Reviews: "The Human Sexipede" & "Paranormal Activity 2"
The Human Sexipede: A Porn Parody
Paranormal Activity 2
Paranormal Activity 2
Original Series
Paranoia
Welcome
Previously featured on YouTube before ultimately being ousted by the powers that be (those powers being the people behind "Nail Gun Massacre") thecinemasnob.com will
feature all of the Snob's videos, old and new, and also brand new shows and full length original movies for those of us who already can't get enough of Z-Grade Cinema.
Links
Mike Bracken
The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: Reviews: "The Human Sexipede" & "Paranormal Activity 2"
BlogAds
Support
Help Support The Cinema Snob!
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
I've noticed you have a fondness for the phrase "steel hard-on".
Reply to this
You clearly don't get the subtle nuances and mind boggling social commentary that 'The Human Sexipede' Displayed.
Reply to this
Do you ever plan on reviewing Buried?
It's a pretty unique film and I would love to hear your opinion of it.
Reply to this
The Human Sexipede sounds like a great experience.
Reply to this
You know, I quite liked Paranormal Activity...I do have to admit I absolutely hated the character of Micah, I don't mean to imply the actor was bad or anything but I found myself every 2 or 3 minutes saying "jesus, this guy is a bloody simpleton"...though I get the feeling that may have been the intent of the filmakers. His overbearing "macho" sort of act really got to me..."this is MY house and I'LL take care of everything" he just ignores everything going on right up to the end, to the point where I got quite close to losing any suspension of disbelief. It didn't quite cross that line and I wound up sort of seeing his character and personality as one I didn't like. I know it sounds like I'm bashing the movie and I'm not, I really did like it...his mindset was just always so utterly self-centered and I can never stand people like that. Worked as a character, I'd just be annoyed to shit with him in real life.
**SLIGHT SPOILER**
As a side, there's two different alternate endings for PA
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/faq#.2.1.7
I actually found the standard alternate more compelling, I liked how she "come's out of it" so to speak, her confusion makes the ending that much more tragic I thought. I'll definitely have to check out pt. 2. What you mention about the sequel at times revealing things that wind up being idiotic (like Zeist), [REC]2 was pretty ruinous, loved the first one, just avoid the sequel like the plague.
Reply to this
I enjoyed the first Paranormal Activity and I'm more interested in seeing the sequel now ^_^
I still recommend you to see the movie Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County (all shot on a hand held except for a few short interview scenes)
Reply to this
I have a suggestion, could you snob Café flesh. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caf%C3%A9_Flesh
The movie cry to be snobed; a porn flick with a vibrant style, a mix between Cronenberg and Lynch with more sex, something who could be considered to be a art house movie if he was not a porn...that actually is not even a problem in fact.
Great music.
A good scenario. I'm serious, is really a good story if you pass some of the convention of porn, like some name.
Well directed.
A interesting art direction, just a bit dated...really reminiscent of the eighties(not the best part I would say).
He could really fit in your show, and the snob can actually be against him or actually defend the movie, considering the level of snobbery you want to in-punt.
Here two video on youtube :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHGyWmcfIVU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6UUZYNskJk&NR=1
And the director have done others stranges movies, like is own version of Dr.Caligary.
Reply to this
Your life must be awesome cause you review sodas and porn for living.
Reply to this
Christ! I saw the script for the human sexipede online and the "Why is he sceraming. Don't worry, it's hir fetish" part is on page 8! According to Brad, this is like 40 minutes in. That's 8 pages in 40 minutes. My god, that's alot of sex/padding.
Reply to this
The Human Sexipede! I gotta rent that. Oh my god!
Reply to this
Haha. I've not even seen the videos yet, but already I just wanna post a comment to say: What amazingly funny still shots (ya know, the things that the video-window shows before starting) for these two videos! Just great!
Reply to this
I loved this movie, I thought that it was entertaining as all hell. I found it kind of funny that it seemed like it was actualy ripping off Paranormal Entity, not plot wise, but just the way it was set up. I felt that the plot in this one was creepier, how it goes into more detail about the demon, and explains the backstory of the family. It was very creepy and a lot of fun. Fuck Ebert and his 1 and a half star review.
Reply to this
It makes me giggle when you complain about the sex scenes in pornos getting in the way of the story.
I didn't buy this shit for the fucking!
Reply to this
"The Ghost is from Zeist!?"
lol ^^
Reply to this
"We don't get to see him piss in her mouth..." while her head is sewn to his dick. "Hahahahahahahahaha, too bad. I wished it was darker!" But over-the-top newborn born in a "supposed" dark satire? "Man, that's just so wrong, I don't even want to speak it out!" Hipocritical, anyone?!?
Reply to this
Sorry, I don't like to watch baby rape. If you do, that's your own thing. And "A Serbian Film" was not a fucking satire. Also, I'll go ahead and say it, anyone who thinks that baby rape is equivalent to watching weird shit happening to adults is either a fucking moron or a pederast.
