Midnight Screenings: "Cowboys & Aliens," "The Smurfs," and "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
First up, Brad, Brian, and Sarah check out "Cowboys & Aliens."
Then the real heroes of the night, Jake and Boyd, go see "The Smurfs."
And we sent Jillian to "Crazy, Stupid, Love."
Then the real heroes of the night, Jake and Boyd, go see "The Smurfs."
And we sent Jillian to "Crazy, Stupid, Love."
Wow. Lloyd seriously needs to go to a midnight screening one of these days
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PROTIP: Smurfs are a direct representation of the KKK. Surprised you guys never made that reference at all. I personally boycotted the movie...not because it's shit and knew it would be shit, but for the obvious nature of its creation.
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http://www.youtube.com/embed/iOszRGt25I4
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You have no idea how terrified I am to start the second video...
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no, no, no that's his "happy" face!
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Wow. Pardon me for saying this, Brad, but I found Jillian's cleavage mesmerizing to look at. Why did you not accompany her to the theater, again? Anyway, great review to everyone. Looking forward to C&A tomorrow night and probably will take my niece to see Smurfs Sunday.
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Most Excellent way to raise the creepiness! Thumbs up!
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We saw the first 40 minutes of C&A at BNAT12 this year, and none of the CG work was complete at all. Just the practical effects were in place, and even then it was amazing looking. Great explosions. Great light zooming spaceships. You could see the wires, but it didn't matter. The drama of the attack worked brilliantly even WITH the wires.
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You shut the hell up! You don't even JOKE about them doing this to David the Gnome! Don't EVEN make that joke! No no no no no no no no no!
That was the best children's show ever, and it will not be raped by Hollywood!
>
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Have you rewatched David the Gnome anytime recently? I bought and imported a PAL DVD set of the series a few years back, and man I was suprised at it. It's not the show I remember, I think Nickelodeon chose the good episodes to air and tossed out the rest. Luckily I don't think they could or would do a movie of 'You Can't Do That on Television' and Fingers Crossed aren't stupid enough to CGI 'Ren and Stimpy' into a movie.
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Jake officially has the title of Brad's Badass Friend.
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2nd!
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In all honesty, it could've been more badass if he was on Acid, not sure just blazing up would've done the job, unless the job is forgetting faster. He really does seem to have burned out on bad movies, this rant seemed to take more effort than previous flowing rants which flowed like a river stream.
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I've been very apprehensive towards 'Cowboys & Aliens' exactly because of Hollywood's shoddy track record with Western/sci-fi fusion (I grew up on 'The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.', so I've had high standards for the genre since pre-adolescence). More often than not, there's never an even balance between the two genres, it's usually just pop-sci-fi-action with a shallow Western visual aesthetic, and when a multi-million dollar budget is on hand, the special effects end up obliterating the plot. The more previews I saw of this film, the more my pants-crapping anticipation turned into overwhelming doubt.
However, I've actually come to trust Brad's (non-Snob) reviews to the point of influence, so my faith has more or less been restored, especially with all the comparisons to 'From Dusk 'Til Dawn'. I guess I have no choice but to bite the bullet, realize I can't hide behind my 'The Wild Wild West: The Complete Series' box set forever and see what the 21st century has to offer. Fingers crossed.
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Jake, I will gladly join you in the revolution of going against these terrible kids movies. There's a degree or two of "darkness" that could've be added to the Smurf's story, Smurfette's entire origins being chief among them, and they went with this piece of poo, apparently. Let the resistance begin!
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Pitchfork and Torch at the ready!
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I may be a terrible human being, because I love to see Jake suffer...
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I really wanna see Cowboys & Aliens and you guys just made me want to go SO much more. It sounds awesome.
Also... sorry about Smurfs. Just... just sorry.
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Ha, I would actually love watching Jake have his own website. His anger is really cute.
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Jillian, if you're reading this, you are absolutely correct about The Change-Up. I saw a screening of it and it's atrociously bad.
You think the poo humor in the trailer is bad? In the first five minutes, one of Jason Bateman's babies projectile shits directly into his open mouth. THAT is this movie. Projectile shit, flying into your mouth.
