Reviews: "Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus" & "Mega Piranha"
It's a Mega New Years Weekend with The Asylum!
First up, it's "Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus" featuring Robert Picardo as a captain of a submarine filmed next to a train stop!
Then, it's Dr. Tiffany in "Mega Piranha"!
First up, it's "Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus" featuring Robert Picardo as a captain of a submarine filmed next to a train stop!
Then, it's Dr. Tiffany in "Mega Piranha"!
Damn, Crocasaurus isnt even out in germany yet!
Ever since you started these "In-Car-Reviews" I'm seriously waiting for the lights to go out. It's an essential part of these reviews!
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Have you seen The Asylum's attempt at a raunchy teen sex comedy called "The 18 Year Old Virgin"?
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...or the new version of "Moby Dick"?
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Cant wait for Thor Asylum RICHARD GRIECO
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Have you seen Sharktopus yet? Cause when I think CGIsploitation I think Sharktopus!
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A drunk actor? That reminds me of the late great Wendell Corey.
And have you seen Sharktopus? Roger Corman's latest flick (and more CGI-sploitation).
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Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus is supposed to be the direct sequal to Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus, which on its own might be the sequal to Monster. However, another Asylum film coming out this month titled Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid is supposed to have both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in it, so I'm guessing this is part of that "franchise" too.
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(Hate to be off-topic, but here goes!)
I caught some Three Stooges myself though most of the New Years to me was dedicated to watching Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Two comedy greats that never goes out of style!
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Hehe, I remember back last year when I was in high school me and some friends of mine talked about how awful Mega Piranha was in the morning waiting for classes back when it premiered on Syfy.
I'm not really much of an Asylum fan. I saw one of their war of the world movies and some of I am Omega, awful shit. I kinda wanna see the Sherlock Holmes movie, due to, well, just the poster for that thing. Looks like one of those hilariously awful movies. Kind of have interest in Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus too.
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Brad, I really hate to say this, but you do not know what you are talking about when it comes to what is good and what is crap for CGI. Admittedly most of the time this is suggestive as to what "looks real" but in this case you are wrong on a technical level.
The special effects in Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus were far better than Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus. At what point in the first movie does the CGI interact with anything in the live action footage? NEVER. Not even once. The closest you get is maybe background scenery. That, and the fact that the monsters in the film NEVER ACTUALLY FIGHT (it looks more like they are having sex as Film Brain put it) makes the special effects terrible. In MSvC, you get monsters interacting with the live action footage and -they actually fight each other-.
Also you are far to quick to dismiss a film's CGI special effects in general. I agree films are using CGI over practical effects way to liberally nowadays (CGI blood should be a cinematic crime), however, many of the movies you criticize as having fake-looking special effects only look that way if you are purposely looking for the CGI - the same as any other kind of special effect.
Some films just would not look right without CGI either. The Pirates of the Carribean movies, Transformers, The Incredible Hulk, the Sam Rami Spirderman film series, etc. Also in all the films I mentioned the CGI looks good and real.
All that said, Mega Shark Vs. Crocosaurus was an entertaining film and I am glad you recommended it over its predecessor.
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hey deserteagle.... i seriously, seriously doubt that anyone gives a shit.
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If "nobody gives a shit" than why is Brad Jones constantly commenting on this subject? Including this very video? People having differing opinions does not mean people do not care.
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CGI looks like a cartoon no matter what side of the screen you're looking at. It looks cheap, hollow, and completely takes you out of the movie.
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This is a completely ignorant generalization. Good CGI effects can't be seen at all when they are used to augment practical effects. Movie monsters will ALWAYS look fake no matter if they are CGI, animatronic, or stop motion additionally the CGI will usually look better than the alternatives. When used correctly CGI will either be invisible, or apparent due to the fact that the effect cannot be created any other way. It's only a tool and shouldn't be judged by what Asylum or Syfy do with it.
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Unique to see you reviewing Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus since I just saw the movie won the "Title-So-Bad-Its-Good" award for the Straight-to-DVD Awards (Although, it's only because Sharktopus wasn't actually released on DVD). Sounds crazy, so I'll watch for it on SyFy one day.
Personally, I'm interested in the family movie that The Asylum recently made called "The Princess in the Pony" ("AKA 1st Furry Valentine"). It'll be hilarious if they can unleash their brand of insanity on the whole family.
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I love the lighting in the car. Looks like your about to talk about how "horror has a face" lol.
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This section should be called "Car Reviews with Brad!" or "Brad Does It In The Car!" Though maybe next time you should just bring in a flashlight or something, even though I always laugh when the lights go out in the car in the middle of your review.
Either way I totally agree, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is such a terrible, guilty pleasure just like Mega Shark Vs. Octopus.
I hope Film Brain doesn't fly in from the UK and give you a Bad Movie Beatdown for reviewing Mega Piranha after he did it (then again he didn't do it off the cuff in the car, and besides I like seeing two opinions on the same movie).
Thanks for the reviews Brad
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Wow, Asylum sure has some fun.
Barely related, but I just saw a hilarious Japanese "horror" movie called "Carved: The Slit Mouth Woman". Unlike this, I don't think it was intentionally bad. It's just awful. There's some bad CG there too (unlike you, I think CG is just like any other tool and when it works, it works great, and when it doesn't, it's just weird), namely a point where there's supposed to be "blood" out someone's slashed up mouth, and it just looks like a cheap photoshop effect. The premise is some Japanese urban legend about a murderous woman with a terrible ear to ear cut across her face that asks people if she looks pretty, reveals the scar after they answer, and then disfigures them the same way. Too bad the movie just sort of slaps that in there!
