"Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" Review
It's midnight, and our resident "Twilight" fangirl gives her thoughts on "Breaking Dawn." Sure hope no shenanigans happen.
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Paranoia
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Tenebrous Kate
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Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
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The Cinema Snob: "Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1" Review
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Jillian is such a good sport, the glitter would have set off a lesser person.
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Where's the beef/turkey?
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Me. I'm allergic to glitter, seriously.
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Probably the best review on the site. So fucking funny.
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I'm reviewing it this weekend. God help me, I'm going into the ultimate lion's den of awful fans.
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Wow...I think the stuff the guys did to you must have still been more enjoyable than the movie.
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That was freaking awesome! Finally, something made Twilight entertaining!
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I hated that movie and was depressed about the movie the entire day but this vid made my day, it was hilarious
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Mmm Jillian covered with milk, cookies, pie, and glitter. Me likey.
Also, liked the ending.
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She is definitely a keeper for putting up with this one. Or that was snuff review and no more Brad. I would understand if that's the case.
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3 things come to mind here:
1. Jillian must be a REALLY good sport to have gone through that.
2. You're gonna have a tough time topping that one for the last film.
3. How long did it take to clean the car seat?
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I have no idea how you guys were able to do this without busting up laughing. Unless you inserted cuts when the lights went out. Either way this was fuckin' hilarious! XD
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Shit, Mrs. Jones is packing!!!!
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Yeah! And she has a gun too!
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Poor Jillian! And I thought my guy friends were giving me crap for being the token Twihard who liked Breaking Dawn.
If there is going to be a review for Part 2, Brad and Jillian are going to have a hell of a time trying to top this video.
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She still seemed in a better mood than Jake.
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LOL! That was capital, simply capital! OMG! You are such a caution Brad.
(A cookie to anyone who sees what I did there.)
So, who's car got messed up there? Did you guys at least cover the floor with plastic?
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Congrats on being a pro Jillian though the Wam/Wetlook lover in me would've loved to lick the milk off your face. Geez, I've seen way too many wetlook videos.
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Jillian was awesome in this. You owe her big time. This was far more enjoyable than the Twilight series could ever hope to be.
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This was great poor Snob getting killed and all though.
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I echo the above sentiments: Mrs. Snob is an amazingly good sport, she has a fantastic poker face, and you're fucking nuts for doing that to your car.
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Sweet jesus christ. I was expecting some crazy stuff here but this went above and beyond my expectations. Bravo Mr Jones, Bravo
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Best ending EVER!
"OVERKILL!"
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This made me laugh hysterically. The glitter part was the best!
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Brad, You have the coolest wife in the world. Props to Jillian guys!
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I haven't seen any of the Twilight movies, but based on your reviews this has to be the best one. The best review, at least.
My thoughts on the ending... well, that's what you get for keeping a loaded gun that close to the porch steps.
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The moral of the story: Don't leave your Paranoia props lying around.
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Oo Dear sweet Lord I can't believe she agreed to that. I mean think of what the inside of your car looks like now! It'll take eons to clean! XD
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Behold, the SANEST Twilight fan ever!
Think I'm kidding? Lab acid and flareguns in the hands of Twitards beg to differ. XD
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Jillian was such a good sport. How cold was it that night?
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Sometimes i wonder if shes just the best wife in the world or your the worst husband in the world
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Why can't it be both?
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New Porn Genere??
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Nope, Rule 34 (sploshing).
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Brad, your wife must love you lots to go through all that.
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That was probably one of the funniest videos you guys have ever done. I seriously hope the ending doesn't mean there won't be a Breaking Dawn part 2 review!
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Awesome video...I love they way she growls "Dammit".
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The ending is the fleeting dream every wife has now and then.
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Thank you for that hilarious ending! It made me laugh so hard! Now I cant wait to see whats in store for part 2.
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Best. Review. Ever. And Jillian is awsome as always. Brad, I think you have the worlds most perfect wife
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Whoever said "Cookies!!!" reminded me of Dan Forden--the guy who'd pop on screen in the Mortal Kombat games and yell "toasty." Hilarious.
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Dude, you turned into a butch version of Harvey Fierstein.
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You know, when videos end up in the wrong post on the front page it just goofs me up something fierce.
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Only a true Nic Cage fan would do the "I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire" thing from that legendary film.
Bravo, sirs.
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LMFAO! That was great!
1st off who's car's backseat was that ya'll just ruined!? Or did you break into the neighbor's car or rent one!?
Well, I'm glad to see what Julian would look like if you ever did a scat/bukocki video! ':I
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*Jillian
*Bukakke
Stuff like this is called 'Sploshing'.