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Moar Jillian reviewing movies.
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Awesome Cowboys & Aliens sounds awesome! I can't wait to see it this weekend! My dad even wants to see it and he normally doesn't care for alien movies out side ET!
Smurfs looked like another lets make a crappy CGI movie based off an old 70s-early 90s cartoon franchise movie with oe or two semi-famous names attached to the lead! I'm actually surprised that it didn't have that guy from My Name is Earl in it!
I figured ya'll'd known about the "Smurf" langue thing if you'd ever watch the cartoon growing up? I did and I couldn't tell it and Snorks apart half the time!
I'm sorry to hear that Jake's having such a hard time with these film, but we do get to hear more about what happened with his review of ZooKeeprer and Captain America! Why don't ya'll take him to a nice viewing of Capt now!?
Why ya'll harping on Conan already it looks like it might be interesting! I like the Conan movies and stories!
The love comedy movie I could careless about but I watched the review anyway and it sonds pretty depressing which is all the world needs is more sucide fuel!!
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Sorry Jake. Thought that might help. If you start a petition or a website, I'd sign up for that! I REFUSE to see smurfs. I wish they would live stuff from the 80's alone, Pleeeeeease leave the 80's alone!
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No, they just need to stop trying to modernize these 80's classics. Transformers would have been fine if they just redid the transformers movie with CGI. The robots are the stars, not the humans. Smurfs would have been fine if they kept it in the village. Stay true to the material if you're going to make a movie.
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No, they just need to stop trying to modernize these 80's classics. Transformers would have been fine if they just redid the transformers movie with CGI. The robots are the stars, not the humans. Smurfs would have been fine if they kept it in the village. Stay true to the material if you're going to make a movie.
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"Transporting someone/something into the real world" is a clear indication that the movie will be shit. It shows that the writers could not write a decent story and did not know the source material. Overuse every bad joke, movie reference, and cliché in the book. Just shit out a movie to cash in off of nostalgia. Rape the childhood of millions all for the sake of the almighty dollar.
Dear God, what have we done?
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It worked for Thor, but that's only because that was the story of the Thor comics from the beginning (I think...)
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*clears throat* Thor!
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I was laughing before I pressed the start button of the Smurfs review because of the screencap. Sorry to laugh at your pain, Jake. Don't kill me.
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Jake if you need an army to tear these family movies a new one, count me in.
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I am so sorry Jake and Brian. You guys deserve better, and Brad needs to treat you guys to a much better movie. So hang onto that thought about the Muppet movie. Hope that is does not blow as hard as this movie did. I'll send you both the ten bucks for a refund if I can.
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I'm actually really curious about the smurfs now. I might even watch it just to see if it's that terrible.
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Jake and Virtual Boyd,
thanks for seeing that craptastic movie for the rest of us. Brad definitely owes you a "good" movie on the next MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS.
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Man oh man, Jake should SO get a website and review terrible kids movies. He'd be a worth addition to the number of Internet reviewers out there -- his rage is truly entertaining.
Maybe he'd even be able to earn enough to quit his day job (which he seems to despise)!
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about cowboys and aliens, when i heard the kid from the fucking last airbender was in it, i thought he was playing the son, im happy that isnt the case, whats even better is that i watched the new Ancient aliens last night, which they focused on aliens in the old west, and the entire first segment was about the movie, and how something like that might have happened
about smurfs, it cant be as bad as last airbender, because at least it sounds like it fucking tried to have some redeeming value
ill support Jakes mission, him and brad can make a new show for the site about it, (your characters can be the angry parents who had to see it)
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No matter how bad the smurfs is, I'd rather watch that shit than Jack and Jill.
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I truly feel sorry for Jake. He deserves some good movies in the future. And maybe a hooker. And wait, wasn't Jerrid supposed to go see Smurfs?! I feel bad that Jake got so much flack for missing Zookeeper, especially since it was due to personal stuff. Hopefully Brad makes this up to him and Brian!
And sign me up for the Kids Movie revolution!
