Reviews: "Battle: Los Angeles" and "Battle OF Los Angeles"
First up, it's the big budget alien invasion film "Battle: Los Angeles."
But more importantly, here are my thoughts on The Asylum's "Battle OF Los Angeles" which premiered earlier tonight.
But more importantly, here are my thoughts on The Asylum's "Battle OF Los Angeles" which premiered earlier tonight.
The ship powered by the old Sci-Fi logo had us cracking up. And time-traveling Elvis
Reply to this
I have a feeling that neither of these films will top Rage Against the Machine's album THE Battle of Los Angeles.
Reply to this
So, they made an alien movie that's also a war movie? Interesting concept, but it seems they didn't do it justice. Let's just wait for someone to come along a few years from now and do it justice.
Reply to this
I only saw the theatrical release yesterday, because I never bother to watch those knock-offs from Asylum! Battle: Los Angeles was OK, because it's entertaining in its own way but don't expect anything Oscar-worthy!
You might like Roger Ebert's quote from his review show. "It's only March, but it's the worst film of the year and for all years!"
Reply to this
Michelle Rodriguez is awesome because she's made an entire career playing Vasquez from Aliens.
Reply to this
Finally! Somebody agrees that the mothership had a District 9 feeling to it. I was thinking I was alone when that came up. And what the hell was with the scene at the end when the aliens are just staring at the platoon, then the scene ends?
I agree with the characters. I'm on IMDb, and I only remember half the characters. And its weird to me that that the two girls who were at the police station didn't have a line (at least I don't remember them having it) yet they are credited with having names. Maybe it just flew over my head,but whatever. I did remember most of them, but not their names.
I think this would have been a lot better if it had an R rating. More gore depicting the violence that comes with combat. (as the Snob said with Saving Private Ryan) Now the movie wasn't awful, there's just a lot of things they could have done to make it better.
Reply to this
Finally someone else who loves Michelle Rodriguez. My friends think I'm stupid because as we were leaving Avatar they asked me who my favorite character was and I told them Rodriguez's character. Needless to say I got blank stares pretty much the rest of the night.
Reply to this
Hey, her character was awesome in Avatar...and her death made no sense. They basically did it just because they ran out of ideas for her. But hey, at least it is said Trudy will be back (basically every human is cloned) for the sequel.
Reply to this
I think your cat really dislikes Battle: Los Angeles. The little guy was yowling during your discussion of the film.
Reply to this
I'm all for the scripted series on Asylum movies.
Reply to this
That "Battle: LA" movie sounds really awful. The director (another music-video hack) is the same guy who did "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning," which I thought was BY FAR the worst film of the series. Just complete garbage, and no suspense at all since it's a prequel.
Also, the Asylum equivalent of the movie sounds like a total ripoff of "Wild Zero." Samurai swords and flying orbs? Really?
Reply to this
I'd love to see you do a series reviewing the Asylum movies, You could call it "Taking over the Asylum"
Reply to this
I don't know why but I suddenly have the desire to get myself a Siamese cat.
Reply to this
He was definitely going to try to feed the Reese's Pieces to the alien, because he says something along the lines of, "It loves that stuff!"
Reply to this
Great Review Brad! I thought Battle: LA was still a pretty entertaining movie nontheless because it was 1:30 minutes of action as opposed to most of the movies nowadays that always try and adds a love story. That said, it got a bit ridiculous in the end when the movie wouldn't end.
Reply to this
Brad well done.
So Battle LA has a big budget and is pretty poor. It's also from the chap wot gave the world TCM:The Beginning-a god awful movie from mid budget Asylum knock off company Platinum Dunes.
Battle of Los Angeles is from the Asylum and was made for the Sci Fy channel. This angers people who think the major studios are populated by creative geniuses or something. Look, the major's, when they aren't remaking better movies, have been recycling the same scripts, cliches and tired sequences for decades. The directors are mostly hacks and have bigger budgets for food than The Asylum spend on entire films! We're not talking about the difference between gifted film makers and soulless morons. It's the difference between expensive wasteful crap and something you watch on TV that's so blatant it makes you smile. So the Asylum gets my vote.
