Super Hornio Bros.
The Cinema Snob measures himself up against Ron Jeremy in this little seen early 90s Mario porno spoof.
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Previously featured on YouTube before ultimately being ousted by the powers that be (those powers being the people behind "Nail Gun Massacre") thecinemasnob.com will
feature all of the Snob's videos, old and new, and also brand new shows and full length original movies for those of us who already can't get enough of Z-Grade Cinema.
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Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Pushing Up Roses
Cinemassacre
The Geek Den
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: Super Hornio Bros.
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Help Support The Cinema Snob!
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
I thought ET was bad, but Mario Bros.? Is nothing sacred?
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Go on Encyclopedia Dramatica and look up "rule 34"
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Don't. Let that site die.
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Why ?
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Because the site has viruses and malicious software on it.
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No it doesn't. since when?
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Even if it doesn't have viruses it's still a terrible disgusting souless site created only to troll and make fun of things on the internet. Seriously, look up the cinema snob on it.
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The cinema snob has an almost glowing review there. Praise with a bit of constructive criticism. Really, as much as I do enjoy TGWG's stuff, I wish the various people involved would actually keep track of that particular page. In general the people here tend to be surrounded by yesmen and sycophants. Which is pretty much the greatest poison for comedians.
Getting balanced opinions is, of course, the best way to go. But when you can't, then going to the camp of both people who try to only find the good in what you do, and another group who only try to find the bad in what you do, can give a passable substitute.
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Thank you
People, if you have an ED page *spoiler alert* you probably deserve it.
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Yeah like small children who get accused of being whores or people with epilepsy
ED has both a good and a bad side to it, and going "oooh, but ED only does good" is kinda dumb.
I'm on the agreement box that a bunch of the TWGTG crew has issues taking criticism tho.
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well obviously nothing is perfect. I just mean that most of the member of TGWTG must think they are infallible gods who cannot ever be wrong.
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Do you people not realize that ED is a sarcastic website ?
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That depends on the subject matter.
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It can't be as bad as 4Chan. Now there's a hive of scum and villainy.
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If you are talking about /b/, I agree with you. People on 4chan actually like Brad's stuff.
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Oh. My. God.
I CAN'T believe you found a copy of this. D:
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How could something like this exist?!?!?!
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Oh, Ron Jeremy. He went on some rant about videogames causing violence, yet he did a porno parody on SMB.
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Don't forget he was in some commercials for Fairytale Fights, -a very violent game-
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He was also in Celebrity Deathmatch - another really violent video game.
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Could Jeremy be anymore of a hypocrite about violent video games? Now he's starring in the upcoming Postal III. Have you ever played Postal II?!
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Oh GOD! My childhood! I thought this was just a rumor! WHY!!!????!
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This and Beaver have ruined me on porn for life. Damn you parody pornographers!
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don't forget Jurassic Park was also 1993!
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*blushes deeply* Snob, please never hump
the air again.
That was the most confusingly sexy unsexy thing I've ever seen.
Other than that, great review as always.
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Pornography: Ruining your childhood one sex scene at a time.
Suddenly Dennis Hopper's attempt at Bowser looks dignified and subtle.
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All the Mario references you used had me on the floor. If only the movie could have done the same.
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after that...I'm just going to go take my copy of Super Mario Bros the movie and go cry myself to sleep.
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Wow, think we got ourselves a new animated gif with your pelvic thrusts.
Another awesome review,as many have said, amazing that you were able to find yourself a copy of this.
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Check down the page for an animated gif of Brad doing the pelvic thrust.
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Great review, but why the Paper Mario jab? I loved those games! Well, except Super Paper Mario. That sucked.
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Same here! Paper Mario is awesome. I don't think he was serious. He's in character, right? Maybe Brad really likes Paper Mario. Who knows?
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I think he was saying that the grapics can give you a headache, not dissing the games themselves.
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Please tell me there's a Zelda porno! Or how about Bubble Bobble?
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A Zelda porn would rule, especially after the moneyshot when Link says, "WELL EXCUSSSEEEEEE ME, PRINCESS!"
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Is it just me having problems with the audio of the clips? Super low, and I can't make out what they're saying even with my volume all the way up.
