DVD-R Hell: "How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?"
It's 80's sex advice for teens, starring Jason and Justine Bateman, and Ted Danson.
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Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
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The Cinema Snob: DVD-R Hell: "How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?"
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First!!!! sorry couldnt help it
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Last time I saw that doctor dude was in Strong Kids Safe Kids teaching me how to not get molested and what to call a vagina
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So, what are we supposed to call a vagina in the 80s?
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"it" or "down there."
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Well sometimes you call it vagina and other times you call it virginia. Although looking at this it seems like this film is a sequel to Strong Kids Safe Kids. (P.S. Henry Winkler and the Smurfs are in Strong Kids Safe Kids)
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This was insanely funny, more Brad, more!
"I was 10 and he was 17". So so wrong...
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This is the song that teaches it. The doctor is only in part of it though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DzS_hCg6bQ
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What did I learn from "How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love"? That every possible mate is a creeper, and an old fart is stealing my condoms.
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Oh man, this was hilarious. So, if I was a teenager in the 1980s instead of a boy this is what I would have watched during some down time in high school?
That professor kind of looks like Joseph Campbell, which makes him extra funny.
Why was Ted Danson in this? I know. From 1981-1985, Ted Danson accrued a large number of parking tickets in the city of Los Angeles. He was finally arrested in 1986 and sentenced to pay all of his fine and perform community service. This video was fulled the latter requirement.
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Hahaha! A bunch of us did watch this back in high school during the end of the school year when there was a free period. Once we realized what the video was about we riffed the entire thing. We all thought the scene that is shown at 13:06 in Brad's video was awkward, too. Whenever Jason and Justine Bateman looked at each other we thought they were about two seconds away from making out with each other.
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Brad this was fucking funny as hell.
& having Jerrid & Jillian in it as well was funny as well. there was one i watched as a kid & i can't remember the name of it. but it wasn't this one. my only questions are, why in the hell did you even buy this ? & if it's true that
Ted Danson had to do this to pay his fines. than why in the hell were the batmens doing this?
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Feh, The Darkness had an easier way of telling if you were in love than this collection of 80s PSAs.
Hilarious video Brad.
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The doctor looks like the much older version of Toshio Maeda.
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Jillian stole this video with a single swear word. Awesome.
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Oh, and Brad, how could you not make a reference to "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. I think I'll need to suspend your 1980s Cool Card while the board of directors reviews your actions.
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i think meatloaf somes up love with a single song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmPMMitJDYg
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I love you Cinema Snob!
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Well... That was creepy... I think you reviewed films less creepy then that video.. But at least it answered if I should have sex or not... and I am going with what ever answer lets me not watch that video OO its the perfect threat. Forget pulling nails make em watch this film they will talk!
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Ok, 1st off is it just me or does the one Brad referred to as "The Slut" look like a tranny!?
Also, is it just me or did one of those teens from the opening look like the guy from American Pie? The one that fucked the pie!?
I was thinking the same thing about "Sweater Guy" looking and sounding like a rapist when he 1st popped up on screen!
I actually thought the creepiness of Dr. Not-Lewis Black was actually funny not his attempt at stand up but the creepy Herbert from Family Guy pedo-feel!
That girl reminded me more of Kathey Baites from "Mersery" that the chick from "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"! Or the chick from that "The Loved One" that Wheshy reviewed awhile back.
Ted Danceson needed the money to fuel his Coke addiction!
Wow, it's amazing almost every one in this video were average to above average looking... where the hell are all the outcast and nerds and punk groups in this thing? That one dude I guess was suppose to be like a street tough or whatever but that doesn't cover that demographic!
Also, Brad you got some sort of magic ability to remember and recite long sequences of initials on cue! How the hell do you do that!?
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"Tranny" is a really fucking rude thing to call someone.
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Let the butthurts roll in.
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Oh god, the 80s fashion is probably the worst thing in this video.
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That was an awesome video. Fuck that doctor was creepy. Laughed the whole way through. Thanks Brad.
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*looks at my sandwich* Umm...do I need a condom for my Reuben?
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oh my, this shit is getting me hot as hell
but needs justine bateman's boobs ...
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Loved the video Brad, although I do take issue with you saying Sarah McLachlan's music is boring. But if you are going to insult her at least pronounce her name right, is McLocklan, not McLaughlin like the old fogey who debates with people.
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Not one Harry Caray joke with that doctor? Brad, you wasted a review.