The whole movie has some of the worst acting I've seen, and I tend to give movies where I'm not familiar with the way the language is "normally" spoken a lot of tolerance. That does lead to some of the most hilarious "violence" ever though. The acting is just so robotic, like they were reading the script WHILE doing it.
My favorite part is how EVERY woman in this movie is a horrible child abuser, even the "sympathetic" main character. It gets pretty awful, but thanks to how stilted and robotic everyone is, that makes it completely hilarious. There's a part during a flashback where a woman lines up her kids in a corner and walks up to them, one at a time, and equally timed, just winds up a closed fist and punches each one to the ground in turn. Hard to describe, but in action it's about the most hilarious child abuse I've ever seen (there's a sentence I hope I never use again). Combine that with just about every 90's horror movie cliché in the book and you end up with comedy gold.
It's on Netflix right now with "cover art" that looks like a modern "Saw" style horror movie, which is the only disappointment. They should have gone with something that looked like a 90's art style. The monster's got a Glasgow Smile, they should have done something like that at an angle. Oh, but here's some comedy, the creature they show on the cover looks NOTHING like what you see in the movie. In fact the creature you see make it's first appearance in the movie looks nothing like what it looks like for the rest of the movie. It's completely nonsensical and thus funny.
Speaking of nonsensical, the "story" is hilariously slapped together. They wanted all these awkward plot elements, but apparently couldn't figure out how to work them together seamlessly, so they just sort of tossed them at you one at a time, barely connected, hoping some of it would stick. The urban legend doesn't make much sense because given the revealed "motivation" of the monster, it makes no sense for her to be asking "do I look pretty?", and in fact after her origin story is told she stops using that entirely, like they were literally writing the story as they went along.
Give this stupid movie a watch some time.
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Brad, did you mean the Orinoco River?
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You self-righteous bastard Snob! 80's Dan had the right to life as any cliche' sentient life form. Willing him out of existence was just wrong. Who is next on psionic hitlist? Yahoo Serious? Carrot Top? No I see it all clearly now. What insolence that you would will Bob Saget into a murder suicide love pact with his former co-star Stamos. Does your reigning terror never end? Oh and came across the little gem of a film in the bargain bin via Walmart. DEATH SPA! Why capitalized you may ask? Well that is how much punishment it can dish out. Being anally raped with a garden weasel was mild by comparison. stamp date is 1988 but was released via the states 1990. Its alternative title is and I shit you not, Witch Bitch. Enjoy this little matières fécales dans un bol à punch. Still I can honestly say it is nowhere near the mind numbing pain that Death Bed The Bed That Eats was but that is comparing getting your cock riveted to a concrete slab vs bowel surgery by the ghost of Katherine Hepburn after 6 cups of coffee and armed with a weed whacker as the main implement.
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There needs to be a brad in the car series. it is always funny when your there.
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I enjoy Giant monster movies and that's why I Hate these films. Look I realize some people have fun with them MST3K style but when they are just "Manufacturing the Camp", with no sense of comic timing it comes off more stupid than funny. They don't care, they aren't trying to make a good movie or even a fun movie, just flicks to make DVD release dates with a few s shots that will make it on to clip shows like "The Soup" Any thoughts?
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You should go and see rare exports if it is still showing.
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I wonder, don't your neighbors call the police at one point when you sit alone in your car for an hour with a camera? ^^
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the article is very useful for me.
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Did Brad Jones just coin the term "CGI-sploitation" or is he just the only person who uses it (don't get me wrong, I wouldn't expect anything less from him).
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Brad, couple things you should be aware of:
1) Megasnake. It's NOT an Asylum flick. It's actually made by First Look studios. Dunno if you're familliar, but they make a lot of the same sort of schlock as The Asylum, but a lot of the time they'll manage to get B list actors (as opposed to the Asylum's typical C-list or TV actors) and they seem to be more interested in making thrillers and dramas rather than action flicks. Occasionally they'll veer into CGI-sploitation, tho, and Megasnake is probably their best effort thus far. Come for the snake, stay for the two redneck MacGuyvers that turn their beat up pickup truck into a giant driving flame thrower / gun ship. There's also a pretty hilarious scene featuring a giant snake on a State Fair ride.
2) There's a podcast called Down In Front where every episode is basically an alternative commentary track for a movie. You can synch up the movie with their podcast and watch it that way. It's sorta like Rifftrax, only not just about being funny. One of the regulars on that show directed 2010: Moby Dick, and they did a DIF of that movie, which basically served as his director's commentary. So if you wanted to know a bunch more about how they make their films, that guy basically tells it like it is at the Asylum. It's pretty funny as well, tho
http://www.downinfront.net/
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I actually did see Mega piranha on Scifi a while back, the ending was hilarous "OMG SUICIDE BOMBER PIRANHAS!!!"
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I actually watched a funny, in a dark way, and entertaining 80's B-Movie the other day. It was Toxic Avenger by Troma. It was extremely violent, and raunchy but humorous. I know its not a porno, but it might as well be with all the sex, but it would be great to see a snob or regular review of this movie. The gore is used for parody purposes and there is little to no budget.
Thanks,
Sorry for the unrelated post and request.
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This movies WAS actually aired on SyFy, I think I watched like for two seconds before switching the channel, that's all I neded to know I wouldn't like it.
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Four words, MEGA PYTHON VERSUS GATOROID. Epicness!
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