Las Tortugas Pinjas (The Ninja Turtles Porno)

Perverts in a Half Shell!

Posted by thecinemasnob at 3/15/2011 3:27 PM
Categories: The Cinema Snob
 

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  • 3/15/2011 3:34 PM Alex wrote:
    You know, I've seen a lot of things in life. Beyond 2 girls 1 Cup, far beyond, into the realms of Driller and Sexual Emotions of a Donkey. And I will admit to having looked at April O'neil Hentai. But this, this is too much.

    Great review!
    Reply to this
    1. 3/15/2011 4:06 PM Foxhack wrote:
      If you think that's too much, then you haven't seen the TMNT porn comic created by ARCHIE COMICS STAFF.
      Reply to this
      1. 3/17/2011 12:46 AM Imagica wrote:
        Didn't Cracked.com mention that in an article?
        Reply to this
      2. 6/1/2011 11:41 PM Fairfield wrote:
        Please tell me more! I am intrigued!
        Reply to this
      3. 6/1/2011 11:49 PM Fairfield wrote:
        TELL ME MORE! I MUST SEE THAT!
        Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 3:34 PM Jason wrote:
    Wow, First time No ad in the beginning!?!?!?!! IT must be the end of the world!!!!!
    Reply to this
    1. 3/15/2011 4:37 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
      Would you want your company associated with this? Would you like to have your ass medieviled by the company whose add you attached to this?
      Reply to this
      1. 3/15/2011 4:44 PM PaPPa JUDAS wrote:
        I saw an add prior to the show. of all things a CLOROX stain fighter add before this. Perhaps I find that funny because now I'm dead inside thanks to the Argentinian porn industry.
        Reply to this
        1. 3/15/2011 4:48 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
          Have a drink from "Redneck Zombies" then...
          Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 3:40 PM shocked wrote:
    well, good bye childhood
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 3:59 PM LucasChad wrote:
    Imagine sneaking this tape into James Rolfe's VHS collection, and imagine what his reaction to it would look like. My guess it would be the same reaction to the Clubber Glitch from the Rocky PS2 game!
    Reply to this
    1. 7/28/2011 11:37 AM Albert C wrote:
      LMAO!!!!! Oh I think so too! And if I recall his reaction to the "Clubber-fuck" glitch was priceless!!!
      Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:01 PM Foxhack wrote:
    Good lord.

    Okay, quick translation: "Concha" is a slang word for vagina in some Spanish speaking languages. And Pingas is a slang word for penis.

    *cue Robotnik videos*

    Also, if you need someone to translate this stuff for ya, look me up. I'm bored and need translation work to pad the resume.
    Reply to this
    1. 3/16/2011 4:15 AM Danny from Puerto Rico wrote:
      Dude! Do you really want "Translated slang words for penis and vagina in an Argentinian Ninja Turtles parody" as part of your resume??
      Reply to this
    2. 3/16/2011 3:23 PM Lexxa wrote:
      And it means "jizz" in Russian.
      Laughed my ass off.
      Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:02 PM Adam wrote:
    Pinjas turtles, ya ya ya! Konchadunga!

    This was WAAAAY worse than Batman porn. Actually.. I'm not so sure about that. And why did April look like a three peso hooker?
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:08 PM Trevor wrote:
    Augh! That is just....wrong on so many levels! Why did this exist? I think I can hear my childhood crying in the corner.....
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:16 PM Filip wrote:
    "Fin? Of course this isn't the end, in the sequel they find out the Secret of the Ooze!"

    LMAO
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:28 PM dwu0601 wrote:
    Actors dress in dollar store costumes. All things considered I'm not surprised.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:32 PM Joel wrote:
    Admittedly, this was funny, but the Italian Batman review was way funnier.