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What the fuck is wrong with you people? The Smurfs was the best movie I've seen in years. It felt like watching an episode of the cartoon. Hell, the ninth season was all about them traveling through time. And Narrator Smurf was the best new character possible. The only thing wrong with the movie was the trailers.
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Also, the "You're a boy?" line was an in-joke. In the original comics, Azrael was a girl, but the cartoon made her a him. And nothing is worse than Son of the Mask.
And they aren't transported to the real world, they were transported to the FUTURE. They were ALWAYS in the real world.
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OK, the M&M thing was weird. But nothing else in the movie was bad. I wish I could have seen it in 3D, but this is going to be the first movie I buy when I get a 3DTV.
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I likely don't have to tell you this, but you are in a small percentile holding to that belief. I'll be one of the first to say I like 'crappy' flicks and hate most 'Epic Award nominated' type Films. So as always to each their own, but you are truly a rarity for this film.
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I already know I disagree with these people, since they already hated Transformers, Green Lantern, and Priest, but loved Super 8 (most boring, tortuous movie I've ever seen).
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Now I know y'all just trollin'.
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Goddamnit, I am NOT trolling! I'm just saying they hated the movies I enjoyed, and sucked the dicks of the movie that put me to sleep!
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You must have a very, very short attention span. No offense
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Not really. It's more that I'm a fan of several 80s cartoons (Transformers and Smurfs amoung them, so I admit to being somewhat biased towards them), and horror movies. I can't place my finger on why, but Super 8 just seemed like I'd seen it before. The acting and effects were great, but the story fell flat.
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This is extremely narrow. Awesome.
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Fuck. You.
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Sounds like the Ninth season sucked...
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I think it's great that you don't even have to start the Smurfs review to know Jake's going to be extremely pissed off. Also, I think everyone should support the revolution!
The crappy movies need to die, so that watchable ones can rise from the ashes.
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It really is a shame that you guys didn't get to see Winnie the Pooh. I know that sounds funny, but I'm serious. The new Pooh movie actually is a great revival of the original '60s cartoons, and pays it with the respect and dignity it deserves, unlike these live-action/CGI hybrid cash-ins like Smurfs, Garfield, Alvin, etc.
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Stop torturing Jake Brad. I expect you to go and see smurfs by yourself now.
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There was was a syfy channel movie a couple of years back about cowboys fighting an alien invasion I can't remember what it's called. But Cowboys V Aliens looks good
PS
How can you get angry about the Smurfs! It would have been funnier if they liked it.
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Brad and Co. Your glowing review of Cowboys and Aliens will get me to watch it, I won't pay, but hell I rarely do. Not like I trust mainstream critics, but the tomatoe score on it makes many of them terrible human beings by the standards you've set!
Atleast the tomatoe score of Cowboys holds up about 10 times better than that of Smurfs! (score changed since first look, now only 2.5 times better) I'm with Jake on Revolution, but I didn't need this review to urge that on. I'm not sure what Remake (or Redoing) of classics started 1st, but it inevitably sucked and raped the source like any other one. Psycho was the 1st I remember (the only real Remake I've seen). I'm not sure I can point a finger at any 'remakes' and say it was needed or did justice.
Jillian, Glad I watched you after Brad (meal prep times and such) The transition in retrospect seems far more smooth than anger filled rantings into your review! Sounds good enough for me to investigate a little, Im not sold, but I love "the redhead" so that's a definate plus!
What a night!
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Films I've seen so far this year:
The Smurfs
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Green Lantern
Drive Angry
Sucker Punch
Thor
Priest
X-Men First Class
Rango
Mars Needs Moms
Super 8
My friend is dragging me to Spy Kids, and other than that, there's really nothing I want to see (If I was working right now, I'd be seeing a movie weekly, even if there was nothing that looked good)
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Next week's video really should be just nothing but Jake and Brian beating the crap out of Jerrid for a half hour. Bonus points if Jerrid is wearing nothing but pajama pants.
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I'm sorry Jake!! We all love you!!
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The babysitter subplot does not appear to belong in a comedy. Maybe a thriller (i.e. The Crush), but there is something seriously mentally wrong with an underage girl taking naked photos of herself to try to seduce an adult man.