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Sorry the spell correct didn't have "Bukakke" in it! As for the misspelled name it was what the spell check said!
Yeah I was just going on the visual of her covered in something Brown(applesauce and cookie crumbs) and something white(milk and cream)!
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Jillian puts up with a lot of bullshit in the name of comedy.
Was there even a plan for the glitter? Cuz that could have gotten in her eyes.
The only thing I have to say about the movie is that, it sounds worse than I could have ever imagined.
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Funniest part was ..MIlk ?....Cookies !! Holy shit I havent laughed that hard in a long time
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Aww!
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This was funny, but you know how you could have made it better, have Jake next to Jillain the whole time with him arms crossed and cursing the movie (and Jarrid) out. You could have used blue paint to smurf him.
PS: "KEWKIES!!!"
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So it was pretty good then.
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It was funny. One of my nieces is a big fan of Twilight and for the last umpteen family get togethers she always corners me and asks for my thoughts on these films. I haven't got the heart to say I think they're bobbins. She not like Jillan in this, she takes the saga very, very, seriously.
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Aw, now that's no place to leave a loaded handgun. For shame!
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wtf! poor Jillian XD
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As much fun as this was to watch, all I could think was: "Aren't you cold? It must be in the 30's outside."
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Maximum Trolling Achieved.
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Cumshot surprise? Really?
Lol, imagine if something like this actually happened when someone is doing a vlog. Especially the pies
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Jesus Christ, you guys are so insane. It gives me ideas on how to deal with some girls in my family, so...
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umm... you have a cookie on your tit... as well as pies milk glitter etc. but that cookie continued to grab my attention throughout the entire vid, so yeah thats my excuse for looking at your boobs... although i cant help but look at her boobs in any other vid, however this one time I am not a total perv... just a partial one.
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Why did Jake quote requiem for a dream?
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Wow Jillian is a fucking trooper to go through all that.
then to go through what happened in the car. XD
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Holy damn, now they HAVE to invite Jillian for the fourth TGWTG anniversary. They need troopers like this.
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OK, that "like" vote clerly goes to Jillian. Being maried to Brad surley ain't easy.....
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Now I know what to picture doing to my students when they start talking about it. This was hilarious. As for the car... there will be glitter in there forever.
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did he end up sleeping at jerrids place or not?
Bad ending imo
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He was shot and killed...I doubt it. Not that confusing of an ending =)
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She wouldn't kill him. If he died, he would't learn his lesson.
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Can't tell if joking or incredibly stupid.
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Music at the end?
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Rick Astley - Together Forever.
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Wait, this is only part 1 of the movie? What are you going to do when she reviews part 2, stake her through the heart?!
Wait. Twilight vampires don't get staked. Nevermind. Still, how do you top this? It was amazing.
Finally, I wonder if Brad will be resurrected as a vampire.
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I wonder, Did Jillian know the extent of this bit? If so she's becoming a great actress, I could really see frustration that didn't seem 100% setup. Funny bit btw, although I felt a bit bad at first until it just went over the top.
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I knew what was coming, & in what order, but I didn't know exactly when. I was afraid if I knew when I would flinch in anticipation if i was saying cue words
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apologies if this posts twice, didn't seem to take. Anywho -- i knew what was coming, & in what order, but i didn't know exactly WHEN it was coming - other than pertaining to when i talked about certain parts. i was afraid that if i used cue words i would flinch in anticipation
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You were brilliant, Jillian.
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FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!
Jillian, you have GOT to do more movie reviews. I was laughing my ass off. I loved all the film references. I also loved it when you went "GANGSTA" and busted a cap in Brad's ass. You looked HOT, even covered with delicious snack treats.
Great sense of humor. Oh, and what a set of knockers!
Bronski, Jillian... BRRRRRRONSKI!!!
Please don't hate me for writing that Brad.
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When Brian said the line "Applesauce beeaatch" I cracked the hell up in laughter. Great "review"
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Lost it at the milk... cookies!!! bit and didn't see the "ass to ass!!!!" coming, Brad, easily one of your best videos.
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Aside from the Smurfs review, BEST VIDEO EVER!!!!!!
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That ending though, we won't see Jillian's reaction to Breaking Dawn Part 2?
Jillian is a soldier for going though that.
But I want to see the real review of
this movie, was it worse than The Smurfs, Spy Kids 4 and Transformers 3 combined?
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I was wondering if Jillian was going to chase you w/an Axe sometime during this review.
But when she pulled out the gun I was thinking two things.
1.Oh Shit!!!
