The Geek
Sasquatch gets lucky.
Original Series
Paranoia
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Previously featured on YouTube before ultimately being ousted by the powers that be (those powers being the people behind "Nail Gun Massacre") thecinemasnob.com will
feature all of the Snob's videos, old and new, and also brand new shows and full length original movies for those of us who already can't get enough of Z-Grade Cinema.
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Mike Bracken
The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: The Geek
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Help Support The Cinema Snob!
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
First
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So what?
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Which begs the question why anyone would have a Bigfoot costume hanging around....
Great review, as always!
- TGWD
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Well, it IS two days after Halloween...
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Actually why would anyone google Sasquatch porn
Although now I'm intrigued LOL!
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i like the scene where bigfoot is earfucking the snob
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Ha,ha sasquatch porn o my god people are sick
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another great one. thanks brad
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Snob, great review! Please, please, please review, "The Young and the Wrestling."
It's a wrestling porn movie starting Randy West and Randy Spears. I think it's from the late '80s and it spawned a sequel staring West and Peter North.
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If the Snob is going to review a wrestling movie, I'd prefer to see him review The Wrestler.
No, not the critically acclaimed, award winning 2008 film! I mean the 1974 film featuring featuring guys like Superstar Billy Graham, Ric Flair, and Dusty Rhodes.
Honestly, I just want to see a review where the Snob is expecting this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61-GFxjTyV0
And gets this instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGxNVVrn8d8
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(looks at title card)
Huh, the Sasquatch Porn?
(looks at the image on the card)
EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Hope you got great sphincter control!!
(gets to the post-mortem transformation scene)
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Great review. And you now have to make a series to use the Boggy Creek music as an intro.
Also? You need to review the original Married... With Children porno spoof from the early 90's.
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The fuck! This is the first movie I ever heard of where the director and crew is nonexistant.
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They could have also called it "Hairy Henderson"
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Let this video serve as a warning to all of you. If Brad Jones calls you to come over and help him with "something", you'll probably just end up in a Geek costume with the simple directions of "Pick me up and just start humping". Don't blame me if you make the same mistake!
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I waited patiently for a Harry and the Hendersons reference. You did not disappoint.
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SAVAGE BEAST! XD
Great review. The tweest at the end was hilarious.
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... Okay, that ending.
I'm scarred for life.
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So when are you going to review the Flintstones porno with Ron Jeremy?
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Great review, but I'm surprised the Snob didn't like Gerry. Maybe it didn't have enough pretentious symbolism. Speaking of which, they should have said this movie was about the political situation in Serbia or something. Maybe then the Snob would enjoy it!
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i'm surprised of all the people i know who've watched this episode, i'm the only one who noticed the harry and the hendersons reference >_>
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Except for the guy who mentioned it 4 or 5 posts above you, and all the other people who did.
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nice review, bad movie.
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You know what the best part is? At the time this was made, this movie would be considered shocking, but with the advent of Google and access to the viper's nest of weird s*** that is Japan's sense of what is controversial, we see this movie for what it truly is: what would happen if the guy from Las Vegas Bloodbath watched Congo and Zardoz back to back while smoking mushrooms.
*dances to the Disco version of We Are One* ...Yeah, I blame you for that, Brad. XD
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Great review,but why am I hearing a female comedian in the background??
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Weird bug. I click on the video to start, it plays that annoying Next Top Model ad, then it looks like it's playing Brad's review, then it plays the audio for another ad, than after that ad the whole things ends. I've tried watching this review at least a dozen times.
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Ditto. I've reloaded it 3 times now and ten seconds in the stupid Glee commercial comes on.
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Same here!
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Sometimes it happens to me too. I just usually let the ad play out and then reverse the video to the beginning in hopes that I can see it from the start.
What's happening now is once the first ad finish playing, the video will stop/pause and I have to start/unpause the video again. It's kind of odd, but I prefer that glitch than the one I described previously.
In reply to Brad's video itself:
And I thought "Drawing Flies" was a uber strange Sasquatch movie! O_o
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Something's going on with the video. As soon as the episode starts, I'm listening to audio clips from that Glee commercial over the episode's audio track, then it suddenly stops during your theme song.
