned up the curage to give it a shot. Despice taking it's sweet time, it had some decent gore (like the Scanners head explosion), and the last chase view (the one reffered to as ass-cam) was a nice idea. And most of all, the delightfully cheesy "YOU MAY BE NEXT" title card made it well worth the watch through.
Great and funny review!
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If I'm in the mood for an Aliens knockoff, I'll stick with Xtro 2, thank you very much.
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And that's why I'm proud to be Italian.XD
Great review, Brad (well, each and every of your reviews is great, so probably this comment is useless and redundant... never mind)! Keep up the good work.
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Brad is there any movie you have reviewed for The Snob that you thought wasn't really that bad? But you know could have been way better. Let me rephrase that had an interesting premise but failed in execution.
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Okay, while i was watching i had a moment of stark... something. I was like, holy crap, that looks so familiar. In the scenes where they show a blue bridge in the background, that's the Coronado bay bridge. The dirt lot they're walking around on is now a bunch of condos. but In one angle, you can see a boat in the background. That was the boat my mother lived on after she abandoned our family. I don't care if no one believes me. I'm just a little freaked out.
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Oliver Onions? Isn't that the guy who wrote the theme song from Yor: Hunter From the Future?
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Duo, and yes, they are the same.
They're not that bad, really. Their tunes in this, flick, do sound an awful lot like Goblin (Suspiria, Tenebrae, Profondo Rosso, etc)
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Great review, I love you cinema snob! Any chance of reviewing Camp Blood or Camp Blood 2?? Keep it up. Greetings from Dublin Ireland.
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Oh and Oliver Onions was an English writer born in 1873
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BRAD!. I just realized, we need another installment of Cinema Snob Mysteries.
Another awesome snob video, but that goes without saying really.
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As an Italian (though I live in the UK), I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of these exploitation knock-offs
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This review was one out of two reviews I could not bare myself to watch, from end to another.
The "performance of the Cinema Snob" is good and is not by any means the reason why. This movie for some reason really grind my gears.
The other review i was unable to finish was Drop Dead Fred.
However, thanks for a great performance ...atleast for the parts i was able to watch!
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Come on, doesn't anyone recognizes who the Oliver Onions are!?
Guido & Maurizio De Angelis anyone?
Well, the thing is that this band Kick-ass. Have you ever wondered why the Yor theme song is so damn catchy or why those bruno mataei movies always have those killer soundtracks?
They are the masters of the synth ,and the country-esque soundtracks. Their scores for Italian B-movies are better than anything hans zimmer has done with modern blockbusters.
You know what's the best part is. They also make up for really good rock band.
Their scores are the only redeming aspect of the italian b-movies. Check them out...
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The ending of the movie reminded me of Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell, which I watched on Turner Classic Movies a year or two ago.
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"What the fuck kind of voice is that?!!!" LOL....awesome!
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While we are on the subject of alien knockoffs, you should review Inseminoid! Its even more annoying than the screaming in Alucarda! It comes in a boxset that includes Horror Hospital (which is also worthy of a review) and 2 other british "gems".
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Yeah, Inseminoid is utter garbage
one of the crappier Alien rip-offs ever made
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Great timing and usage of the Jeopardy and the BL cut scenes. These episodes just get better and better.
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PLEASE TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND A COPY OF THIS
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The end part with the couple walking around the empty buildings reminded me of Alone In The Dark but I don't think even Uwe Boll would rip this pile of crap off.
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I'm glad I didn't bother going into ripoff sequels when I was studying Ridley Scott for film studies.
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I'm glad I didn't bother going into ripoff sequels when I was studying Ridley Scott for film studies.
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Hey guys that looks like a camel lol
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this cartoon really resembles you, its quite nice and funny at the same time.
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do such things happen in real life??????
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That's a Camaro mate, not a Corvette. :V
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Oliver Onions I'm half expecting Yor:Hunter from the futures theme song to kick in.