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You need to have both of your speakers on. Tried to equalize the mono movie clips as much as I could, but you still need both speakers to be on.
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I have a laptop. I can always try headphones, though
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Don't you love movies that let you know right away how much effort wasn't put into it? Nice review, one-up pelvic thrusts and all.
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Snob,
Another great episode! Love your "Adults Only" Parody episodes! I applaud your reference to Friedberg and Seltzer (does that mean you'll bite the bullet and review one of their movies for us one day?). Keep up the good work, and could Jillian co-host a review with you one day?
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She did co-host the Eclipse review... sort of... lol
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That was a really bad porno. Nice review. The early 90's is a bit of a blur to me because I was too busy hiding from...well, the 90's. Ha!
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Great review as always Snob. Hope at some time you review the sequel.
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They ganked footage and music from The Mind's Eye? Dammit, that's one of my favourite "artsy" movies! D:
I can safely say that, prior to this review, I had no idea that there existed an SMB porno spoof. Now I'm morbidly curious as to what other games this studio bastardized.
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Ah memories of playing the original Super Mario Bros. on the NES ruined by a porno. Thanks Snob!
BTW, Last Crusade FTW!
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Oh my god, Brad. Oh my God.
I think it's the pelvic thrust that really drove me insane. Great review, too, but now I know what's going to be haunting my fangirl dreams for a while yet...
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Why do you people on TGWTG all have that dumb looking pic at the begging of all your videos
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its called a title card. A lot of shows have them, not just TGWTG collaberators.
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If they had spent another couple of bucks, they might have gotten Dennis Hopper to play King Koopa in this version too!
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Hmmm, i prefer Ron Jeremy in movies where the actors are required to... uh... act?? - like in ORGAZMO and such. Also would just like to add, loved the use of his likeness in the game "Leisure Suit Larry - Magna Cum Laude"... Wasn't voiced by him unfortunately, but he was the porno fairy and sang "the porno king" song which was a parody of "the pirate king" from Pirates of Penzance... god, i haven't played that game in forever, i wonder if i'm the only girl who loved that game...
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I think I prefer this super mario movie to the one Hollywood made...
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Are you sure that's a premature ejaculation joke? Because that sound effect seems more like an erectile dysfunction joke to me.
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Oh. my. God.
1. Can't believe you found this
2. Probably your best review ever. There's just something about parody porns...
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I was thinking "Ren Hoek" long before you saiding.
Sound effects make all the difference in the world.
There's an Italian porno spoof of the 60's Batman series just begging to be reviewed.
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Pelvic Thrusting to Mario sound effects = Victory!
This movie looks awful in every way. How do you get something as basic as Mario/Luigi wrong?
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Good lord man. You are trying to get as much use out of that Crystal Pepsi bottle as you can, aren't you?
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Do the sequel. do the sequel and don't forget to use protection. :S
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Well, the Mario brothers are plumbers, so what do you expect!
I mean, seriously, would you trust your wife,her sister,your girlfriend, identical twin exchange students, lesbian neighbors and visiting police women if you knew the plumbers were due?
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Here is an animated gif of Brad doing the pelvic thrust. Enjoy!
http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/6861/cinemasnob.gif
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Movies like this give porn a bad name, and I've seen hardcore German fetish videos that would make Ron Jeremy puke.
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Now that was funny, especially the Crystal Pepsi part.
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These computer sequences aren't even a rip-off of The Lawnmower Man.
When that guy said he "wasn't worthy", I thought he was going to break into an SNES Wayne's World routine or something.
Another funny review that made me lol a lot!
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I have no sound in the clips, only your talk.
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Crystal PEPSI is my favourite cameo by-far.
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When they got to the part where they are sucked into the video game I thought it was going to turn into a porno spoof of Captain N and then we would get even crappier renditions of Megaman and Simon Belmont.
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Talk about your 1Up shrooms!
...someone had to make the joke.
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Now that I think about it, King Pooper sounds A LOT like Toad from the cartoons. My god, Toad is annoying.
However, thanks to your pelvic thrust, you can enjoy being Rule 34'd or "Shipped" or whatever the cool kids call it nowadays...if you haven't been already.