Not to mention giving child pornography to another child is not only wrong, but creepy as all shit. Jerrid should have gone to see that movie with Jillian.
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Jake, you and Boyd are heroes. You guys deserve medals and a monument for making the sacrifice you guys did. I salute you guys.
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Cowboys and Aliens rocked. I feel bad for the guys that had to sit through the Smurfs. I heard it was like having to live with multiple abscessed teeth.
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Jerrid PROMISED that he was gonna see Smurfs. Send him to watch it by himself as punishment and make a video of it.
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Nah....I think Jerrid should have to go watch the GLEE movie instead.....much more demeaning.
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Awesome. I don't see why you all seem to be dreading "The Change-Up" so much.
Sure, it looks worse than the other comedies this year (namely, Bad Teacher and Horrible Bosses; I wouldn't see a romcom like Friends With Benefits or Crazy Stupid Love, unless the hottest girl in the world was my date), but it still looks okay.
Why do you all seem to thing it looks HORRIBLE?? Just curious, not critizing. I'll probably see it.
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It IS horrible, I've seen it.
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As have I. Wasn't it THE worst? It's staggeringly bad.
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REALLY?? _Staggering_ bad??
I can't believe it!! It just looks so "okay" so "mediocre." Like, I wasnt looking forward to it or anything, but I see every movie pretty much (besides kids movies lol), and I figured I would see it.
But if it is THAT bad, then, 1. thank you, sir, for the input, and, 2. why is it SO bad?
Is it because there is too much toilet humor? Because I do hate that, I concede.
But REALLY?? It's THAT bad??!! I can't believe it!!
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Well since ya'll brought it up and seam to be in such a good mood about the idea of it becoming a modern film I found ya'll this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BNFNeGxsvg I hope it makes ya'll as happy as it made me!
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Brad can I hang out with you?
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Jake, will you go see Cowboys on your own time? I hope so, for your sake
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Cowboys & Aliens 'best movie of the summer,' good to know since I'm seeing it on Monday.
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lol omg the end fuck you guys XD
i might be the cynical bastard you speak of i thought this movie -cowboys vs aliens- looked stupid...and gimmicky i might watch it but eh i am not gonna might rent it
ok saw the smurf's review omg lol poor jake ...i hope this doesn't mean he won't watch anymore movie i so want to see him again he is so funny XD when brian cut in the last part of your video it just made me laugh so hard the 34 minutes of me laughing ...at jake's and brian's pain i am so sorry really i apologize that being said...ah please keep watching this movies...they can't be all this bad xD
wha can i say i knew this movie was going to blow chunks but i didn't think it would be soul crushing bad...especially to this source material...poor childhood being raped like indie and starwars and all of the rest...sadness
please watch another movie if you can being that you ...aregood at these rage rants....jerrid lied he wasn't there ...omg i see blood will fly
i don't like rom-com so i won't watch it and if i hate the typical rom-coms i hate semi depressing semi happy ones like love actually ..so no thanks brad your wife is ...so tired why do you do that to her? XD
man i want jake to see the change up he would tear that piece of crap apart
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haha! you should totaly do a web show about BAD kids movies, I would totaly support you
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Once about five years ago, a TV show appeared which pissed me off so much that I seriously considered making a website or blog or something, just to take it apart as meticulously as possible. I still wonder from time to time why I'm not doing that. The show is still on, actually.
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Yes yes yes YES! I got all happy at the end of The Smurfs review cause of Jake's little talk about him doing a children's movie revolution. I fucking hope that Brad will let him post even just one review of him just tearing to pieces a children's film that raped his childhood. Hell ill even pay for it! Why? Cause Jake seems to be the nerd just like me and a bunch of other people I know that have see shit like this happen to stuff they grew up with and have it turn into utter dog humping-robot pisssing-poo joke making-animal talking-modern times horse shit!
Also yeah Jake is fucking funny when he's pissed off. Just always makes a funny site even funnier.
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Goddamnit, Guys, you owe Jake and Boyd a triple feature of quality. Send those two to Cowboys Vs Aliens, Captain America, and Attack the Block, and really, guys, I'd go half on getting those poor boys the tickets.
