"Machete" Review
I take a look at the new Robert Rodriguez flick.
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The Cinema Snob: "Machete" Review
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Yea, I think Eli would destroy Thanksgiving. It's nice 'cause it's short but once it gets extended, and he has to write dialog. One could only imagine how much of a horror it would be just trying to sit through it.
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Man what a with about Hobo with a shotgun?
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Dude! Rutger Hauer in Hobo With A Shotgun is next.
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Seriously? I really wanted Hobo With a Shotgun to be made! And I'm so glad you liked Machete Brad, I've been so excited about this.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nbl78cj5vM
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"Machette" was too much political message and too little ridiculous fun action film.* I wanted much more fun and less messages. (But I agree with your view.) But their have been so many great throwback films like "Black Dynamite", "Pirhanna 3D", and "Expendables". But I thought "Machette" was weak. And a lot of it was ovbious. "Death Proof" was fantastic. I disagree. "Planet Terror" was overproduced. It costs way too much to be a throwback to cheap films. "Machette" was too much message too little action. (Also this one didn't look gritty it's ovbiously f*(*@*cking digital. "Machette" is fun though. And very much worth seeing if you're inclinded. But the political message was insulting. No pacing at all and no subtlety in it's message it was too much message!!! arg! But possibly the greatest what the fuck moment I've seen in the past 10 years is in this movie........seriously
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I don't think this was more political than fun, and I think that what was there for political message was meant more to be funny than serious. As someone who is just 'meh' about immigration debates I just didn't feel it was overly political. You're probably overthinking it because everyone I saw was having a helluva lot of fun with it. It also seemed LESS digital looking than any of the previous Rodriguez stuff so I don't see how you can call it 'obvious'.
But shock of shocks, a movie made by a mexican is against hardline anti-immigration folks.
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Robert Rodriguez is american, and a Texas native. Wonder what would make you snarkily dismiss his nationality with that "shock of shocks" comment...? Are there, in your book, varying degrees of being an american based on ethnic background, perchance?
Oh and that "huddled masses" stuff? Patriots of the US should be, by principle, against hardline anti-immigration folks as a whole, actually. That's not just reserved for recent or applying immigrants.
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I think you misread my post, as I was saying 'shock of shocks' as in: you should not be shocked! And yes, while Robert was born and raised in Texas, his parents are of mexican descent (not sure where they were born). Definitely not dismissing anyway, just stating: of course he's pro-immigration, he's from a mexican background.
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Wow, Napoleon, you are really looking for things to get offended about, aren't you? The guy wasn't even dismissing your views and you jump all over him. Save that sarcastic shit attitude for the comments section of Fark or the Huffington Post.
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I wanted to see this after seeing the trailer for it. As far as politics goes, it looks about as political as Falling Down. Very base, very simple, with two dimensional characters - just the kind of stuff we need in movies. Plus it has Seagal so how can you do wrong? I may actually go see it in theater now instead of waiting for DVD release.
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Although I do have to say I'm very happy a man like Trejo is the star of this film and not some pretty boy. It's good to see a real man headline a film for a change.
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When he mentioned likeable villains, I knew Hans Gruber was going to get mentioned. I actually really want to see Machete but it's not out here til late November. Danny Trejo is the man though.
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Ever since seeing this @ midnight Friday morning, I've been waiting to see you & Spoony review this. I think I'd have liked this before, but I think the "education" I've gotten on exploitation films from The Snob. One thing I wanted to mention is Lindsay Lohan has plenty of revealing in the movie, in fact she's probably the most nudity in the film. Though she's a crappy actress, let's face it, who else can play a strung-out, slutty, rich privileged girl other than Lindsay Lohan? Keep reviewing & making us laugh!
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Lohan does not appear nude in this. The topless scene of the Lohan character was the actress from the original Machete fake trailer.
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Actually, you can see Lindsey Lohan nipples when she wake up naked in the church, so yeah. I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but I notice it without focusing on her tits, so I don't think she has a no-nudity contract anymore.