But the big question is whether or not Battle of Los Angelese is better than Aliens V Ninjas?
Reply to this
For the record the reason Nia Peebles had an eye patch in the last part of "Battle OF LA" was because when the "Steve Wild Bill Rodgers" started killing everyone in the Underground base he spit green venom in her face, and they couldn't afford burn makeup to sell it. And I think the sphere that popped out of his head was the real "Rodgers" and when it got back to mothership it went into a new Rodgers body ( I got to say I didn't expect a "Phantasm" ripoff in the middle of this mess) I might not mind these knockbusters so much if they planned out some coherent CG sequences rather than just throw a bunch of random shots together in a random. Anyone catch how the Airbase was a rundown Motel six? didn't even keep a lighton for us LOL
Reply to this
The Asylum movie made me angry. The military was incompetatn to the extreme. I don't care if these were national guard they were incompetant.
What the fuck was with the Patton ripoff guy? Why the hell didn't he shot the pilot who refused to take off whose actions btw caused the deaths of many of his fellow pilots since they couldn't take off in time?
Then you got the thing about the ICBMs which last time I checked held nuclear warheads plus it's an aerial detonation they don't impact and explode nor would they be able to be shot down by a jet.
What the fuck was the goal of the aliens? How did they know these aliens were slaves instead of controlling the drones and the ship?
There are a few other things that boggle the mind. Street gang to refer to a fighter group? Wtf is that? No one in the military actually talks like that. Emp used when it takes out the forces on your own side in the area. Honestly they can make equipment that can survive emp blasts and function throughout modern equipment with modern cpus, etc. It's just shielded. Even civilians can buy pcs that are rated as shielded from emp. Also why did they want to take Rogers to the alien so quickly instead of you medically examing him since he claimed to have been abducted? You would think that be standard because I don't know the aliens who kidnapped may have done something to him so we should check him out.
The Asylum rip off things but they do it incompetantly. It's not a matter of budget either it's just incompetance. It's not well written or thought out.
Reply to this
Are you kidding me? Black Hawk Down had an actual sense of suspense. What alien war film have you seen wherein the aliens win? Plus, Black Hawk Down didn't employ the dreaded shaky cam, and is genuinely well shot.
Also, funny you should mention Jerry Bruckheimer, because he actually produced Black Hawk Down. Take your PG fucking action and shove it up your ass, Battle: Los Angeles!
Reply to this
"Black Hawk Down" is a better movie than "Battle: Los Angeles," but both movies had the same concept of a being basically a 2hr combat movie, and those type of movies bore me to tears.
Forgot Bruckheimer produced "Black Hawk." Aside from that exception, Bruckheimer is notorious for either cutting films down to a PG-13 or deliberately shooting for a PG-13.
Reply to this
I had to watch Battle:Los Angeles for a homework assignment and I wish I would've pirated it or something. The last time I was that bored at the theater was during Cloverfield.
By the way, are you going to check out Super? I remember your interest in Kick-Ass, and I hear this is just as bloody and comedic, with a dark twist.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctcURFb7XE4
Reply to this
The context of the Asylum is their shows fill a couple of hours on the Scify channel. You have not remortgaged your cat to pay for a cinema ticket, stumped up even more to see it in atmospheric 3D and the makers do not think it's a work of art so staggering it deserves quadruple disc DVD and interactive blu ray special editions. The Asylum make low budget TV shows that some of us look forward to. And in your own house you can smoke, drink, talk loudly and fart as much as you like.
As for incompetent. The actors learn their lines quickly, the budgets are non existent and the shows zip along. Gladiator cost millions. It features ancient roman gas canisters, wobbling swords, PVC armour, numerous continuity errors, music borrowed from Zulu and an ending that would embarrass Cecil B Demille. It was directed by the man who gave us Black Hawk Down an allegedly realistic war film that features black American and South African actors playing North African and Arab looking Somalians. Now that is incompetent.
Reply to this
"wobbling swords"
Which ones wobbled? Usually movies use metal swords that are double thickness then a real sword. Said prop swords hurt like a bitch when they hurt, they can actually kill someone.
