Violent Shit III: Infantry of Doom
Third time's a shit.
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Paranoia
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Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
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Vault of Horror
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Avante Garde Theatre
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Forgotten Junk
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The Cinema Snob: Violent Shit III: Infantry of Doom
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FIRST! One, violent shit is a curious thing, like that AVGN Crazy Castle review, the fact that the first game and movie in this case is puzzling, let alone 5 or 3 sequels in this case.
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Nice mocking of Cowboys & Aliens negative reviews, sir. Nice indeed.
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Most of the reviewers who hated C & A LIKED the Smurfs. Shows you the value of their opinions.
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No, most reviewers everywhere hated the Smurfs.
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Yeah, that was good mockery.
But, seriously, were reviewers actaully complaining about the aliens??!!??!!
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I think he's more mocking the people and reviewers who thought there would be depth to a movie called Cowboys & Aliens.
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excellent review. I enjoy all your body of work, this was no exception.
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I'm not sure why but the dubbing reminds me of Birddemic. Shitty audio and shittier dialog. I'll give this movie one thing and one thing only, the practical effects make me a happy horror buff. Your completely right, modern movies really need to go back to practicals. It's effects like this that got me interested in movies, I always wanted to know how they did it. Some of the best memories I have from school are our shitty horror films and all the gore and makeup we had to come up with. That said, a shitty movie is still a shitty movie. AH! Jesus...Seizure inducing end credits.
How many times did you have to do the title abbreviation bit?
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I'm amazed at the effects in this movie and how they're actually decent. The acting, however? Laughable.
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Dear Cinema Snob,
It is clear that you dont fallow your own guidelines and have violated our trust in you as a entertainer. It is clear that you have sold out and i will never trust your site again. EVER!
P.S. Tardis!!!
All kidding aside glad you decided to do this review. Just be ready for a flood of requests for post 1995 movie reviews Brad.
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Was that voice at the begenning supposed to be a take on Douchey McNitpick or the Comic Book Shop owner from the Simpsons?
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I can see how it could be Karl Jr, as he had the scar on his face from his staple adventure in 2, on the correct side of his face.
Plus, it's nice to see the Asians survive the movie after watching Resident Evil: Afterlife and the total slaughter of everyone not white or a clone in the opening.
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for some reason when I hear Carl Jr. I think of the Troma movie Poltregiust. If you've seen it you'll know what I mean!
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For some reason when 'I' hear Carl Jr. ...I want a burger
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Never been to one of those places.
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that was awesome lol. I don't know if i impress easily or something but I liked the gore effects in this one
In the intro of the review where the guy gets his face ripped off, I had flashbacks of hellRaiser. which as before 1995! that'd be a cool one to see you review actually.
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Hellraiser isn't an exploitation movie, though; I don't think it qualifies.
Also, Hellraiser is a good movie.
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how about Hellraiser 3-? as after part 2 in my openion those movies went drastically down hill in the story department!
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That's not opinion, that's fact! Most of the Heellraiser sequels suck. Except for Doug Bradley, who is walking badassery. (Also, Inferno wasn't *terrible.* And I personally liked Hell on Earth, but I can see why other people don't.)
They're still not exploitation movies, though. We could go ask Phelous! It's right up his alley.
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Well, I did like part 3 a little bit, but that movie is when the story from the 1st 2 movies ended and pretty much all the rules and setup were ignored.
After part 3 is when they started using rejected unrelated scripts. Inferno was one of the worst examples to me as you can see it was meant to be a cop dramatic thriller that was halfassly turned into a Hellraiser movie... also Pinhead the only good thing in some Hellraiser movies was in the movie for all of 5 minutes yet the cover to the DVD/VHS boxes was his head. 5 minutes is barely a cameo in his own franchise!
What's required for it to be an exploitation movie? Give me some guidelines and I'll see if I can't workout a loophole and say that it is. because all I can think of now is it is exploitive of the S&M, torture, gore, and violence... and, if Clive Barker had his way nudity would've been more a abundant.
Also, the snob originally based his persona on Ebert's review of Friday the 13th Part: 4 and he does do the average review of old cheesy horror flicks!
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He also did Leprechaun and creepozoids
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That is true! But Leprechaun was a crossover. Phalus did PEt Sematary already, but I'm not sayig he can't review it because of that I'm saying he might not because of that... yet they both have review the same movies as each other before like the Troll series!
You're wlcome, homie! It's great to get feedback every once in awhile!
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Well, that plot was a fuck-ton of pointlessness. Not to mention every time I see those dumb-ass metal face masks, I yearn for a handful of refrigerator magnets....go figure.
Lovely review,BTW.
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they look like a gang of Lord Zedd cosplayers LOL
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Reminded me of an 80s rockband album cover!
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http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PpH8Lgy1QfA/R1DK3-OzmEI/AAAAAAAAAk8/s1T2l-6nCiY/s1600-R/QuietRiot-MetalHealth.jpg this mask is what it reminds me of!