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Huh funny thing, not about Machete that movie will probably be awesome. I'm psyched for it and when I'll have a chance I'll see it. What's funny is that I had a little marathon of mister Shyamalan movies with the ones I never saw. The Happening, which I kind of liked, The Village, which I really like and tomorrow I'll see Lady in the Water. He still has in my opinion some good movies, not as good as Unbreakable or 6th Sense, but still good. What I'm saying I'll go and see the Devil just because his name is attached to it. I didn't see The Last Airbender because off all the bad rep it got, but from what I've seen from Shyamalan's work the movie failed because there is allot of greed and control from studio execs.
Still great review and agree 100% with what you said about Danny Trejo and Stallone. Lock up and The Last Boy Scout are some fine underrated movies that I probably saw too many times to count. Oh and thanks for the Blackout suggestions. Gonna track down that sucker.
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i'll tell you exactly why Lohan and Alba were in this so Danny Trejo could play a character that nailed both Lohan and Alba It was to point ou tht no matter ehat you'll never be as cool as Machete
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i wish that danny trejo is gonna play the role of the "the governor" in the walking dead tvshow series. because in the comic book "the governor" looks soooo much like him
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You haven't seen violence and gore, till you watch A Serbian Movie (Srpski Film).
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ah man that movie was in poor taste.
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I heard that Eli's going through with it and making Thanksgiving...
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Sigh I wish I could go see it like you tell us but its not out in the New Zealands yet =[
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Hey Brad, just curious if you've seen Steven Segals' parts in the Onion Movie, as the Cock-Puncher? Good stuff!
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This film was amazing. The casting was top notch, although I agree Lindsay Lohan was the weakest link. I know people question why audiences clap at the end of the movie but for this one I thought it was deserved. It was just alot of fun.
Question though for people who have seen this movie. What happened to Tom Savini's character? Maybe I missed an explanation or maybe there wasn't one.
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There's no big explanation, but the last time we saw him is when he says "No, he's coming for YOU." so I'm assuming he decided the pay wasn't good enough for him to fight a pissed off Machete or whatever.
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I saw intestines used as a rope once! It was in that movie dead snow. The one where the Nazis come back from the dead and start killing skiers. It was pretty awesome
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Brad we get it you don't like Death proof I do move on and just talk about Machete !
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I'll talk about whatever the hell I want on my site.
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...wow well man, now I feel like a dick um I'm still a big fan...wow this is though look i get it and I liked deathproof i dunno I didn't like it as much at first a friend of mine pointed some thing out about what Qt was doing with it i guess he was like trying to build up the whole lapdance thing but I doubt that would change your mind. good review man keep up the good work love your work my favorite things to watch when i'm backed
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For the love of god, periods are your friend.
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awesome
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oh brad i know like da movie, but easy with the spoilers
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He did say spoiler alert.
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*heh* For a fan of old exploitation flicks that you don't like Death Proof is bizarre. Death Proof's dialogue is supposed to be filler between the action. The story is flat out obvious, so the dialogue is just there pretty much as padding. Reminded me a LOT of some of the better flicks from MST3K as odd as that sounds (I like a lot of those movies).
Fantastic to hear your review of this, btw. Thank you.
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The dialogue in Death Proof was not badding between the action. It was the entire first 90 minutes of the movie. If there was action between the dialogue, aside from that 1 car crash, it'd be different, but as it is, it's slow and boring.
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Intentionally boring is still boring.
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The best thing is that the Machete character is from the Spy Kids movies. Talk about one helluva spin-off from THAT Rodriguez franchise!
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Alba is in this because RR obviously likes working with her. At first I was proud of Lohan stepping it up and showing some nip, but it turns out she doesn't...tsk tsk. Anyway, can't wait to see this one, I totally agree with you on the trailer for Devil. It seems Shyamalan, who I hate with a passion, still can manage to come up with ways to make even me think that just MAYBE this time something he's associated with might be good. Before Airbender came out and became a must see because of how bad it is, when I heard they were making it I thought "maybe this will be good, since it isn't Shyamalan's own material," but it turns out in addition to being a terrible writer, he's a great butcher of other people's source material as well. So finally after that I think there's no way in hell I'll see a movie he's associated with, and they have to give us a trailer for a movie with a premise that is interesting enough to warrant me seeing it. The fact that he didn't write the screenplay, and is not directing are definite plusses, and I agree that most of his movies have ok stories that are just turned to shit by bad filmmaking. So I guess I'll give that fucker ONE more chance...