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Yes. Same thing happend to me. I had to refresh about 4 times before that Evil Glee audio stopped playing. But tonight it will be in my nightmares. Well, if Lea Michele is in my dreams that's okay. But I'll probably get the gym teacher. Ugh!
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glee is trying to hijack the new cinema snob video
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So snob, did some jogging right before this review? Adidas track pants and suit jacket, fancy!
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The freakin' ads keep repeating and I cannot watch more than 30 seconds of the review before getting the end screen. Stupid Blip, stupid Glee, stupid fashion!
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I don't watch a lot of tv so I'm not familiar with Glee or this fashion show. But one thing that bothers me about both of these ads is that the gays act so stereotypically gay. I have always had a problem with people who advance stereotypes. Just tone it down a notch or two, thats all I'm asking.
Oh, and the You Gotta LOL lady, she is so painfully unfunny that it hurts to watch her. Although I do watch the ads because I like a good car wreck as much as the next guy. To end on a positive note, I care about your fiber. I care a lot.
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agreed I keep trying to watch this episode as well and it only plays like 30 seconds and the retarded glee commercial plays over the audio and when the commercial ends it cuts off the video
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WHAT THE FUCK
The sound is covered by a shitty ad, then it stops. refresh and i have to watch another ad for some ugly bitch with a retarded accent talking about other peoples "fashion"
ITS A FASHION EMERGENCY! It's a too much make up you old cow emergency more like. how did such an ugly bitch get on TV without the camera breaking, and how did such a shitty, vapid "fashion" show get made by a country where 60% of the population is on food stamps!??! AND THAT MUSIC DOES NOT MATCH THE FOOTAGE AT ALL!!!
And whilst that RUBBISH, this absolute DRIVEL gets millions in funding, Brad Jones, a genuinely gifted actor and film maker is stuck doing internet parodies and working with 2 week shooting schedules.
Fuck you America, fuck you!
I'm going back to Mount and Blade
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What in the name of God is with this video service? I mean, I watch one crappy commercial right before the video, I get to watch one immediately after the end of the video, that is something I can understand. But why do I have to listen an audio clip from the commercial DURING the video? Is this a joke or guys at blip.tv just found a better way of inserting ads everywhere? Why stop there then when you can just replace the video with a 15-minutes long series of commercial, eh, blip.tv?
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WTF? Something's wrong with the Ad system. There's one of those gay ass "Glee" ads playing over the audio, and when it ends the video ends. WHAT THE FUCK!
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WTF?!?!? opened full-screen and "YOU GOTTA LOL" whatever the fuck that is started? not the sound of that plays AND WONT STOP! OH GOD! I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR KIDS LOVE VIDEO GAME MORE THAN THEY LOVE YOU!
now it finally finished, and she wants to destroy all video games. It's like a study in why women are not funny and never will be.
so now i have to watch it in the small window. What the fuck man, what the fuck?
Also, if you Watch that mummified corpse "IMARN" fashion show project runway thing then please leave, this site features talent and ability, something you obviously have no interest in.
Also, when they made this movie, did nobody think "Man... we suck, in fact we should just kill ourselves because we suck so much!"
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I love the mispellings and grammatical mistakes in the opening text and narration. Actually, I gotta love the mere fact that there's opening text and narration in a sasquatch porn, but even more I love what the problems therein say about the production values. It's like the 70s equivalent of shot on shitteo.
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Also, for anyone having trouble with the video, if you're using Firefox, the Adblock Plus extension just removes the opening ad altogether. I usually turn it off when I'm watching Blip videos because I want to support the people who make them, but you might need it until they fix the problem with their ads.
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DO NOT SUPPORT AD BLOCKER. The ads are how I make my living. If you are a fan of this site, do not support ad blocker.
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They can just watch it again when they fix this problem, that way the get their fix and the you get the money. They could just start watching the reviews in youtube like a lot of Linkara's fans do and that way you loose public altogether.
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What the hell? I an't watch this video because the sound for that god damn Glee advert keeps playing over the top after the initial advert plays.
I hate these adverts.
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Damn, I was looking forward to watching this and I can't because of Blip's damn stupid ads, even if I turn adblock plus on it's exactly the same.
For the past week or two I've been having this problem on and off with several Blip videos. They seriously need to sort it out.
I'd love to watch and comment on your video Brad, but I can't because Blip are kinda screwing you here.