    Oh, and in regards to my childhood: after the third movie bombed, porn was inevitable, I guess.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:32 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
    Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get it up!
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:33 PM Magnus Mefisto wrote:
    I'm from Argentina.
    Thanks for your review of this national shame haha.
    Greetings!
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 4:33 PM PaPPa JUDAS wrote:
    So thats what it's like to literaly watch your childhood being raped
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:03 PM Jonathan wrote:
    Tortuga is "turtle", not torture. I think torture probably matches the film better. Keep up the great work! I check your site daily and you seldom disappoint. I enjoy your stuff better than anything on TGWTG, Spoony, or anyone else on the internet. Thank you.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:13 PM Anonymous wrote:
    Uh, did any one else think the theme song sounded like it was saying "penis touchers"?
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:25 PM Terrence Cain wrote:
    What? No Shredder, Splinter, Krang, Bebop & Rock Steady, Casey Jones, or any other memorable characters from the Ninja Turtles series? lol! Man, that's just as bad as the Italian Batman porn. Thanks for the sharing, Brad.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:25 PM Federico wrote:
    Horrible fucking shit also they spelled mision with one s because that's how it's spell in Argentina
    Reply to this
    1. 3/15/2011 7:02 PM Brad wrote:
      I know, I just liked that joke =)
      Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:30 PM DuosAngel wrote:
    My inner child is crying right now and I'm not sure if it'll stop any time soon. At least I got a great review out of it.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:34 PM Federico wrote:
    Horrible fucking movie also i'm from Argentina and i have to say i liked the fact that you reviewed a movie from my country
    Last note:Mision with one S is spell right in argentina
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:40 PM Kevin McGill wrote:
    Wow...that was a stinker. But the thing that shocked me most were the references...seems Brad knows Turtles.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 5:56 PM systemclash wrote:
    CAN'T. GET. CLEAAANNN!
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 6:04 PM Narzo wrote:
    WTF
    i'm from argentina and this is to fucking much!
    "konchadunga"? really?
    pd: please review "Los Pinjapiedras"
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 6:27 PM Aliendrone wrote:
    THAT'S FROM ARGENTINA ?!! fuck , i'm from argentina too ! i'm ashame hahahaha , my god...
    Reply to this
    1. 5/24/2011 10:19 PM Ger wrote:
      Im an Argentinian and im ashamed too...
      Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 7:05 PM Nicolas Verdi wrote:
    When I was a little kid in Argentina, this movie was almost a myth between youngs of my age. I didn't know it really existed until few years ago.

    Yep, they didn't spend much money on porn on those times here, but it seems they had a lot of fun doing it.

    To understand better a most of scenes in the movie, It's important to know that the bad girls released some kind of poison that kills men when they ejaculate. But at the end, the turtles realizes that they're inmune, and that the antidote to that poison is turtle's...
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 7:58 PM The King of Thessaly wrote:
    Hahaha!!! The Leatherhead joke made this for me! You truly are a fan of the source-material... I guar-an-tee!!!
    -Now where did Slash and the Rat King fit into this flick???
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 8:08 PM Revenge Creature wrote:
    So, the director has the same name as the villian in the first "Beverly Hills Cop"...ummm, in..teresting?
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 8:47 PM rudy023 wrote:
    TURTLE POWER! (Gotta love any video with a Basket Case reference in it too!)
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 8:52 PM SpazOutLoud wrote:
    hahaha! The secret of the ooze joke! nice!
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 8:58 PM BooRat wrote:
    Thank you Argentina for Raping my childhood!
    Reply to this
    1. 3/16/2011 11:23 AM Aliendrone wrote:
      you are welcome
      Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 10:33 PM Justin wrote:
    I think Ralph from The Sopranos enjoyed getting "The Shredder" that guy was into some sick shit sex wise.
    Reply to this
  • 3/15/2011 10:37 PM Immortal wrote:
    nice basket case reference
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 12:14 AM Anonymous wrote:
    Am I the only one who thought this was going to be about this video?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujxv2h0wfUA
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 12:42 AM skrag2112 wrote:
    Why do I get a horrible feeling you will be doing a smurf porn parody next?
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 2:02 AM Suka wrote:
    So is there going to be a Gargoyles Porn?
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 2:23 AM Draconis wrote:
    butthurt much?
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 3:32 AM Lai-Lai wrote:
    "I know these are cheap costumes, but they don;t even look like turtles; they look like Superman, after getting raped!"

    lol XD
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 4:07 AM Wanderer wrote:
    Okay, I watched your ET The Porno review and was sick for almost a week. Sorry, but you can't expect me to watch this now ^^ I'm sure it's nothing short of hilarious.
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 4:10 AM Someone wrote:
    Cowabunga !