Reply to this
I agree. Let's take movies like "hostel" or "cabin fever" for example. Characters on those kind of movies are just unlikable in every way, so you enjoy watching them get slaughtered. Or those stupid sluts from human centipede end up in the back of centipede. But when you show totally unnecessary hurting of newborn and tell us its political statement... its just wrong.
Reply to this
"executor" just got owned!
Reply to this
P.S.: You're videos and reviews are nontheless pretty damn great, although sadly I don't think you want (because of, well, you obviously hate this movie AND it's beyond your cut off date) or even legally can "snob" "A Serbian Film" on a website (outside of serbia, hehe), although I think it would have been an interesting take to see what "the inner praetentious movies loving dude" had to say about it.
At the end: Keep up the good work! (And, boy, where you a show-stealer in the "Leprechaun"-review!
Reply to this
I think you have a different taste, because the a nightmare on elm street remake was just a piece of shit. And the first paranormal activity was boring. It starts with boring stuff. Nothing happens. And the ending was just weak. And he deserved to die with his macho bullshit.
And I like the cinema snob parts. The brad tries is just not about cinema and weird. It almost feels like the strange fetish porn you see that exists on the internet. I mean it's just a drink.
Have a nice day. And with all the boring people who like the shit movies in this age they will make more of it.
Trevanian
Reply to this
I like how you can tell what Brad thinks of the movies just by looking at his face in the screenshots that show up before the videos load. I haven't seen the videos yet, but is this pretty accurate?:
The Human Sexipede: "Eh."
Paranormal Activity 2: "Uh, whoa."
Reply to this
Do you think they'll do a porno version of A Serbian Film ?
Reply to this
Hey, I think you have the same pajama pants as I do! Awesomeness!
Reply to this
Too bad The Human Sexipede wasn't that good. I mean I'm not much for porn with a plot but months ago I saw the trailer on YouTube and it looked really funny, considerably better than the original movie. But it does sound miles above all the ____ Movie spoofs that come out every year or two.
Reply to this
I really liked the first Paranormal Activity movie and I also really liked Paranormal Activity 2. Other than the fact that the jumpscares are well done and it's well acted, what I really like about these movies is that the characters look and feel like regular people. You can relate to them on a certain level. They are not the usual cookie-cutter "beautiful" Hollywood people who are always in their 20's, or play people that are in their 20's that come out in movies that they try to pass off as scary, like The Ruins, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, and, of course, Blair Witch 2. One drawback for me in watching the midnight showing of this movie is that I consider my house to be haunted (nowhere near the extent of the movie, thank God!!!!!), so trying to get some sleep that night was kind of a problem. LOL!!
Reply to this
I work at an adult film shop and I immediately wondered if you would be reviewing The Human Sexipede. Glad to see you did.You should check out and possible review Batman xxx and BatFxxxxx one is a parody of the old Adam West t.v. show which actually plays out quite awesome as far as Porno spoofs go and The other is a Dark Knight Parody which I have yet to watch. I always watch the parody ones at work it keeps me from wanting to kill myself from dealing with weridos all night. Another few that you may wanna check out are The reno 911 spoof , The seinfeld Series spoofs and of course Roseanne. Those are some interesting watches for sure. I just got the Different Strokes parody in , I think I will be checking that one out tonight... I agree with you though , that most of these porn parodies are far superior to the "Epic Movie" "Meet the Spartans" type flicks. Which really says something about those film makers and honestly the movie going public that actually fork over good money to watch those pieces of shit. I would rather watch a Scat porn version of Lady and the Tramp than sit through those pieces of cinematic Trash.
Reply to this
Saw both Paranormal Activity 1&2 last Friday when the second one opened. Scary stuff! I too would like to see a third film happen, maybe concentrating more on the teenage daughter searching for Katie and Hunter. Don't know if they'll stick with the "found" footage concept or just stick with normal narrative!
Reply to this
technically, 'sexipede' would not be more than 'centipede', centi means 100, sex, means 6
Reply to this
Yeah, I agree. I liked it a lot. Although I think I prefer the first one though.
Reply to this
Actually, if it were a human sexipede (containing six legs, as the name means.) there should be one and a half persons to make up said sexipede. I think the word insect would make more sense.
Reply to this
When I first heard "human sexipede" I thought I would finally see a film with a guy sandwiched between two girls sewn together and are forced to urinate and defecate all over each other every time they are fed. I was wrong.
Reply to this
Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also..
Reply to this
I thought I was the only one who often zapped past the sex scenes while watching porno movies.
Reply to this
What a great post i love it so nice keep it up well done job.