Reply to this
OK poetic licence, the swords don't wobble but a couple of the spears and the metal spikes on the amazon women's helmet wobble and bend. And Commodus's armour is and looks PVC because Joaquin Phoenix is a vegan and refused to wear leather. There are loads continuity mistakes and I ain't watching it again just to point them out..
Plus after the opening battle when crow is stroking his horse a technician in jeans can clearly be seen walking backwards out of the frame. The dagger used to kill phoenix at the end certainly does appear to bend upwards, which is a bit like wobbling. But my point is that this is a big budget Oscar ladened movie not something banged out in a couple of day for a TV channel.
Reply to this
FUCK YOU! srsly. FUCK, FUCKIN YOU! you mother fucker.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
brad is such a cunning linguist! i wish my vocabulary was as large as his
Reply to this
Correction, Rogers is a Lieutenant and not a Captain, and his first name is Peter. Not this matters at all, but I just thought I'd point that out. You can find more info about it on Wikipedia or IMDB.
Reply to this
Also, this is interesting. The actor who played Lt. Pete Rogers (Dylan Vox) used to be a gay porn actor. lol!
Under the name "Brad Benton,"[2] Vox performed in gay pornographic films and was nominated for over 12 GayVN Awards and 15 Grabby Awards, winning Best Supporting Actor at the GayVN Awards in 2004 and 2005 and nine Grabby awards over all.[3]
Reply to this
Actually there was a second line to the Reese's Pieces bit the guy says after finding out no one has them, "For some reason he [the alien] really likes them".
Reply to this
Oh and the ship like a bullet bit, they actually call it either lightspeed or hyperspeed when they go for that maneuver. So many things wrong with that considering it's not like they were miles away from the ship they attack with it lol.
Reply to this
Battle: LA is a fu--ing Warhammer 40K Movie. Damn Xeno infestation. FOR THE EMPEROR! ^^
Reply to this
I probably enjoyed this movie a little more than you did, but you made some good points about it. It's not a great movie and barely a good movie, but it was fun to watch. And I'd agree that beginning part introducing the characters was not needed, or at least should have been pushed faster.
And yes, I love Michelle Rodriguez! Even if she's been in quite a bit of crap movies, she makes the movies at least bearable to watch.
Reply to this
Frankly, I enjoyed this movie. It's just a cheesy action flic that doesn't disapoint in the entertainment department. I'd hate to be anti-snob here but some movies just aren't made for scrutiny! And the movie didn't do THAT much wrong. It was just passable. I went in expecting a cheesy action flic and went out having experienced a cheesy action flic. I was satisfied with it and I don't have any remorse to have put money down on it. Sure, I won't be remembering the movie any time soon, and it isn't going to be a long lasting achievement, but it gets what a lot of film makers fail to grasp. FUN. Movie nowadays just aren't that fun. But, anyways, that's just my opinion.
Reply to this
fifj w fbxxea
Reply to this
Hi, Thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece of information. I must say that while reading your post I found my thoughts in agreement with the topic that you have discussed, which happens very rare.
Reply to this
Yeah, Battle L.A. is forgettable. It's just there, there's very little to it. Plus, the aliens were dumb to use soldiers rather than robots; it's not impossible, they had drones!
However, I highly recommend the XBLA game version over the movie. Is it a good FPS? Not really, but it's hilarious! The stupid cut scenes, the rag-doll physics and the Congraturations Ending makes it a worthwhile laugh!
Reply to this
After seeing reviews for Battle LA I thought it would be good but Independence DAY IN 1998 with Will Smith was FAR BETTER. This was a poor excuse and I didnt know any of the cast except for singer NEYO who barely uttered anything and M Rodriguez was lousy too. I usually enjoy these films but Battle LA was enough to make me go to sleep. I skipped through the boring chapters when the americans were given a pep talk by Aaron Eckerts character which made me realise the Americans are so full of themseleves it's unreal!!
I think this film and Skyline which was even worse should be deleted as you cant compare it with anything. Drab acting, action so so, special effects sort of good but overall I would give this rubbish film 4 out of 10 and only buy it if it was 99p. BAD.
Reply to this
1996 not 1998
Reply to this