You fucker.
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Hey, don't call Brad a fucker, you fucker. He's had a rough day as it is. A rhino gobbled up his parents.
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Dear John,
This is what happens when you chug 5 Keystones in under an hour. You start arguing with yourself. Now stop it before you dig yourself any deeper.
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Love this DVD-R Hell stuff! Hope to see much more of it!
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I really like these DVD-R-Hell reviews, because they gives this website a larger VARIETY than the snob videos (which are 95 % slasher movies [dont get me wrong, i like slasher movies, i just love sci fi exploitation and blacksploitation just as much]).
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I'm 24 and proudly celebate... I can only get turned on by cartoon porn but oddly feel squeamish toward real naked women... Yes, I'm a loser, but I hate kids too so at least I won't procreate
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Can't wait to see the remake of this video starring Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
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I will have Brad's face as he says "I love your scalp." stuck in my head all night.
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Ted Danson 8D and Jason Bateman
Seriously Brad, I don't need to tell if I'm really in love because I love this series, keep it up.
The best part was the eating a sandwich pregnant part XD
Though you diss on the future and not 80's sucking hurt since i was born from 1990 on.
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This was hilarious
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Despite some handfuls of creep and cheese, that film actually looked like a somewhat decent sex-ed movie to me. No demonization of pre-marital sex or the use of contraceptives at least.
Of course I am probably prejudiced because usually only the horrible faith-bashed ones seem to get much noticed in my Eurosocialist homeland.
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I always hated these films, mostly because nobody would have sex with me when I was a teenager. Or for most of my 20s.
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I actually had to STOP the video when Brad said,
"chintzy power point title card"
I am afraid if I keep watching this, my head might essplode like in "Scanners".
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wow an Albert Fish reference....
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Brad this is totally off topic but you really need to go watch Drive with Ryan Gosling this weekend.hands down its one the best movies of the year.i know your a big fan of the 80's so i think it's right up your alley.It's like a cannon revenge film from the 80"s directed by David lynch!!
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"It's 80's sex advice for teens, starring Jason and Justine Bateman, and Ted Danson."
Sounds more like DVD-R Heaven to me.
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and if you loved me you would want to @#^$ my @#%$ with your @#%$.
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I think actually saw this program in one of my health classes. It's cheesy, but has some good advice for teens (would work in any decade). I even owned a book by Sol Gordon (who looks like a NYC version of Orville Redenbacher).
Now, Snob, you have to do a DVD of any faith-based 'abstinence only' program. Better yet, find ways to work in any Christine O'Donnell *MTV's Sex in the '90s* clips. That would be pure comedy gold!
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I'm never really sure what the real point is.. to try to get kids to wait until marriage to have sex, or find the right partner?
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Why was Jillian so mad? Twilight Break Dawn Part 1 hasn't come out yet so surely Brad ripping it couldn't be the reason....
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Sweater rapist. hahaha!!!
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I have to know, did you really have sex with your hot wife after this or did you lie to us Brad?
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Was that Andy Samberg at 4:08?
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The Dr. sounds exactly like John Malkovitch.
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I get the Batemans and Wham because it was the 80s but really, what was Ted Danson doing here?
Plus I'm confused, who was Jillian saying fuck you to?
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DVR-Hell; by far your best show, Brad. I hope to see more of these
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Your wife is scarily good at acting pissy...
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What the hell was Ted Danson doing in this? sure I could see him doing this in the late 90's but not when he was on Cheers. I still think the Evil Rock and Roll Homophobic church video was worse, and will be really hard to find something that can top it.
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Jesus! This video was so 80s it feathered my hair!
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Wait, so this is how kids learned about sex in the 80's? Jeez, no wonder cocaine was so popular.
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Its ok Brad, I felt the same way about 3D Doritos as well...
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"
- It's absolutely alright to be a virgin.
- Aw come on, you probably have cock in you right now.
- Yes.
"
This one cracked me up so hard, that I laughed for the entire night on (it's 7 AM in here right now).
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I'm surprised no one commented on how many times Ted Danson smelled his finger and the look of extasy on his face as he took in the memories of a sexual conquest he had from minutes before the camera rolled.....Great video Brad, as always...
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one of the funniest reviews you've done.
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We sweet jesus. I actually this in Elementary School. No joke. If I remember right i fell asleep half way through it. And we watched Strong Kids Safe Kids right before it. Ya the schools I went to relied heavily on videos and films strips to teach us. LOL
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I saw this and Strong Kids Safe Kids on the same day in like 4th grade i think. My school was big on using videos and filmstrips to teach us then the teachers actually doing their job.
