Caligula II: Messalina, Messalina

How the hell do you make a sequel to a biopic where the lead character dies?

Posted by thecinemasnob at 7/20/2011 5:16 PM
Categories: The Cinema Snob
 

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  • 7/20/2011 5:38 PM Federico wrote:
    This is going to be sweet
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 5:40 PM Jenn wrote:
    Haha, hilarious, as always. The Snob really has been at his snarky best lately.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 6:55 PM David wrote:
      Yes, he has! Thank you for another great episode, Brad!
      Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 5:47 PM angelique_sp wrote:
    Damn Tomas.....I think Gabe Kaplan wants his 'Fro back.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 6:05 PM angelique_sp wrote:
      Oh and for the blood spurting scenes......Monty Python music would've been apropos as well
      Reply to this
      1. 7/22/2011 8:16 AM DarkBee wrote:
        Or Gwar, it looks an aweful lot like their concerts.
        Reply to this
      2. 7/22/2011 6:49 PM Lenin wrote:
        Yeah, it reminds me of the Salad Days sketch.
        Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 5:48 PM Chelsea wrote:
    I'm kind of curious to know what your actual opinion on the film is.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 7:01 PM David wrote:
      Yeah, Doug does that in addition to the Bum Reviews now. I like that idea.
      Reply to this
      1. 7/21/2011 3:09 AM Roivas wrote:
        I actually think that'd be pointless. Brad has gone on record stating most of his favorite movies are the ones that The Snob hates. And I'm pretty sure the reason he reviewed this one is because of how much he liked Caligula.

        Basically, I just assume that his real opinion is the exact opposite of the Snob's for most of them.
        Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 5:56 PM Mewtetsu wrote:
    haha finally! Been looking forward to this!
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 5:58 PM Penny-Anna wrote:
    *ahem*

    http://www.museumsyndicate.com/images/4/36650.jpg

    Yeah that's an actual Roman hairstyle. It's a decade or so out of date on Messalina, though, but tbh that's pretty forgiveable. It's in the right century, at least.

    Also, weirdly enough, I think the fart jokes actually have a historicla precendent. Pretty sure Claudius was mocked for his flatulence.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 7:19 PM BooRat wrote:
      another historical note it was believed Ceaser had a semular problem and might've by some odd logic caused his assassination.
      Reply to this
      1. 7/20/2011 7:24 PM Pixel Justice wrote:
        Killed for flatulence? damn.. those were rougher times lol
        Reply to this
        1. 7/20/2011 7:28 PM BooRat wrote:
          actually it was the runs more than just farts!
          the way I understand the story was he was feeling sick on a very important day and he was seated and it was custome to stand when at this meating or something of that nature, but he was afraid if he stood he'd shit himself infront of his people and choise to remain seated and the people took it as an insult. so it's like a small link of the chain of events leading to him being killed!
          Reply to this
          1. 7/20/2011 8:24 PM Pixel Justice wrote:
            to think that Pepto Bismol could have changed history as we know it...
            Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 6:13 PM Kyle wrote:
    Had no clue you could shoehorn Sam Peckinpah's Salad Days into a Caligula film.
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 6:27 PM kingleo wrote:
    Anneka Di Lorenzo might have been right about Caligula being a career killer. Peter O'Toole has only been nominated for a Best Actor Academy Award three times since then and I'm pretty sure Malcolm McDowell hasn't been in anything.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 7:21 PM BooRat wrote:
      don't forget about Helen Mirren
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      1. 7/21/2011 5:33 PM Cool Hand Luke wrote:
        You mean Dame Helen Mirren.
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      2. 7/22/2011 11:17 AM I Am a Knock Off wrote:
        I have no idea if Caligula really killed Anneka Di Lorenzo's acting career, but keep in mind that Helen Mirren, Malcolm McDowell and Peter O'Toole were already experienced actors having starred in several critically acclaimed movies by the time Caligula came out. Anneka Di Lorenzo was just starting out, this could have been an important factor.
        Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 6:37 PM Edwin Lee Pope wrote:
    sadly i had gotten this movie as well as the first movie on video in 1999 and boy was they both bad so hay, bard you not the only one who saw it.
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 7:15 PM BooRat wrote:
    wow this was one of the funnist reviews you've done ever! Nice Larry the Cable Guy insult there and sadly that would pass as that kind of humor!
    ok, i'm getting a bit confused on how many of these Caligula movies are there? i thought is was that one you and your friends decussed awhile back, but I could be wrong. i'm also curious to where you got this because i tried to find some of the others you've reviewed in the Caligula knockoff empire but I can't find them for sale anywhere!?

    Does that finaly remind anyone else of the Feast movies?