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I agree with Smegzilla, PLEASE find a different video host. Stagevu, veoh, dailymotion, whatever as long as it isn't blip. If I hadn't known better, I could've swore they were trying to annoy me on purpose.
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I wouldn't mind advertised videos if they didn't break whatever content you're trying to show.
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Well... this sucks...
If you, like me, can't see the video:
go to the blip.tv site itself and look up the video there. Worked for me.
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I meant the 'blip-not-working-thing' sucks, not the Cinema Snob episode!
I liked it!
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Thanks for the heads up. I was trying all last night to watch this video.
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Uhhh, Brad? There's something very wrong with this video. No, I don't mean the concept of Sasquatch porn- sadly, watching your reviews has inured me to all but goat-fucking.
I'm referring to the fact that that obnoxious stand-up comic is playing *over* your review. She's annoying enough when she pops up at the end, but this is damn near unwatchable! (And no, it's not a glitch. I reloaded it four times.)
Finally I had to pause the video (which didn't pause *her*) and just wait until her nasal squawkings died down before resuming my Snobby enjoyment.
Please, for the love of God, contact whoever handles your ads- they're screwing you over!
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Jesus h christ, I'm trying to watch the video but I keep hearing the goddamn ads that appear before the videos even while the video is playing. Blip's got pneumonia or something.
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Great episode. Was the introduction gag (At the very least, the google bit) genuinely inspired by your actual thought process when you discovered this? I'll laugh if it was.
I love Something Weird video though.
I also got a kick out of how they apparently got started. Apparently one of their founders was digging around a garbage bin and found a bunch of unmarked VHS tapes with schlock on them and they decided to release them. x3
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Ever since you mentioned this movie in one of your other reviews I've been dying you to watch review this!!!!
Well done!
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when im seeing brad´s vids i´m allways like : "what do his neighbours think when they see a dude in a karate suit,moving in the backyard,moving his lips but saying nothing AND when dude is standing in a bigfoot costume in front of his house,moving like on xtc (toomuch xtc)and a guy (brad...) comes after him with a gun...
HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO STILL LIVE THERE BRAD?
anyway - great work and... i love the usa for their view on violent stuff but we have more tits... and seeing those american reviews...i´m happy to live in germany were boobs are open2thepublic
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Yeah, too bad here in germany some douche would come and cencore these videos, because some of them are about "banned" movies or at least "indiziert" (which is some form of slight "banning" and implies, that it's not to shown anywhere, where people under 18 could see it, you know, like on homepages), like porn! (Which is completly "indiziert" for being porn.)
This review was fun again and after seeing "The Geek" I wondered, what you would make of this short, silly movie. The result is pretty great, although I really, really want to see more "movies" from Brad. His "Game Boys" was pretty good (and more entertaining than the last two movies I bought on dvd combined), but I'd really lik to see a funny horrorflic with the gang.
Well, until then, there's still Kung Tai Ted, whos getting better and better with all the cheesy-and-hilarious C-grade Actionshlockhommages!
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You know, when you typed up "sasquatch porn", I assumed you were either planning to make a special edition of SOFTLY FROM CABLE or to get Jillian involved in making your own version of SASCROTCH. The latter thought makes me almost as disturbed as THE GEEK does.
But yes, another top-notch Snob review. That ending just about made me piss myself laughing. I couldn't get through my bio test without hearing your voice say "That's just fucking stupid!"
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lmao great ending.
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Maybe its just my computer but after the first advertisement plays the video starts but all I hear is the audio from another F*$king commercial and after the commercial audio ends the enitre review ends without me even getting into the first two minutes of the review WTF?!?!?!?!
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If we are going to dump on Something Weird, dump on them for abandoning DVD for DVD-Rs that stop working after a month.
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Where is the sequel of this? You need a guy in a costume and some girls/boys.
Funny review.
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for fuck's sake just start uploading to youtube again, this shit sucks
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Maybe he will if your (and I mean you personally Mr. Butthurt-Freeloader) generous donations equal to or exceed the income he gets from using Blip. For fucks sake.
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You know I'm glad I didn't watch this earlier. The glitch would've got on my nerves til it was fixed; but the people who are complaining about the ads? You do realize this how these people get paid right? You want them to foresake a 'crappy' service so you can see it for free just because something is annoying..riight. It's a glitch that i have no doubt blip is working on, calm down.