    Cowafuckingpieceofdogshit ! this film is dierria coming out of my dick , this film is as appealing as a fucking ooze infested dirty fucking sewer rat shit , I've had more fun playing with dog turds , shredders my ass and splinters my balls , I'd rather yank the hair out of my scrotum , I'd rather drink dierria vomit out of a buffalo's anus , it suckin fucks , it fuckin sucks , it fuckin blows , it's a piece of shit...and I don't like it.
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 10:33 AM BW wrote:
    Still better than "We Wish You a Turtle Christmas" featuring great Christmas tunes like "Wrap Rap" and "Gotta Get a Gift for Splinter".
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 11:28 AM Leonardo wrote:
    Great review!, Saludos de un fan argentino!
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 12:02 PM Duke Igthorn wrote:
    Pahahahahha!
    You know, for someone that is deep into the TMNT fandom and also into the niche of so called "Turtlecest" which practically is TMNT porn, I'm still very very scared by THIS!
    Raping childhoods is all fun and games, until this came along and made it look bad. XD
    *shivers in a corner*

    Excellent review, Brad! :9
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 12:56 PM glenn wrote:
    Is there a scooby Do or thundercats porno?
    Reply to this
    1. 4/3/2011 7:47 PM das81 wrote:
      Hustler did a Scooby Doo porn recently.
      Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 1:03 PM TK6530 wrote:
    Okay, 2 things:

    1- I am ashamed this piece of crap was done in my country.

    2- Damn, there are a lot of fellow argies who watch the Snob! Hey everyone! Whe sould do a meeting or something! I'm from Buenos Aires myself (¿por que escribi eso en ingles?).
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 1:43 PM Timo wrote:
    Where is that "conjoined twin" picture from?
    Reply to this
    1. 3/29/2011 7:07 PM Ry wrote:
      Basket Case.
      Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 2:28 PM SlickerKiller82 wrote:
    Has there ever been a time where you see something that make you contemplate suicide? This is one of those times. Childhood officially raped, killed and dumped by a roadside.
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 2:41 PM Glen wrote:
    Oh, for fuck's sake! Was a TMNT porno really shitting neccesary?
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 4:11 PM BigTeeIll wrote:
    How many porn is out there raping our childhood heros?

    But funny as always. You are a sick man Brad^
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 4:43 PM agustinaldo wrote:
    And, as you all know by know, I'm also from Argentina.

    We really need more Argentinian stuff from Channel Awesome.

    Nostalgia Critic can review "Titanes en el Ring Contraataca" or "Brigada Explosiva Contra los Ninjas".

    Nostalgia Chick could review "Miss Tacuarembo" or "Chiquititas: Rincon de Luz".

    MikeJ could review "Esperando la Carroza 2".

    Film Brain could review that piece of shit movie "Gaturro".

    And Linkara could review "Cazador" (a comic that makes the Rob Liefeld stuff look intelligent and sophisticated).
    Reply to this
    1. 9/8/2012 9:54 PM UCgrab wrote:
      iii honestly don't think that they could deal with it... but i would love to see the snob do come movies from Isabel Sarli, argentine sex-ploitation at its best (start with "carne" please).
      Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 5:06 PM WastedMetal wrote:
    This one had me laughing a lot, you had some great jokes going on here.

    BTW does the theme song sounds like they are saying "Big Ass Tattoos yeyeye!" to anyone else?
    Reply to this
    1. 7/28/2011 11:43 AM Albert C wrote:
      Actually it almost sounds like they are saying "Pinga y Chochas yeyeye" which is Spanish for "Dick and Pussies"
      Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 10:21 PM dna freight wrote:
    It was good and nice, it reminds me of my childhood but that was a funny version. I always watch ninja turtles when I was a kid but I have not seen this episode it is really cool.
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 10:36 PM dna freight wrote:
    It was good and nice, it reminds me of my childhood but that was a funny version. I always watch ninja turtles when I was a kid but I have not seen this episode it is really cool.
    Reply to this
  • 3/16/2011 11:10 PM CapnG wrote:
    You deserve top marks not only for sitting through this debacle but for coming up with "she 44'd her Dirty Harry" That sir was poetry.
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 12:43 AM lia wrote:
    at the end they where saying that they got the antidote..so they were stopping a disease from spreading not really doing a good job lol