By the way, I don't think any of y'all have seen attack the block. See it, it's awesome.
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I will join your army, Jake. These kids movies have been pissing me off too, and it's about time we showed them who's boss around here.
"There's a lot of bullets!!" may have been the best laugh I've had today.
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You know what surprised the hell out of me while watching Cowboys vs. Aliens? CLANCY BROWN. I was not expecting to see the Kurgan/LexLuthor/Mr.Krabs that was a nice little treat especially since he's voicing a new character in the new thundercats series. This was a Clancy Brown day!
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Jake ranting about a movie is entertaining as hell. Don't ever send him to a good movie,please.
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Gotta love Jake's face on the screenshot! You don't even have to watch the review, to know how he felt about the movie!! haha
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People of Hollywood want too much of CGI and shitty jokes.
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Saw Cowboys & Aliens last night. It was fun, but definitely not the best of the summer. Movies like X-Men First Class, Thor, Super 8, Captain America, etc, were much more entertaining.
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Thank you! i can't believe he said cowboys vs aliens was better i find it dull and correct if i am wrong is this a remake?
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Yup. Really dug X-Men, Captain America and Potter myself. Personally, while there's a lot to like, I found Cowboys and Aliens to be dull and hackneyed. It was pretty disappointing. So far, for my money, the best alien invasion movie this year is Attack The Block. Definitely worth checking out when it expands to more theaters.
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To be fair, Brad did say the movie wasn't for cynical assholes.
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Brad, can you get Jillian on camera to unload on Bay's Transformers franchise? I get the feeling that'd be just as (if not potentially more) hilarious as Jake and co ripping apart these terrible kids movies
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Jake is officially my favorite person on the internet.
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I knew the Smurfs movie was gonna suck when I found out the director also made the two live action Scooby Doo movies (god those were awful!!). This director's name is Raja Gosnell, Jake. Track him down and kill him before he rapes any more childhood classics.
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I saw a change up commercial and was amused by that actually. Maybe I was too high at the time.
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Eh...Cowboys & Aliens was ok, just ok. The Craig was excellent, but outside of that the story was ok, the other performances were ok, the movie was a big ball of ok. I don't really understand how you were so impressed by it. Mayhaps you've seen too many bad movies.
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No. I just like really damn good movies. Zing!
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Brad, you might have to take up Jillian's offer to see "The Change-Up". If you sent Jake to see it I'm afraid the rage would make his head go all Scanners. I don't think the poor guy can take much more.
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...
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...I see what you did there...Touché, good sir. Seriously, though. I have nothing against the movie, I don't regret coughing up $7 for it, but I just don't think it follows that it's the best movie of the summer. Granted, you're entitled to your opinion, but I'm just not seeing it.
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Is it just me or did Harrison Ford play Mr McMahon in Cowboys and Aliens? And I mean that entirely complimentary too
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Hey, Brad/Webmaster/Whomever is it possible to lump all of the "Midnight Screenings" into a single category into the sidebar of links? And, hey, are you planning on continuing this Midnight Screening stuff? Granted movies coming out in the Winter and Spring don't as heavily get midnight showings, but the bigger ones do. I've really enjoyed these in-car discussions, even the ones for good movies.
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I'd love to join Jake's army against shitty kids movies
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I have to admit I would have waited to see this movie had I not seen your review. I had just dropped money for Captain America the week before and I don't have a whole lot of spending money this summer. However your review convinced me to see it and... I absolutely loved it. Hell I did not expect it to actually get to me as much as it did. Thank you so much for the recommend. Keep up the good work with the site. I keep up with all the videos.
Also to Jake. I really enjoyed your part in gameboys. Your actually one of my favorite people in his productions. I think you really should make your own review show cause I would seriously watch it. Hope Smurfs hasn't discouraged you from doing more videos with brad cause I really do enjoy your rants.