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I find it interesting how people are complaining that there's some kind of message especially when Rodriguez himself said that there wasn't much of a message. People seem to forget that a lot of exploitation films were political and weren't afraid to be. Look at the entire blaxploitation genre or films like Cannibal Holocaust or Fight For Your Life. You can't say that those films have no messages.
If anything, there needs to be genre films to address what's going on in the world. Mexploitation could be huge.
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Loved Machete too!
Also had the same gripe with Lindsey Lohan. Her character was completely superfluous, and in poor taste if her introduction in the story is AT A CRACKHOUSE STRUNG OUT ON DRUGS! In my opinion, you could have cast a no name actress in her part and it would have been just the same.
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Kinda off topic but does anyone know the name of the song in the Samsung Vibrant S commercial thats playing all over blip now?
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Hmmmm, maybe I should ask this question again to Kung Tai Ted, and Not Brad? Do you know of the Segal Cock Punch? Hmmmm, Ted?
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My complaint with this movie is that its not getting a worldwide release outside the U.S. until November 23rd 2010 (a full 3 months away) which suggests the distributor is testing its performance in the US first.
Bullshit to that-I boycotted GRINDHOUSE because it got delayed and split into two movies which made it to U.S. Region One DVD BEFORE the UK Cinema release.
I torrented a camcorder job and imported the Japanese 6 Region 0 DVD Boxset (the only way to get GRINDHOUSE and its two director cuts of Planet Terror/Death Proof).
I also eventually saw Grindhouse in March 2008 because Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgram vs the World) pushed for a limited "GRINDHOUSE release" at UK Arthouse Cinemas with full trailers including his "Don't" Fake Trailer.
Otherwise I think this film is going to bomb.
So far I don't like the sound of this film. A politcal message film? Ppplease it should just be a 90 minute tacky, fun, nudity throwback to video nasty violence- just like the orignal fake trailer suggested.
There sounds like there have been way too many changes to the basic concept for me to enjoy it now. Maybe the makers of Piranha 3-D should have shown them how its done.
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I'm up for Werewolf Women of the SS with Nicholas cage as Fu Manchu. I agree with you about Thanksgiving. Eli Roth has no sense of logic, the dialogue is the least of his problems.
I think the problem with Death Proof is that it's an art-house experiment pretending to be an exploitation film, so it ends up diluted. It could have been a great slasher film with cars, instead it's just unsatisfying
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Sorry for a second post so soon.
I don't the big problem with Machete having a political subtext. This was big part of 70s exploitation cinema. Loads of them had social and political ideas bubbling under the surface. The film makers were often oddballs and hippie (ish) types, and exploitation cinema dovetailed with underground cinema.
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Holy Christ, The Last fucking Boy Scout. "Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose... Smile, you fuck".
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Hey Brad did you hear about Lindsay playing Linda Lovelace? No nudity clause be damned! Also I hear Thanksgiving is being made as well now haha.
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I watched Machete with my friends today, and I agree with your review. The movie is just really fun to go to, just gratuitous violence, gore, and nudity. I found the scenes with Jessica Alba to be kind of awkward, she just didn't FEEL right in the role if that makes any sense. Her acting wasn't spectacular either, but it was more that she just didn't feel right for the role. As for Lindsey Lohan, she wasn't terrible in it acting wise but again she didn't look right for the role and the whole no nudity thing with her when she's right next to a completely naked chick (trying not to give spoilers here) is like really off-putting and annoying. So ya, in all, I agree with Brad, watch the movie if you wanna see people die in awesome ways and don't mind some tits in your movies. And while you're at it watch the Expendables if you haven't yet.
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Loved Machete as well I went in with high expectations and it delivered.
I am surprised to hear you liked Get Carter. I think besides myself you are the first person to like it.
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I have been looking forward to this one ever since it was announced. I loved Planet terror and I thought death proof was mah. Anyway I can't believe ths one comes out on November 26th in the UK... I mean for fuck sake we get it last!!!