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Doesn't Mario have an already perfectly pornographic plot already? Just what does Bowser do with the Princess once he kidnaps her? Finish the thought and you have a porno. I bet a Japanese guy has already done it (please do not reply to this post with a link).
Also, I am severely disappointed with the lack of Birdo.
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insanely funny ^__^
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Hey Snob, where can I find Manimal on DVD/VHS?
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Dude I freaking Laughed so hard at those sound effects. I freaking loved that.
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k, guess we don't have html enabled... good to know lol.
enjoy-- http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx214/jbeanz6073/mario-1up.gif
god i love that gif
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Actually, I think this movie is more similar to this Holy Grail in terms of what it'll do to you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuXObD0jtwQ
In case you've never heard of Fate/Stay Night, it's a VN type game where mythological figues fight over the Holy Grail. The game's only available in english if you patch the original, and you also need to patch in voices from the PS2 game's files. So to save time and money (the game costs over $100) just use our good friend youtube and watch the video's from the aforementioned video's poster XerBlade and be sure to watch the scenarios in this order Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heavens Feel, otherwise the story won't make much sense due to plot revelations and such.
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Seconding the Fate Stay rec.
I have preference to Unlimited Blade Works.
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Except you don't -need- the PS2 voices to run the english patch. :p But yeah, I'm pretty sure I've been dosed with a nice bit of corrupted grail juices from even finding out about this movie.
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Damn... Where did you ever find this one. I've looked all over but I only seem to find part 2
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I'm pretty sure the guy who plays Bob is Buttface. Fucking Beaver and Buttface is going to haunt us for the rest of our lives.
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With a name like King Pooper, I was half expecting scat.
Awesome video! Loved the Mario references and sfx. I'll never look at pelvic thrusting the same way again! lol
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Between this and "Redneck Zombies", "Porno Holocaust" is beginning to look like "Citizen Kane" in comparison!
Great work as always, Snobby!
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I was thinking when he was doing the coin humping thing he should have had the one up sound, then i literally lol'd when he did it. but holy shit, a freakin five year old could make better effects with HALF the budget this movie had.
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Holy crap! They really did steal footage from The Mind's Eye! Take a look, Brad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2NyostewAQ
In fact, I THINK the bit with the LA riots reference was scored with a few seconds of the music from another section of The Mind's Eye. I guess when the budget dropped they started stealing things from one of the crew member's VHS tapes.
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King Pooper sound like Toad from the 80s cartoon.
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Hahahahhaha wonderful.
I'd like to see Snob do a review on one of the Max Hardcore videos.
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Brad, you have to tell me, does Pooper sound like that during the sex scenes?
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You should do a review of Ron Jeremy in Ron Jeremy's Big Dick Playhouse I havent seen it in over 20 yrs but it still haunts me I probably watched it with a nice cup full of Coke Clear or ClearCoke dont remember.Its actually ironic they had Mr Jeremy's playhouse also its truely bizzaro
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Doesnt ron jeremy's side-kick orneo or whatever he is called looks like Jon Favreau maybe he has a twin that does porn or maybe its him its a mirror image considering it was 1993
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I know its a porno but the leastthey could have done was put rope on her ankles she is spread-eagle but her legs arent tied up.And Buck Adams sister in real life was 80's porn star Amber Lynn
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how did you NOT show this part? on second thought, thank you, for not showing this part... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og8Zatva4yY
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That's from the sequel.
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I called it! Back when you first released Beaver & Buttface, I called it -- that you'd somehow find and review this movie. I have no idea how you did it, but you did it. My God, man, you are a prophet among fans of internet reviewers and obscure pornography collectors alike.
Also, good review! One of your best!
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Just remember guys this is video #98 if he does the sequel #99 i think for #100 Brad should do another Pierre Kirby movie
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*headdesk* they stole clips from 'the mind's eye'
they stole clips from 'the mind's eye' one of my favorite CGI movies
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personally i found that this movie could me much better if they included a part where Mario (I'm not demeaning my comment with that buffoon's retarded name) has to jump on a Yoshi and to make it go he has to fuck it in the ass! *cough* (this is gonna get pretty strange folks) then he has a battle with bowser in a literal cock fight only to find a midget telling him that the princess is in another porno and possibly some inner monologue and footage of scenery while said monologue is going on all set to "every rose has its thorn".
oh and yes goat fucking for the kids
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Hot damn you made my day! So... uh... You're going to do the sequel right?