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Jake and Brian,
fair fuck's to the pair of you for going to Smurfs - not killing Brad afterward
Your pain and anger was communicated very well - The review can only be summed up in one word: schadenfreude
<3 ye
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I was reading up on The Smurfs. They could have made a decent movie out of it that could have entertained both children and adults. I mean come on Smurfette was created to pretty bring the end to the Smurfs.Honestly a origin movie that was JUST about the Smurfs and Gargamel would have been pretty good.
But I feel really bad for Jake. I was one of the ones who thought he just skipped on The Zookeeper. But now Jarrid deserves to go to all these bad movies.
And yes more Jillian reviews. I have loved all of them so far that she has done. I would love to see her review the Bay Transformers movies.
As for Cowboys and Aliens I will just wait till the DVD comes out and just rent it. I really have no interest in seeing it in theaters. It looks cool. But not worth the money
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Boyd: fuck you for even joking about threatening Jerrid for missing a screening. Jerrid has every single "bad" or less preffered choice for the midnight movies. He has had to bite the bullet every week. He deserves a week off to see Kenny Chesney, because apparently Brad will never let him see the anticipated movie. Boyd almost never sees the "bad" midnight movie and usually busts Jerrid's balls (to minimal comic effect), so I have no sympathy for Boyd.
Jake, on the other hand, I feel for ya. Your anger is palpable...and hilarious. When referring to the Smurfs movie, Jake was looking back at that theater like it was a house that he was abused in as a child.
And Brad, you should bite the bullet one week and see a shitty movie. YOU are the Cinema Snob and with your knowledge of actors and film references, it would be funnier to have you ripping apart an obviously bad movie. Having you review movies that you like is a waste of talent.
Jake, I definitely wasn't criticizing you for skipping a bad movie to go take care of a family emergency a couple of weeks ago. And now that I know you were out bashing some guy's head in, I am definitely not gonna insult you for missing any future screenings, LOL!
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Yeah, but with the exception of about 2, Jerrid has liked most of the movies we've sent him to. Boyd's track record for seeing bad movies this summer is slightly greater than Jerrid's.
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I can joke about kicking Jerrid in the nuts all I want. And I don't bust Jerrid's balls to make you laugh. I do it because that's what I've always done. And quite frankly, with the exception of Judy Moody, he has been to the higher rated movie almost EVERY week. So your argument is flawed and you will go away now
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So Smurfs. . . Better or worse than Transformers 3?
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So, facial burns...better or worse than a compound fracture of the femur?
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I went to Cowboys and Aliens (which I've been looking forward to ALL SUMMER) and when I'm in the theater around 20 minutes in the goddamn, mother fucking, shit sucking, cum swallowing, god for-fucking-saken power goes the fuck out.
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Had friends drag me to the smurfs as a joke, thinking we would just ms3tk it. It was so bad, we couldn't crack a joke once. It was like our sense of humor was sucked out of us. Jake, were do I have to sign? I will join your revolution, damnit.
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I saw Cowboys & Aliens and it was amazing. Sadly, it isn't doing too well in the box office. Somehow, the Smurfs is tied with C&A. I bet Jake is even more pissed off.
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Saw Cowboys & Aliens on this review's endorsement, and it exceeded even the high expectations I had going in. Movies these days are having a hard time getting me to give a rat's ass about the characters, and this movie found just the right line to get me to invest and not let me down for doing so. I'm still jubilant about it. Made my freakin' week for sure.
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I began watching this video with the joy of anticipation...but after the look of absolute horror, rage, and misery upon the face of Jake, I am at a loss for words. I am actually somewhat depressed to know anyone had to endure that much pain.
The Red Cross needs to be brought in to issue medical attentions as relief for the victims of Smurfs.
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Jake looks like he's about to pass out half way through.
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I hate to say it, but yes Jake, you are just so entertaining when you're angry. Heck, I'm just checking these videos to see you angry now.
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Sorry for being late for this. Family vacation of all things. Anyway, here are more summer release dates up until Labor Day Weekend!
August 5th: Rise of the Planet of the Apes/The Change-Up
August 12th: 30 Minutes or Less/Final Destination 5 (3D)/Glee 3D Concert
August 19th: Conan the Barbarian (3D)/Fright Night (2011) (3D)/Spy Kids 4 (3D)
August 26th: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark/Our Idiot Brother
September 2nd: Apollo 18/Shark Night 3D
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Oh and just in case you guys wanted to keep this series going until the end of the year, here are some extra September release dates.