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I agree with Brad, if you are going to play a stripper, whore or porn star.. DON'T HAVE A NO NUDITY! and if you are a director, don't sign an actress to play those roles with a NO NUDITY clause.. why does Lindsay have a no nudity clause anyway?
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Nobody's mentioned Hobo With A Shotgun which is being shot right now with Rutger Hauer. That's the one I'm looking forward to.
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Have you seen the new trailer? It honestly looks pretty lame. They took out all the humor and made it look super-dramatic (not kidding), and it also looks very big-budget and glossy, which I think kind of misses the point. Still, it does have some pretty impressive-looking gore, like a chick with a slashed neck having her gushing throat wound filled with vodka and sutered with duct tape.
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Thanks for the review but I'll pass. The politics of this one turns me off. I live in Washington but I feel pretty strongly about illegal immigration being wrong. The over the top rhetoric in Machete really gets in the way of the sex and violence and the Danny Trejo I really want to see. Maybe it's just me.
Thanks again, looking forward to that Snob video you just posted.
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My two cents on Machete:
The movie is alright, basically your run-of-the-mill actioner, until the last 20-or-so minutes when it becomes pretty unbearable. You have shit like (spoilers) a character who gets a bullet through the head earlier in the movie showing up near the end with an eyepatch, but otherwise perfectly fine. Lindsay Lohan's character was, by far, the most pointless aspect of the film and in it strictly for novelty value. And, by the way, she DOES INDEED do topless nudity in the film, in the scene when she wakes up in the church. She's trying to hide her nipples beneath her hair, but you can very clearly see them a few times anyways. Frankly, I thought she looked very trashy in the movie and it wasn't worth the wait (especially since there's that Paris Hilton-style crotch shot of Lindsay all over the internet). Jessica Alba's near-nude scene was very surprising, though.
It also seemed like a pretty long movie. And my God, has Seagal gotten fat. He looked like a sumo wrestler at the end.
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Tom Savini actually went to high school with my father.
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Well on my blog, I've written a negative review on this one. The story failed on me for the most part. Unfortunately it is in French, so you might not understand all of it.
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Yeah, Thanksgiving is in development. I have hope; I love Eli Roth, flawed as he may be, and maybe this is an opportunity for personal growth.
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Actually, the next Grindhouse feature is called "Hobo With a Shotgun".
www.hobowithashotgun.com
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This was a great film. Plus any time Danny Trejo gets top billing over a bunch of actors that are 10X better known than him, it can't get any better!
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Me and the miss just came back from a showing and it was so so much fun. This and Punisher WarZone were about the funnest times I've had with one-man army silly throwback flicks in a long long time. They really need to never stop making pictures like this. It's really the only reason we shell out money at the movie theater anymore. I don't think anyone in this flick was miscast at all for their roles. Each silly character and absurd line of dialog was just perfect for this type of picture. And the death scene with Seagal was absolutely priceless. Great great over the top picture. The only thing that would have made the experience better is if they had pulled another GRINDHOUSE and had the fake trailers and another picture right afterwards...sigh..at least I got to experience it in theaters once and for that I am most thankful.
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Speaking of the fake trailers, Werewolf women of the S.S actually IS supposed to be on Rob Zombie's plate, he's noted so on his official myspace and a few interview comments before. Probably won't be out til sometime before or maybe after he does his Blob remake. Should be interesting to see.
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Interesting review. I am tempted to see Machete but no one will go with me because none of my friends like these kind of violent gore movies.
Also, what's that sound in the background around 22:26? it's very faint.
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Im going to MACHETE in 30 minutes and the main reason is because of your review since I agree with most of your reviews minus BloodSuckinFreaks.I bought a bootleg copy 2 days ago and I got it from a person whose quality is usually good,but since its a grindhouse movie I wasn;t sure if was supposed to be filmed like Planet Terror.And I only watched the first 5 minutes and shut it off cause I have a movie ticket left over when I bought a couple at costco,and at 1st I thought they gave me the spanish copy but I think it was that the audio was not timed correct because that naked bitch spoke english.ll I hope its as good as you say it is.