Academic Essay Writing Service, Term Paper Writing, Coursework Writing, Assignment Writing, Buy, University UK, Essays UK, Custom UK, Assignments UK, Services UK, Dissertation Uk
Reply to this
C'mon man, it's a porno. You are supposed to rewind in the part you like in the sex scene and cum on it.
Reply to this
http://www.hotel-hasselhof.de/
Reply to this
When you talk about porn you sound like someone who is forced to watch wrestling.
"they know whos going to win"
"hes not hurt he's faking it"
"Yeah, those girls have never been in a 3some"
"I highly doubt those girls have ever been with another girl"
Porn is not suppose to be taken serious. Have fun, laugh,jerk and fuck.
Reply to this
You do know that was a comedic review right? As in the words that were coming out of my mouth were in joke form? Designed for comedic purposes, as in, its funny that I would complain about the plot of a horror film. You know, stuff like that.
Reply to this
well i'm going to have to watch one of those movies...
You know i'd really like you to do a proper review of the blair witch project now, think i'm gonna have to go dig out my copy.
Reply to this
Have you seen Ebert's snobby review of this yet? Perfect for a Snob direct quotation.
Reply to this
Regarding the production company explicitly using the phrase "A Porn Parody" in their title cards: I suspect that this is done to dissuade the mainstream distribution labels (or the conglomerates that own them) from suing over copyright infringement.
One has to love a species that produces both pornographic "spins" on any commercial property with even a modicum of notoriety, and multi-trillion dollar corporations that fly into a puffy rage at the slightest inkling of someone else possessing money that could, conceivably, have passed into their own fold.
Reply to this
That is a great idea I am looking forward for more updates.
allied vans / allied van lines
Reply to this
Brad sounds like he could direct one hell of a porn film!
Reply to this
You know, after I watched this, I saw your Twix Commercial parody.
Genius. God damn genius.
Reply to this
Just seen Paranormal Activiy 2, and I was a bit disappointed, since I found the first part scarier, since is more subtle. My listening skills are not perfect, so I completely lost the part that throws some light on the first movie, but after filling the gaps (reading about the plot and so) I find it better. I think it works more as a part of the whole, and has some creepy moments, but also think it has too boring family scenes.
I haven't watched the sequel to Blair witch, but I think some thing in the style of the fake documentary "Curse of the Blair Witch" could have worked quite right.
And last, there's that Japanese movie called "Noroi" (I don't know if there is an international title). I highly recommend it. It's also shot as a fake docummentary, with pieces of TV shows, hand cammera, etc. Very creepy stuff.
If you're into this kind of movie you should give it a watch.
Reply to this
"A Porn Parody"
This is used for legal reasons.... the other one what was popular was "Not ...names of real movie" this was actually trademarked by one company so now the others adopted other addons like "a Porn Parody" or " a XXX Parody" etc.
by using this as the title it mitigates most lawsuit attempts early on. stupid and lame
Reply to this
The Human Sexipede should have been 10 Women attached at the hips with strapons with the Doctor at the back fucking the girl in the back.
I'm just sayin'. That'd be a porno human centipede imo. It doesn't fulfill the same "single digestive tract" aspect of the real human centipede, but does it really need to? It's a porn PARODY, and stitching 10 women together with strapons in place would be a pretty good parody of it.
Reply to this
Thank you so much brad for expressing my feelings perfectly. The Two reviews I saw before this movie didn't like the sequel as much.
One said it was unneeded and boring because you knew what the demon was capable of, and wanted to see it happen.
The second said it was really good but had too many jump scares and revealed too much which for him made it pointless.
I LOVE Paranormal Activity 2. It scared me and my friend to death. We watched the first one right before seeing the second and to me I liked the second more.
In the first, I hated Katie because she was a moody annoying bitch, and I liked Micah. But I did like the last few moments of the first one.
In this one I liked a lot of the characters lie the dad, daughter, and even the baby. I loved the dog too :3
But the mother was also just as annoying as her sister to me.
Anyways I was wondering why all my favorite horror films never really scared me that much even though some did the first time. But that doesn't matter because I was scared to shit by this movie, and loved it a lot too so I found my favorite Horror film now. :3
Also I HATE Blair Witch because it's just shaking the camera and yelling to me. I hated the characters so freaking much.
But what ever, you made some great points about the movie though Brad.
Reply to this
Just watched the trailer
Evil Doctor: I'm so dirty, the Girls from "2Girls1Cup" have to videotape their reactions to watching me.
Reply to this
I was very pleased to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this great read!! This is a very informative post, it helps me more.
Reply to this
Let me tell you, I'm so glad someone besides me liked the first Blair Witch project. When I saw it in theatres, I absolutely loved it. Watching it later on, it did lose some of it's charm and appeal but that first time through? It was so golden if only for how gritty/realistic it came out to be thanks to the unknown characters. It's so satisfying to see slow breakdown of these people and the slow breakdown of society itself through them. I love that theme.
Reply to this