September 9th: Bucky Larson/Contagion (3D)/Warrior
September 16th: Drive/I Don't Know How She Does It/Straw Dogs
September 23rd: Abduction/Dolphin Tale (3D)/Killer Elite/Moneyball
September 30th: 50-50/Courageous/Dream House/What's Your Number?
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is it sad that My Little Pony is the only nostalgic material to receive an update that is actually better than the original?
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There's a number of nostalgic series that have had a good reboot, just not as much the movies, which is what they're talking about here. Transformers Animated and Prime were/are excellent, and I'm told the new Thundercats is decent.
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Seriously, Cowboys & Aliens as the best summer movie? I'm sorry but there were pointless scenes and underdeveloped characters EVERYWHERE! You can't tell me them staying in an upside down ship couldn't have been something better other than Craig shirtless and a preacher dying. Or how about when Craig meets his old gang buddies again and FOR NO REASON punches him in the face and then says "let's go back to camp lol". Then they arrive at the camp AND FOR WHAT, WHAT WAS THE POINT?! Oh and don't forget how all the other alien snatchers go into the sky but the one that takes Olivia Wilde stays low and slow enough for Craig to jump on from a horse? Fine I'll even swallow that pill but then she comes back like a phoenix and our ONLY explanation is "I came from beyond the stars and took on this form to talk with your people". Are you fucking kidding me? Ignoring how she somehow still dies in the end AND how if she can't take on forms why not take on an alien form to execute her plan, let's address my biggest gripe. You mean to tell me that the arm bracelet that ALL those aliens wear have the code to EXPLODE THE FUCKING SHIP?! Entertaining movie? Absolutely, I was never bored! But by no means is this mess the BEST movie of the summer.
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I'll admit the ship could've been explained better and used for more!
He punched the dude from his old gang because he was winging it on being the bad ass gang leader thing. from the fact he couldn't recall any of them he just had to go on old stereotypes of how gang's worked and normally the toughest was in charge. insert dormancy!
They went to the camp so that they could set up for back up later.
Ok that was plot contrivance here with the ship flying low for so long.
The girl being an alien was from the comic it was based on, but be glad they didn't keep more from it. in it she had an alien form but it was generic 50s alien. also, in the book were flying horse shoes. Also, it'd slowed the movie to a halt to explain the concept of aliens to a bunch of people who had what equates to today as a 2nd grade Education.
the arm bracelet didn't have a code to blow up the engine it had a self destruct thing like the freaking Predator's armband what she did was blow it us next to the main reactor of the ship. like dropping a sparkler into a gas tank.
Now if they put more of what was in the comic in the movie it'd been too wierd they had a good balance here!
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I've got a perfectly good rebuttal to that. ::cough cough:: I SOOOOOOOOOO don't care =)
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that was better than what I said!
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I just wanted to say, the fact that Smurfs is so horrible really, really saddens me. I mean, the Smurfs weren't my favorite series, but they were something I watched during my youngest years. I remember how much world-wide appeal those little blue guys had. What hurts the most is that, you know, a Smurfs movie could have worked. Smurfs in NY City could even have worked. But from the moment I saw the ads, and saw how they were treating the Smurf characters, making it more "Neil Patrick Harris in NY, featuring the Smurfs" I knew it was going to be bad. And this make me very, very sad. D:
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I will totally get behind Jake's kids' movie review show, because yeah, the movies are total shit. Why does /Smurfs/ have to be a Fish Out of Water story? Why can't we stay in the original environment, where the smurfs are the same kinds of characters they were in the cartoon and they DON'T co-opt popular culture for easy-as-shit unfunny jokes? For that matter, why couldn't we have some traditional 2D animation? Because as I stated in my recent Tintin rant, the traditional animation medium is still perfectly valid and will attract customers, and the only reasons most studios make 3D animated movies instead are: first of all, they've brainwashed themselves into believing that nobody wants traditional cartoons anymore; and second of all, they want to sell you the movie in "3-ee-D-ee," which is 3D as sold by an announcer who milks two notes out of each syllable because he thinks 3D has X-treme Attitude.