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when he took that he did the die hard rope thing with the dudes intestines i got up from my seat in the theater and yelled THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME
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I'm with you. I'm sick of seeing the Devil trailer. It's literally been in front of every movie I've seen over the past few months. And almost every time, someone groans or laughs. Especially before Scott Pilgrim where the entire theater laughed, which was awesome. Except when I saw Machete last night, one guy behind me said out loud "I wanna see that!" No you don't. Stop it.
But honestly I've seen a lot of movies this Summer. This year is the first time in a long time where there's been more than 2 movies I've wanted to see. But I haven't seen trailers for either The Town or Green Hornet. I thought you were going to mention Jackass 3D. I'm a HUGE Jackass fan and even I'm sick of seeing that trailer by now.
But yeah, Machete was awesome. I shared pretty much all of your views. I'll probably have a review up on my blog by the end of the day. Really, by the end of the movie, I just wanted to watch another Grindhouse movie right afterwards (with new fake trailers, of course).
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The reason Rodriguez chose Linsay Lohan to play that the role of April is because she is the role. She didn't have to act. She is a drug addict and a slut. I agree with all the points you made about her acting but I needed to say this irrelevant.
Seppuku, something that is rarely seen in movies.
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I will say ( pertaining to Devil) I am surprised that you didn't mention how annoying it is to have to hear that same scream over and over again.
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this was a great fuckin movie
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Well, I have watched MACHETE,and I am now watching this review, and I have to say that, I agree, it's a movie that has to be seen. Danny Trejo has a certain CHarles Bronson granite face quality that draws you in, and yes, there should be sequels indeed. It is far from being the perfect movie,but it still has to be seen, because the scenes that work (and there's a lot of em here) REALLY work: I loved Steven Seagal he was AWESOME in this, and he should definitely go for the villain roles now! Every scene that Seagal was in worked for me,right now with the extra weight he is just perfect for roles like this. (lol) Jeff Fahey did a good job too, but Don Johnson's character should've had more screen time, while Jessica Alba should've had less. I believe that the questionable vigilante angle could've been used to fill in for some of the filler scenes,and Johnson had this sort of cult leader aspect to his character that could have been brought in a little more (how come all those people followed him?). Overall, it is an effective movie; i have to be honest the first two grindhouse movies, were kinda disappointing, but this one not only carries the grindhouse aesthetic, it works as a current actioner, like you mentioned.
Saludos Brad
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http://blip.tv/file/4218920
Awesome review Brad! So glad someone else was that excited about the film. Would so love to see a franchise emerge from this, would be one awesome DVD collection.
I did my own rants about Machete. Click on the link! XD
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Hi, first time writing here, a follower from Spain.
I wanted very hard to enjoy this movie, but I got quite disappointed. It's not that I found it terrible, but...
The fact is that another guy is credited as a director, and I suspect that is because he did all the editing, when Rodriguez use to do this in almost all its movies (I may be wrong, though). I found the movie was lacking in rythm. Sure the action scenes were cool, but some of them were somewhat poorly edited. And how comes the movie runs for almost 110 minutes? It should have been an 80-90 minutes long movie.
I don't know. Perhaps Rodriguez didn't put a lot of effort in the movie, as he uses to do, perhaps is only a perception of mine... I only think that the movie ought to be more entertaining that it was. Also think there were too much transition scenes, something death proof was guilty of, too.
I really wanted to enjoy the movie, and I got out the theater with a bittersweet taste, like it could have been a great movie, but couldn't because of the flaws. And also, I think there was not a single gory scene I hadn't seen in the promos!
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Mmmmmmmma-chete!
Sorry, somebody had to.
Anyway great, great movie. Agree with Lohan and Alba, questionable casting choices to say the least. But the film works even with them. Just loads of fun.
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I can't beileve you saw 'Hard Candy' and yet you still that that Eli Roth is the worst dialog writter of his generation. I'll admit his no Billy Wilder, but he's fucking Shakespeare compared to Brian Nelson.
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Loved Machete! It was sexy, dirty and dark and very b-movie. I also want a franchise out of this, it would be f*in awesome!
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