As for the review. What the hell? I mean furry porn in the seventies? what the hell. And sadly i didn't hear the reference but hey if it's there it's there
As far as Taboo...is this hinting at another Cinema Snob video down the line? I'd like to see that
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Brad- I only got to watch a wee little bit of this morning before I had to -ugh!- go to work. But after I get home from the gym tonight, I'll snuggle up with the old iMac and watch the whole thing. This reminds me of the old 6 Million Dollar man two parter episode where Steve Austin encounters a hair robot Ted Cassidy and a sexy jumpsuited alien Stepanie Zimblist? Powers? When I was kid I wondered if Steve and the alien woman were doing some offscreen hankypanky. But now, I guess I am wondering what Ted must have been doing to Steve while he was unconsious on that operating table. As they say on Caprica: "Gods!"
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The Search for Sascrotch.
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Great review. Near the beginning, while watching the campers getting out of the van, I thought I saw someone standing on the hilltop (there's a dirt path leading upwards). I thought I saw the person move and then hold very still, as if realizing that they were in the shot.
Also, was it my imagination, or was the Sasquatch wearing dark highwater slacks and lace up shoes?
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Sorry Brad, your movie ending idea has already been done.
No Country For Old Men.
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I can't get the video to run at all.
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Why do upgrates always have to make everything worse than before? *sigh*
I can't even play the old videos anymore. This really frightens me. It would be a great pity if i wouldn't be able to watch Brat's videos anymore. I'm a big fan and watched every single video on this site and check the tweet on a daily basis to see whether there are new videos up on the site.
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(Sorry, i meant Brad, not Brat, of course.)
So ad blocker is the problem?
That's depressing. I'm not in the USA, so all those ads for products i couldn't buy and shows i cannot watch even if i wanted to are twice as annoying.
I thought artists who use Blip get payed by the amounts of clicks their videos generate, no matter whether people watch the ads or not?
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Thank goodness this isn't glitched any more!
And for the record, I wasn't trying to campaign for you to change away from Blip yesterday, when it works it works. Just that when Blip screws up, it tends to do it with style!
Finally... I cannot believe this movie was ever made... oh man...
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You know you have a low budget when your voice actors phone it in.
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DO NOT SUPPORT AD BLOCKER. The ads are how I make my living. If you are a fan of this site, do not support ad blocker. Ad blocker is like a big fuck you to not just my site, but all of our sites.
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There where theories you where from the old 4 leaves.
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Wow, what happened to your camera? I'm getting YouTube quality blur here.
Something Weird isn't a producer; they just pick up old obscure public domain stuff other people made & make money off of it. The Wonderful Land of Oz from 1969 wasn't bad.
Do you scare your neighbors Bard? lol XD "Mornin honey, saw a guy in a gorilla costume dry humping the neighbor a few minutes ago. He was waving his gun around, just like he always does."
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I men't "Brad." I really need to start spellchecking before I post.
So, have you ever seen the stupid Lord of the Rings porn spoof?
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Say what you want, Lord of the G-Strings is at least honest.
"What are you doing here?"
"The producer said there wasn't enough sex."
Pure comedic gold.
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These last few reviews have been some of the best ever. I really dug the Dolemite review, that's up there with your features on Rikki Oh,Mattei's Terminator 2, Blood Freak, Brazilian Star Wars, and of course,Caligula ("You're Cruel", BLAAARRGH! i almost died,man). Well Sasquatch features were certainly big back in the 70's, so i guess that the prospect of finding a porn/sasquatch was not impossible (hard but not impossible). I am trying to find myself a copy of a blaxploitation/western titled Boss Nigger, which i came across wondering if there was ever an spaghetti western/blaxploitation film; it features Fred Williamson, which is enough for me to seek it out.
Anyway, back to the review, nice work! I lol'ed at the end, really,,, it caught me by surprise while watching your video. "That's it?"
Saludos desde Puerto Rico, hogar de Bacardi.
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Don't know what's the reason, but I see several people has this proble outside of my country.
In Norway, the commercial just keep playing over the video. When the commercial is over, the video ends.
Can't watch it.