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Wait, wait, wait. You have a PXL 2000? Use it! For God's sake, use it! Preferably to make some bleak, sexually graphic European arthouse movie.
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I wonder if the Smurfs movie would be better if the word "smurf" was replaced with "shit" lol but great reviews as always.
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I'm pretty sure the guy getting the lobotomy was Bennett the Sage...
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My thoughts exactly
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Wow that movie sounded terrible but the gore effects were actually for what movie it was in were pretty damn good! They looked like the stuff you'd see in a Hellraiser movie or one of those live action anime you see from Japan like Tokyo Gore Police, Samurai Princess, Samurai Resurrection, ect. I'd actually like to see you review something like that someday, but none of them outside Samurai Resurrection were made before 95!
I'm surprised you didn't do an Undertaker(the wrestler) Joke because the Butcher guy looked like him or that guy from that Power Rangers series... can't recall th name of it but Linkara reviewed it months ago, but it's the one with Mutants from the future as the villains!
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Actually, he's more like Kane (the wrestler) because he's scarred, starts with a mask and unmasks.
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Yeah, it's a shame about the cutoff date, because Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl DESPERATELY needs to be snobbed to within an inch of its unlife.
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All I could think of when they were swinging those hook-chains around was "Pinhead would not be amused!"
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yeah I thought when I saw that was, "Yeah I saw Hellraiser too and it was a much better movie."
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Believe it or not, but the dub sticks EXACTLY to the german dialogues in the most parts. Schnaas is really that bad
btw, if you need more german movies to review:
I would recommend the early movies of Christoph Schlingensief. It would be very interesting to watch the snob reviewing a Schlingensief movie. they are quite intellectual but still extremely trashy
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Well worth the wait, Brad! I think you hit the nail on the head at the end there, in that these movies are just about gore effects, and if that's what you're looking for, that's what you're going to get. But really, if you're just looking for gore effects, you're better off just watching the Quebecois short film "Bagman", which is at least funny.
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http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbdwty_bagman-profession-meurtrier_shortfilms
you mean this little masterpiece right
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I like that the two cute asian guys both had really long hair & didn't die.
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This reminds me of how much i miss pierre kirby and ninja-movies. These slasher/horror-movies tend to become predictable.
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ONLY LOVE...PADS THE FILM!!!
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So the main villain is played by... Mr. Lordi?
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What's the name of the song used during the ninja fight?
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AlphaVille - Jet Set.
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and by the way: the "Meister" is the old guy
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For a franchise that suddenly injected some plot, they still pulled off some confusing...shit. Never mind the larpers, why on earth abandon the main characters??
Anyway...Brad, I've just ordered Paranoia. I'm a final year digital media student and eagerly looking forward to the making of, as much as the film.
I've enjoyed your productions for a year now, and will do what I can to support your entertaining work. Bring on some more 80's Dan! >.<
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Ha ha wonderful! Really looking forward to a VS4 review now.
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You have a PXL 2000? You cannot comprehend how jealous I am right now.
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After a quick look at the film's Wikipedia page, apparently the filming was finished in 1993, but unforeseen complications pushed back it's official release until 1999.
Nice to know that you've lessened your cutoffs to include sequels & remakes, anyway.
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this movie was shot in 93, but released six years later due to financial problems, which means you could have reviewed it anyway
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Oh but it was so worth it Snob!
Great work Brad, really enjoyed this one. The fight between the Asian dudes and the ninjas looked pretty entertaining. Dare I seek this one out?
"Fuck dr Moreau!" LOL
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I bet you can do VS4 in a crossover review with either Phelous or Spoony.
Would've been nice to include Kung Tai Ted for the ninja scenes. I miss him!
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"After we had been exiled from da camp..."
Good grief that dubbing voice was funny.
Excellent review.
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Oh snap, since now he is including remakes, does that mean he has to the mothers day remake?
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.....there's a Violent Shit 3?
Also I'm pretty sure that message at the begining came from Douchy McNitpick.
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Worst comment ever. I'll have you know that Douchy McNitpick is portrayed by Doug "Nostalgia Critic" Walker, whereas that voice was CLEARLY provided by Jerrid Foiles.
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I hope Brad reviews the Ice Cream Man movies. One of them, Mr. Ice Cream Man, was made in the early 90s but not released until the early 00s (just like Ax'Em).
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This is one of my favourite Snob episodes ever. I almost came when 'jet set society' kicked in during the Ninja battle lol
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They decided to put crappy dubbing and ninjas into the Violent Shit series? Let's face it Violent Shit is ruined!!
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So does this mean you'll be doing Karl the Butcher vs Axe? bwaha.
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"Meister" is just German for "master" or "champion".
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Yeah because of that I was expecting a "Year Without a Santa Claus" reference!