    A whole $4.50!? That must've been worth it!
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 7:19 PM Pixel Justice wrote:
    Yes! another snob video! just got back from one hell of a day and this was awesome brad! I just found your site about a month or so ago and i've seen everything now After seeing your Brad tries videos, I'm surprised you are alive dude LOL I tried Orbitz here in canada when it came out and it was bad then! Anyways, I'm not sure how these movies find you man, but i'm glad they do. Thanks for another great review
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 8:22 PM Denise wrote:
    It won't play for me! (
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 8:31 PM Matsugawa wrote:
    Ha! A Return of the Jedi joke. Awesome.
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 9:25 PM Dan S. wrote:
    Sillius doesn't go ass to mouth.
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 10:01 PM Handsome Pete wrote:
    I don't think drachmae were current in Rome at that time. I'm sure this movie isn't meant to be taken seriously, but wasn't the actual currency of the Principate called "asses"?
    Reply to this
    1. 7/20/2011 11:11 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
      Yes, it's a sure bet when this movie wasn't meant to be taken seriously. No one in Hollywood could possibly be on THAT many drugs!
      Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 10:31 PM LucasChad wrote:
    I'm pretty sure that final bloody scene was more entertaining than the ending to Beware, Children At Play. Reminded me of the infamous zombie bloodbath scene from Dead Alive.
    Reply to this
    1. 7/21/2011 1:13 PM Dashael wrote:
      Totally reminded me of that too. Now that would be an intreasting film to see snobbed. Though Idk if it is or isnt too main stream for this site alone. Perhaps some sort of crossover special?
      Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 11:03 PM Cocacola4blood wrote:
    If only one of the senators had had a piano keyboard rammed through them, Caligula II could have outdone Salad Days!
    Reply to this
  • 7/20/2011 11:43 PM skrag2112 wrote:
    Nice use of 'The Ant And The Aardvark' music.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 1:33 AM Autolycus88 wrote:
    The cartoonish mass murder totally made it worth sitting through most of the film thus far. I was really taken by surprise at how graphic it was. The music also helped.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 3:54 AM jaltesorensen wrote:
    that last scene actually looked quite funny
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 5:43 AM Jer Alford wrote:
    VIVA, PUKEFACE!
    Reply to this
    1. 7/21/2011 11:30 AM LucasChad wrote:
      It always had me rolling! God bless Peter O'Toole!
      Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 6:16 AM Johnny wrote:
    Missed a nipple-shot
    Aaah, it's great to be a perv.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 8:50 AM BigTeeIll wrote:
    The end scene was hilarious
    I would also like to see this uncensored...
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 9:28 AM puresgift wrote:
    for me as a german(or european) it´s really distracting that you censor those tits...we can see fucking tits at 3pm on any channel...so why can´t we see tits here? its teh internet...you no have us laws here
    Reply to this
    1. 7/21/2011 12:17 PM Wayne wrote:
      A) Yes there are laws.
      In addition to laws practically every hosting service, whether for websites or videos (and ESPECIALLY Blip, who Brad uses) has rules regarding pornographic content.
      Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 9:49 AM David Fullam wrote:
    There is more gore in this "comedy" than in a dozen Italian Horror films.
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 11:00 AM yo wrote:
    righteous intro
    Reply to this
  • 7/21/2011 11:04 PM Terrence wrote:
    Awesome as always.

    btw, in your commentary w/Linkara, you said you have a crossover with Phelous. Is this going to be real, or is it just that glass jelly thing? Cause Id like to see you two review a (real) movie.

    inb4heytroll4isreal
    Reply to this
  • 7/22/2011 1:13 AM Masamune wrote:
    That slaughter scene at the end of the movie reminds me of Kill Bill Vol. 1
    Reply to this
  • 7/22/2011 6:49 AM Trocar wrote:
    Entertaining and educational! Thanks, I liked it!
    Reply to this
  • 7/22/2011 6:35 PM FlippinWabbit wrote:
    Why is Agrippa called Agrippina in these movies? It's messing with my mind! O_O
    Reply to this
  • 7/24/2011 8:38 PM Damion Waldbrunn wrote:
    Who does the title cards? The review was incredible BTW...
    Reply to this
  • 7/27/2011 1:45 AM Lard wrote:
    Speaking of Andy Sidaris it would be cool if you reviewed some of his stuff.
    Reply to this
  • 7/28/2011 10:08 PM The Movie Explorer wrote:
    Wow, the Ant and the Aardvark? That I did NOT expect!

    I’ve heard of this movie for years. How is it I never realized it was a comedy (or, rather, a Komedy)?
    Reply to this
  • 7/30/2011 4:39 PM Gerudon wrote:
    Well, that movie was surprisingly historical correct as far as Latin sources are considered.

    But strange, that they didn't really show the competition between Messalina and the whore.
    Reply to this
  • 7/31/2011 4:59 AM trevanian wrote:
    I have only seen the german dubbed trailer and the title is Messalina kaizerin und hure. Great episode again.
    Reply to this
  • 8/13/2011 6:21 AM Tetsuryu wrote:
    Oh dear god. The ending to this movie is like Sam Peckinpah's Salad Days, only not as a joke!...or maybe it IS a joke.

    Question is, is it better or worse than The Untold Story?
    Reply to this
  • 8/30/2011 10:58 AM Lucas A. wrote:
    Enjoyed this review. Man that ending was insane yet funny. I agree when all say it's like the Salad Days sketch from Monty Python. To me, this is the moment when the movie starts "frying the coke."
    Reply to this
  • 5/13/2012 4:22 PM Fuckcounter wrote:
    20
    Reply to this
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