    oh to be fair the argentines think or are really close to italians in culture so having the italian names isn't off really but yea this was awful
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 2:35 AM Ricky wrote:
    Conchadunga!
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 4:28 AM Masamune wrote:
    was the lyrics to that theme song "Pingas touching, yea yea yea? hahahahaha
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 4:36 AM DreamingWings wrote:
    That theme song sounds like a horribly obese man singing along to really cheesy J-pop. While wearing a wife beater and banana hammock. Wow. This movie is so wrong its actually capable of violating things made for children that weren't even featured.
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 9:19 AM Wanderer wrote:
    Okay, this wasn't nearly as gross as I expected. But it was more amateurish.
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 9:21 AM Unreal BE wrote:
    a CG classic
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 9:43 AM Igmar wrote:
    Hey ! .. don't you dare to insult one of our porn classics, im from Argentina and i have 24 years old, so i lived in the time when this movie was the best national underground porn material, it can be bad ... well, really bad, but it is a classic after all .

    We didn't have internet at that time, so this kind of material was the only things we can get on VHS .. poor us.

    And for those who wan't to know what "Konchadunga" means, it is like "pussydunga" (concha means pussy in Argentina).
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 10:53 AM Nils B-Film wrote:
    What can I say... this looks less amateurish than Beaver and Buttface? At least we got some upbeat Argentinean Turtles music!
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 2:33 PM Glen wrote:
    I dread to think what other childhood favourites can be debouched. God have mercy on whoever desecrates Ed, Edd & Eddy, because I sure won't
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 5:00 PM And wrote:
    lol, pinja turtles, really?, amazing video


    BTW: conchadunga is like "pussybonga"
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 8:13 PM pandaeyes42 wrote:
    Turtle fucking!

    I didn't know this existed-sick sad world!!!! Great work as always, Snobby. When are you going to review my all time favourite bad film. "The Apple"?!?
    Reply to this
  • 3/17/2011 9:21 PM Homer177 wrote:
    Think of it this way...At least this wasn't directed by Buck Adams.
    Reply to this
  • 3/18/2011 2:46 PM Glen wrote:
    I'd like to hear Rebecca Black sing that theme song for some reason
    Reply to this
  • 3/19/2011 10:44 AM Tom wrote:
    Please dear snob, revew the killer tomatoe movies. If there was ever a film series a cinema snob would hate!
    Reply to this
  • 3/19/2011 4:12 PM Chris wrote:
    In the sequel, will we find out the true meaning of Donatello does machines?
    Reply to this
  • 3/19/2011 10:46 PM pizzatop wrote:
    Unbelievable! What's next, a Ghostbusters porno??
    Reply to this
  • 3/20/2011 2:31 PM Cmack007 wrote:
    My mind will not grasp what I have just seen. Where was the Shredder and Master Splinter when all of this was going on?
    Reply to this
  • 3/26/2011 5:08 AM Anonymous wrote:
    You should review "los porno sinson" a the
    simpsons porn parody
    Reply to this
  • 4/3/2011 7:44 PM das81 wrote:
    Whoa!, you really readed my mail and messages!

    BTW, the director of this film, Victor Maitland, is the most famous person of the entire local porn industry.

    He even make a brief appearence as a porn director(ironically) in the argentinian movie "El boquete", with Valentina Bassi and Hector Ziembrosky.
    Reply to this
  • 4/21/2011 2:42 PM CrenshawPete wrote:
    Snoo-PINJAS usual, I SEE!!!
    Reply to this
  • 6/14/2011 11:52 AM nnsadjwewey wrote:
    rlrn x gsepro
    Reply to this
  • 11/1/2011 6:02 PM Barroso wrote:
    "konchadunga" means: "pussy-dunga"
    where the hell this guy gets this movies?
    Reply to this
  • 1/12/2012 12:04 AM John wrote:
    That theme was catchy. I didn't like it at first but it grew on me hahaha

    Not your theme by the way. The one in the movie.. lol. However The Cinema Snob opening is fucking awesome!
    Reply to this
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