Switch your bloody ad-thingie, they're also showing porn when it's outside the US.
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Another norwegian Snob fan? I thought I was the only one.
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Nope, there's more of us!
We got brains ya know, hehe.
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Ah, of course, that's why you chose them, you knew they were sending porn-ads, which fits you show well, but only on the outside of the US. That's really low Brad.
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Please tell me that Travis Crabtree will be making other appearances. He was such a dynamic and interesting character, the way he handed the Snob his mail. I'm seeing a spin off show with 80's Dan and Travis Crabtree. Please make this happen as soon as you can Brad. I know you have a lot on your plate but you're sitting on a gold mine with this one.
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I hope you do one of the many Terminator Porn Spoof, like the golden classic "The Penetrator" with Whoody Long.
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Sorry Brad, I love your site and a lot of your videos, but the annoying AD bug on this video forced me to track down the URL and just download it.
I really hope the bug gets fixed soon -- I hate doing that because, as you've said, the ads give you money.
On review: Well... Can't say I'm surprised there is such a thing. After all, I have seen Fritz the Cat, the animated movie. Guess I'm desensitized to the more... Furry, related stuff.
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"That's fucking stupid!" That line, and watching Jerrid's sexy naked body, pretty much made me reach nirvana right there. kudos, Brad.
BTW, WHEN'S THE NEXT BRUNO MATTEI SHOW??
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well here is a gorilla rape flick: Devassidao Total. pure gold
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I like the idea that the snob's actual name is Cinema Snob.
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I gotta say, I really liked the Taboo movies. I even liked the knock-off "Taboo, American Style" movies.
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Unwatchable, it either plays an ad & starts the video put plays an ads audio over thtop of it and then ends 30 seconds in, or it just plays an ad and doesn't load the video.
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Why do I here an advertisement playing in the background and then the video stops? Anyone have that problem?
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I do.
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This is the first time a Snob video has made me want to watch the movie he's reviewing. That says a lot about me, I think.
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beautiful
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lol, that was an awesome review. The part where Sasquatch first appears when the lights go out was kind of creepy.....lol.
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There is something wrong with the video. It plays one advertisement then the video starts but the audio of another ad plays over it. When the other ad ends the blip player shit pops up over the video making it totally unwatchable
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This review was hilarious! I was watching at work with my headphones and kept laughing out loud! It was too funny to stop watching esp. the bit about the IMDB website. Great stuff
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only $50 huh? That's not too bad considering my Jesus costume was $70! What was I thinking?!
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100 was what he said the costume costs if I recall rightly.
Plus he did several uses out of the thing which is what really matters.
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Okay I came to see if the audio glitch was fixed, but now when i am watching the ad before you video Brad the audio is garbling and it carries over into you video.
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Ugh. It's like someone watched Boggy Creek and said, "Great film, but needs more genitalia."
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I'm surprised no one's referenced the Fucksquatch from Patton Oswalt's recent CD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEl6AI4-5Sg#t=02m25s
"Honey get yer camera, take a blurry picture of Fucksquatch!"
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That has to be the funniest ending I've ever seen you reference in your reviews. The Geek is so far the funniest porn/pariody trash you've reviewed so far!
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Wow...
I've heard of pornos with names like "Naughty Midget Schoolgirls IX" that had more coherent plots.
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Just so you know since you seem to love the bad porn parodies, there's a worse one out there.
Check out This Isn't Roseanne.
That's right, it's a porn parody of the sitcom Roseanne.
Can guarantee it makes ET and Bigfoot look sexy!
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Is this ending a reference to an American werewolf in London?
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rule 34
if it exists there IS porn of it. no exeptions
learn the rules of the internet.
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I admit, you looked pretty badass holding that pistol. I can tell you took the time to learn how to do it properly to cut the action hero figure.
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The announcer at the start was the same guy who shot the original footage frm Demented death Farm Massacre
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I seen a newer sasquatch porn filmed around 2001,and its all sasquatch sex 2 of them DP a chick
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Nicely post of "The Geek".
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Some say that in the ending they see a dead sasquatch transform into a naked Jerrid.
I only saw a naked Jerrid.
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whoa brad you like FLCL?
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Dear Snob, you made a plot hole with the beginning scene. You already knew about Big Foot porn in your ET episode, how could you discover it just now?
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