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Just so you guys know, a company called Midnight Legacy is releasing this film onto Blu Ray soon.
http://www.midnight-legacy.com/
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Sweet film, got an old VHS tape of this which is cut, so i may just buy it blu-ray.
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Was that italian director Michele Soavi? The guy who picks up the "alien rock", I am pretty sure that is the guy who directed "Dellamorte Dellamore" and "The Sect". He also played in the scene in "City of the Living Dead" that was featured in the review.
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Hi!
There are a few questions on your site.
How can I contact the administration?
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I AM DEPRESSED AND THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBED ME CINEMA SNOB AND THE VIDEO WONT PLAY ARGH!!!!!!
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Show TV'nin yeni dizisi Eve Düşen Yıldırım'da Murat Han,Türkiye Güzeli Gizem Karaca, Mehmet Minciözlü, Şencan Güleryüz, Ergun Uçucu, Suzan Aksoy ve Seda Akman kamera karşısına geçiyor.
Dizide babası ölen güzel bir genç kızın hiç tanımadığı amcasının evine yerleşmesiyle başlayan olaylar anlatılıyor.
Murat Han, 2011 Türkiye 2. Güzeli Gizem Karaca, Mehmet Minciözlü, Ergun Uçucu, Suzan Aksoy, Şencan Güleryüz ve Seda Akman'ın başrollerini paylaştığı Eve Düşen Yıldırım, ekranlara bomba gibi düşecek. Dizide Gizem Karaca, Muazzez adlı güzel bir genç kızı canlandıracak. Babası öldükten sonra amcasının evine yerleşen Muazzez, amcasının oğulları Namık ve Sait'i farkında olmadan kendisine aşık edecek.
Dizide Namık; Murat Han, Seda Akman ise Namık'ın titiz, hamarat eşi Şayeste rolünde.
Annesi Cuma namazı'na katılmasını söylemesine rağmen Mustafa, Annesini odadan kovdu. Kim araya girmeye çalışsada Mustafa gelmeyeceğini tekrar tekrar söyledi. En sonunda pargalı olaya müdahil oldu ve Cuma namazına başlamadan önce mustafa'nın odasına gelerek gelmesini söyledi ama Şehzade gelmeyeceğini tekrar tekrar söyledi. Dizi izle, online canlı, full HD dizi izlemek için bizi takip edin. Dizi izle. Bu kadar dizi yeter, şimdi birazda oyun oynayalım, en kaliteli, yeni, güncel flash oyunları zevkle oynayabileceğiniz sitemiz oyun oyna'da sizleri ağırlımaktan mutluluk duyarız.Med Yapım'ın yapımcılığını üstlendiği, senaryosunu Meryem Gül'ün kaleme aldığı, Bahadır Er'in yönettiği dizi, 9 Mart Cuma Show TV ekranlarında olacak! Eve Düşen Yıldırım izle
Dizide Gizem Karaca, Muazzez adlı güzel bir genç kızı canlandıracak. Babası öldükten sonra amcasının evine yerleşen Muazzez, amcasının oğulları Namık ve Sait'i farkında olmadan kendisine aşık edecek. Muhteşem Yüzyıl izle Evet Fatmagülün Suçu Ne? bilen varsa söylesin, ben birtülü öğrenemedim, izlemediğim dizi Fatmagülün Suçu Ne' Türk Seyircisi tarafından oldukça sevilmekte. Fatmagülün Suçunu merak ediyorsanız sizde merakla izleyin. Fatmagülün Suçu Ne izle en çok izlenen dizilerimizden biri olmaya devam ediyor. Ekip, Mesut’a yardıma gelir. Ancak Mesut, ekiptekileri tanımaz. Karşılıklı çatışmaya girerler. Çatışmada Mesut, Murat’ı vurur. Ekip bu pulları piyasaya süren ekibi çökertmenin ve Mesut’u kurtarmanın peşine düşer. Hüsnüler’in ev sahibi ölmüş ve miras olarak ev de yeğeni Şermin’e kalmıştır. Aaa pardon ve özür dilerim, Öyle
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