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LOL, good you got a copy of the original, not part 2 which is in youtube already.
BTW, try an Argentinian spoof from the 90's called "Las tortugas mutantes pinjas".(Yeah I already sent an email)
I think is the worst porn parody ever made!, indeed if you know spanish(I bet you do :S), you will have no problem with stuff like "Pero yo quiero un culito"-which Horny Rafa told to Miguel Angel who is the leader here(WTF!).
The plot involves... well you better find out if you can get a copy XD
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Super Hornio Brothers is still a thousand times better than the Bob Hoskins 1993 Super Mario movie.
Now if they only make a porno with Yoshi... Super Hornio World anyone?
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This movie looks AWESOME! Where can I buy a copy? Appears to be more faithful to the game than Dennis Hopper's SMB movie. All we need now is a German hardcore fetish adaptation with bestiality, and we should have a spot-on cinematic interpretation of the classic game.
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fuck me, first mario = the matrix/tron
then they turned the bad guys into dominatrix's? then they make bowser look like wesker with Justin beibers voice?
great show yet again brad.
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Oh Bob, you're such a Sex Bob-omb.
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What's wrong with Paper Mario?
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Hey Brad, I think you should've saved the use of the Sega Genesis remix of your theme for THIS review. XD
BTW, ever visited Mariowiki.com? They cover EVERYTHING Mario-related there: The games, the cartoons, the anime, even the comics, and all that goes with it.
I wonder if someone will add an article on this "gem" on there now.
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Me and my friends searched for a copy of this for years to no avail. You must have preformed so many sexual acts to get this!
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Props to the guy playing Koopa to attempt a voice from The Super Mario Bros Super Show. Only trouble is, he got the wrong one; he got Toad instead of Koopa.
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Geez! Even with Porno Parodies, the film-makers couldn't have bothered to play the actual game they're basing it on!
Go help us if the Snob ever gets his hand on the Left 4 Dead porn parody - Left 4 Head
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@animedude
Cinemageddon, dude. It's where Brad Jones downloads his movies, and probably where he first hears about them too.
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I use Cinemageddon as a last resort when I can't find the movie anywhere else. It is not where I first hear about these movies.
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Of course not. You heard about this one from Something Awful like the rest of the internet.
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its stil less of a mindfuck(and gross) then et the porno oh! btw here a few porn spoof the flintbone beaverjuice i its sequel ???
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How come i get this feeling like The Cinema Snob will review Porn of the Dead soon.....well wait....actually that one knows it's genre....
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Mario in a porno?!!?...Augh! It burns!
But seriously, awesome as always, Cinema Snob.
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Doesn't King Pooper kind of sound like Toad from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show?
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The best thing about seeing you review things like this is that thoughts like "I know how I would have done it if I was to make a Super Mario Brothers porno" pops up. Things like that spices up the everday life.
Very funny review, I loved the coin and 1Up sound effects joke.
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Pooper, sounds like Toad.
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All it needed was a laughing dog.
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Dude this was great. You should review The Wickeds.
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I'm just glad they left Yoshi out of this mess...Unless he's in the sequel? Oh God!
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Great review as always Snob!
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Are you going to review the sequel, Brad?
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Don't forget about "BABEWATCH" (another porno spoof directed by and starring Buck Adams)!
This one also stars former female porn superstar Asia Carrera!
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Hi!
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the strange thing is, I saw this film on my 21st birthday. I was very drunk, but remember distinctly watching it with my best friend and my dad. My buddy still remembers it as one of the most surreal moments of his life.
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What blatant disregard for the source material. I'll stick to "Super Mario Bros." with Dennis Hopper, thank you very much.
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Monkey!
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Cinema Snob, my good sir, are you implying that Paper Mario is...bad or at least it somehow gives headaches? Them's fightin' words, that series is fantastic.
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