I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much!
Friends call me Snow Meister,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
...too much.
Or, "Santa Claus id coming to Town" if you now what I mean!?
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Burger-Meister-Meister-Burger-Santa-Claus-Is-Comin-to-Town/248069368601
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Ahahaha! It went from Violent shit to some random cross between Ator, Riki-Oh, and Master of the Flying Guillotine. What the hell? Hilarious movie, great review. Man...
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That last part needed a 1980's montage ending song so badly.
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Strangly enough,I'd actually consider buying this one...(Looks slightly better than "Las Vegas Bloodbath" anyway...Shot on Shitteo and all.)
I had the feeling that when the dubbing started to sound like a Shaw Bros.Film that there would be Ninjas soon to follow.
Great Review,Snob.
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This technically isn't past your cutoff date. It was filmed between 1992 and 1995, shelved until 1999 and not released as ZOMBIE DOOM until 2003.
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I'm so glad my donation of my PXL 200 camcorder got it's cameo on The Snob!
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Is it just me, or does the guy getting his brain sliced open by hitler, look like Bennett the Sage? lol
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I thought the ninjas were funny when I saw them appear, but based on their terrible choreography, I was sorely disappointed. I do agree that the zombie make up was pretty good.
Bring me those Amazons.
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Yay! A movie that's not a porn! Please Brad don't do anymore porn reviews for a long time.
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Now I can't get Alphaville's "Jet Set" out of my head.
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At the beginning, I thought that you had added the dubbing as a merger between adding fake subtitles and having bad dubbing. I had to pause the video from laughing so hard at the "fake dubbing".
Then when I unpaused the video, I realized that you hadn't added the dubbing, and this was how it originally was.
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So does this mean you'll review Black Devil Doll, the remake of Black Devil Doll from Hell? I will send you my personal copy of it if I have to to see you review it.
Seriously.
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He's already talked about it....the movie AND the book. Check over his older review list; it's there.
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What's the name of the movie with the killing of children? The one where a boy gets his neck pierced by a pitchfork.
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Is it me, or do the dub actors sound like Trey Parker/Matt Stone?
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Brad should check out this really cool movie; Sledgehammer (1983)
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Nice review and I'm lookin' forward to the next two "Schnaas"-entrys, now that the "after 95 rule" is established. "Nikos" from 2003 is kind of a "re-imagening" of the whole thing, although it sometimes get's titled "Violent Shit 4" and "Karl The Butcher vs. Axe" is then the "real" part 4th in the same sense, that makes "Freddy vs. Jason" become "Nightmare on Elm Street 8".
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Aw... you left out that weird Alien/Demon whatever baby thing that shows up for half a second, and is never really explained.
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Hehe, interesting to see you do a post-1995 flick. This one's probably my favorite out of my Violent Shit Trilogy box... but my version had subtitles, not this "dubbing". That was pretty atrocious, and not in the same class as the Zombie 90 dubbing. This was a funny review, loved the Alphaville Godfrey Ho:ing of the ninja sequence. I've been hoping to see a snobing of this ever since you did Violent Shit 2.
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Seeing a new Brad Jones video always brightens up my day. Keep up the great work Brad!
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I can't get enough of the Violent Shit reviews! Brad, you are always aces when reviewing these flicks! Can't wait to see you review more sequel, remakes, etc that were made after 1995! Just imagine if there's a seques to Axe Em! That would be some funny shit!
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Please please please
please please please!
Upload the Alphaville themed ninja fight to youtube
Fucking awesome!
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Hey Brad, I found this very interesting blog with many obscure movies you can download and review.
nanar-paradise_blogspot_com
Alternatively, you can visit this forum where you can get many "horrible" movies to enjoy and review.
www.la-garconniere.com/lofiversion/index.php?t1830-0.html
Keep up the good work!!!
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OK, I gotta ask, anyone else here that was familiar with the VS flicks BEFORE Brad reviewed them? I was.... and Im hpyyy they're a bit more popular now, but please people, stop acting like you know these movies just because of a fucking video...
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...and here comes the real cinema snobs....
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Why does Carl the Mister look so much like John Travolta from Battlefield Earth?
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im not sure if this has been commented on but the german word for butcher is Metzger.
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Godfrey Ho and Alphaville did actually make that scene significantly more watchable, perversely enough.
Also, what's up with the flashy, seizure-inducing credits?
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. . .
Am I the only one in the audience was watching the two Asian ninja dudes running happily towards each other and my only thought was "now KISS! Kiss each other dammit!"
They didn't even hug
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Im really bored, so Im going to explain who the main villians are. The "Meister" is Karl Jr. from the second movie, and the silent guy on the throne is the original carl who birthed Karl Jr. and somehow is alive.. no clue why, but they went to an island. But still, theres no concievable plot, and I had to come up with that theory myself.
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Snob: 24
Movie: 8
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