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I'm just going to say that I loved the reviews and laughed like crazy, but really The Smurfs wasn't THAT bad. I was dragged to it by my daughter, and chuckled at a few places. And I loved the show as a kid.
No, it's not going to win any awards. No, it's not the best movie of the summer. But it was cute, kept my kid happy for 80 minutes, and I didn't want to throw my shoe through the screen. (Same can't be said for even the preview for whatever Alvin and the Chipmunks movie this is.)
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"It's not going to win any awards" is such a terrible defense for bad movie. You know what didn't win any important awards? "Psycho," "Vertigo," "The Shawshank Redemption" and plenty of great movies.
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I suppose. But you know what I mean by it. It's not a great movie. I certainly didn't come home and blog about how it was the best movie evar and everyone should run out and see it.
My six-year-old liked it. I didn't want to throw my shoe at it. There are worse kids movies. And adult movies, for that matter.
(And perhaps nominated would be a better choice... Psycho was nominated in a bunch of categories. I've never seen Vertigo-can't really comment. Shawshank Redemption was nominated for a bunch of awards too.)
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Here's something Jake my like.
http://teamcoco.com/video/harrison-ford-hates-smurfs
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I think it is absolutely hilarious that all the cynics are ranting about how he can possibly say this movie is the best of the summer, when he said cynical people won't like it.
Don't they realize they are just proving the man correct?
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"Shoot the fuckin' monkeys!" Best solution to Rise of the Planet of the Apes I've ever heard.
Am I alone in thinking maybe you guys should draw straws to figure out who gets to see the bad movies? That way the same person isn't being subjected to all of the crap ones.
Then again, Jake's rage is marvelously entertaining.
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If your kids make you take them to The Smurfs you have a valid reason for beating them.
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If you guys are gonna watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes you should watch the original for a point of comparison (of course the original relied on a kind of ridiculous time travel plot in a previous movie, but I'm certain it will still be better.)
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Actually this new movie is based on the 4th movies(Conquest of the Planet of the Apes) plot. Just insted of a genetically engineered chimp he's the son of 2 time traveling chimps from 100s of years in the future whenthe Apes have taken over... so, the plot is a giant time paradox that makes Terminators sound a lot more possible. Also, todays Friday they seen The Rise last night already too late to watch anything for comparison!
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I am a cynical bastard and even I liked Cowboys and Aliens. It's not the best movie out there but definitely worth the $15 dollars I sent to see it in the AVX theater. I hardly recommend movies nowadays and I think everyone should see this movie.
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I am rewatching this because I just had an awful day and only Jake is capable of encapsulating my rage. Thanks for taking the blue bullet for us working stiffs man. You deserve fucking combat pay.
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I'm gonna have to disagree with you about Cowboys and Aliens. While I liked the casting and thought that the acting was good, I disliked most of the film. I thought the aliens were very generic and cliché. I also thought the whole premise of the movie rather silly.*Spoilers* I find the idea of an a race invading other planets just to steal their gold ridiculous. Also, I thought there was a lot of plot holes. Perhaps I missed it, but did they ever explain how the alien woman made it to earth? And, I couldn't help but feel that the Doc character brought little to the story. At least the kid had a whole "becoming a man" motive, but there was nothing special about Doc in this movie. Maybe if he actually did some form of medicine to help somebody, but everyone dies before he gets a chance to help them. Just my opinion, but I did not appreciate the film as much as you appeared to.
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I'm gonna have to disagree with you about Cowboys and Aliens. While I liked the casting and thought that the acting was good, I disliked most of the film. I thought the aliens were very generic and cliché. I also thought the
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I wonder if Jillian knows that her comments are somewhat distracting, maybe not to anyone else but at least to me...
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No, FUCK YOU, Noah!! If you don't like it you can go fuck yourself!!
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Jake should have his own show on either this site or thatguywiththeglasses.com He cracks me up every time.
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~\o This is what it looks like, when a Smurf cries! ~\o
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