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So I spent my whole life from prepubescence to my mid thirties masturbating to Justine Bateman only to find out now that she did this? How could she do this to me after all these years?
What will I do, baby, without us? Sha la la la.
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I watched this video in middle school!! In 8th grade we had a long sex ed course and watched a lot of these types of videos. We even watched the one with arsenio hall and magic johnson. I hope that one is coming up sometime. Anyway I was already at the time involved in sexual things but I wasn't having sex exactly. I took this video to heart at the time and it means well. Thank you so much this is such a blast from the past for me!
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Four words:
2600 E.T. Shirt. Awesome.
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Great video man! I am glad you are getting some use out of that box of horrible horrible dvds.
James Gilks
-VHSWASTELAND.com and a bunch of other crap
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I have a feeling that my brothers had watch this when they were in high school. 10 to 1 they had to.
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Brad, I was just listening to your Radiodrome posts & I totally think you should make a low budget B-movie comedy horror sci-fi of "Close Encounters of the 3ed Reich." It sounds so...Planet 9: Troma Edition.
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Considering the subject and it starring Jason and Justine Bateman, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to post this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPevRl0QC-I#t=4m29s
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Brad, please be talking about the British Men Behaving Badly and not the American one, please!
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I MISS 3D DORITOS! D=
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I was shown this very film in middle school health class...
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At least this video didn't say your penis would fall off from premarital sex. That's what most of the ones I saw had.
Scalp line had me cracking up.
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ok, sorry.
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Great post. Love the Graduate reference.
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Man, that special was kinda creepy....
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D'aww... Brad being all domestic and taking it up the butt from his wife. It's so cute!
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Re: Ted Danson
Either he was making amends for Sam Malone, or he agreed to appear in this because he had some "community service" time he had to finish off. So yeah, all times he was driving 60 in a school zone finally paid off...for us, not him.
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Hey, does anyone know what the song during the end credits is? I don't know anything about music so I have no idea. =(
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Jason Bateman looks so much like Topher Grace as Eric Foreman that I can almost hear Red now: "My foot made a movie. It's called 'How Can I Tell If I'm Really Up Your Ass?' "
Having watched "The Hooker with a Heart of Gold", I can state with disturbing certainty that the idea of Brad & Jillian getting it on turns me on. ...How should I feel about this?
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Now I understand why things like Columbine happen.
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I was totally shown this in school.
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Definitely recommend you check out Deception of a Generation, it was a made for video 1980's Christian propaganda talk show about how He-man, Transformers, and various other '80s beloved toy lines and their powers that are drawing children into satan and the Occult. I have a burnt copy but my dvd drive is messed up. Should be easy to find online tho
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This is crazy I actually remember watching this thing either in six Or my two years of seventh grade.. But In all seriousness I remember watching this in school. And I remembered it well. Guess that's what you get when you live in Parkersburg West Virginia.
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Honestly this has to be one your funniest reviews ever. I really wish there would be more DVD-R Hells but i know you have a lot going on. I also know you have to find just the right movie to put in this series. i am shocked though you didn't make a joke about the one chick's name being B.J.. I have watched this review a few times and I didn't notice it till now so I can see how jokes do get missed.
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That doctor looked like Lewis Black's creepy uncle.
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this video made me feel alone
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Wow, two times already this review AND the movie reminded me of Critic's reviews of "Garbage Pail Kids" and "Battlefiel Earth" respectively.
Spoony, as Turl: "I'm RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILY IN LUV!"
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lol guys...
ted danson was in cheers playing a womanizer.
that is why he was in this little thing.to show that..true love isnt sex!
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When a guy tells you that sex is number of important things in a marriage, you know he is no spanish fly..
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I saw this video in my Health class.
The Health class I took in 2009.
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So, somehow, back in the 80s, we knew that "reality"-based programming would dominate the airwaves in the future? I dont think so, we had no way of knowing that "The Real World" (from the early 90s!) would start a chain reaction of that magnitude! And yeah, I totally get the St. Elsewhere joke, I never saw the show, but apparently somebody did the math once, and about 90% of the TV Universe existed in Tommy Westphall's mind. I read that somewhere. Whoda thunk it? And yeah, we get it, OK? You hate reality shows. Enough already! Just sayin.
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