2. Did anyone think of the Gunshot that opens up Six Feet Under's song "Human Target"?
Great review,Jillian.
And Brad...Next time,Duck cause Fake Bullets aint'Got no Names!!!
"Impressive,Most Impressive"-Darth Vader
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Awesome video,Jillian really has good patience..well after she was hosed down she finnaly snapped
I`m Guessing she wont comment Breaking Dawn Prt 2?
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Great video, haven't seen you make much of these types.
I also loved the "wise guy" before you put the pie on her face.
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The Twilight books/movies keep raping vampires evrey chance they get. First vampires are out in the sun sparkling and now there having babies? How can something thats dead have a baby? Thats the same thing as a zombie having a baby.Its just not possible.The way vampires reproduce is the same way zombies do.By biting a human and turning them into a vampire.
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Dhampirs have a very long established history in vampire lore. (Predating Dracula, even.)
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Yep! That's correct! They were concidered to be the best at being Vampire Hunters!
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Poor Jillian...XD
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I kind of wanted you to comment on Breaking Dawn for real, but I suppose the real crazy shit like vampire c-sections and Jacob falling in love with the baby is going to wait until part two.
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Well, I'm watching Spoony's review, and apparently all that crazy stuff happens in this movie. Seems like the sort of thing worth talking about.
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I'll fight for you.. until your heart stops beating...can I have some of your popcorn?
I really wanted to see Jake do an Ranting Jake review.
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Yeah but that wouldn't really work with Twilight as yeah they are bad movies but they aren't the kind of awful movies for Jake to unleash his rage on. Those would be the incredibley retarded children movies no adult in his right mind should ever go see. Besides Jillian being messed with for the Twilight movies has been a traidtion since the start of the site and I wouldn't want to see that broken.
I do have to say this is probably my favorite review yet of this series. As yeah the voice dubbing was funnier, the idea of pranking someone while they were reviewing something is even funnier. And as others said Jillian must be a good sport to put up with being milked, pied, glittered and hosed while trying to do a review. I guess that's to be expected considering what other videos/cameos she's done for Brad but it is defintley commendiable. Heh it'd be funny if the continuity of this video was kept for the second part of Breaking Dawn where Brad became a zombie and tried bothering Jillian while doing a review and she made the zombie brad act like vampire Edward or something. Eh I don't know but I'm sure you guys will think of something great to top this review.
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One of these days Brad, you'll push her to far with this site.
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Great review. It reminds me of the music video for Numb (the U2 song), except Jillian actually reacts.
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I watched this last night and I'm not sure I would have lasted as long before snapping. That said, I'm one of those overly patient people that will wait longer than most if he thinks he has to wait at all.
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This is the first time in a few years someone's Internet video makes me laugh almost to the point of throwing up (probably on Jillian). Good work and props to her for the hilarious payoff XD
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Jesus! I can think of better ways to distract a hot Twilight fangirl than assaulting her with pies and shit... tickling comes to mind!
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i totaly agree "Shitless Jerk-up!"
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Best Review Ever
I thought for sure you'd send Jake to this tween shitfest
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woah I like to see creamed girls in glitter rambling mad about weird shit that's gotten to their eye!
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OH MY GOD I WANT TO SEE JAKE DO THE LAST ONE!!!!! I cant stop laughing about what I think his reaction would be....
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holy crap! that was fucking insane! I cracked up the entire time! And this is exactly like the twilight movies are: some chick telling a lame story while ridiculous crap goes on and I cant help but laugh! Except this time I actually gave a damn.
Massive props to Jillian! That was amazing and I don't know how the hell you got through that, I would've lost my mind or died laughing if I tried to do that!
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That was priceless. I wish that was done to many of those "Twi-Hards" as they seem to like being called, lol.
Granted, didn't see Brad getting shot in the end.....at least not by Jillian....yet.
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wow kudos jillian you are awesome for taking this abuse
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brad comes back as a zombie. only without that whole dead rotting part since its gross and would make sense. he has no craving for brains since he is a vegan zombie. getting bitten or scratched by him makes him take you clothes shopping at the mall. shirtless. he is also a musician zombie who writes love songs for jillian, and can fly whenever convenient.
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ASSSSSSSS TOOOOOOOOOO ASSSSSSSSSSSSS
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Gotta love "Together Forever at the end
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That car is really going to stink.
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If I was a good husband I would totally clean Jillian up afterwards.
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Yes, I would clean up Jillian and the car, and I think somebody needs to give Jillian a kiss to make her feel better... I VOLUNTEER!
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I think the gunshot made her feel plenty better. lol
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I know, but I should, JUST to make sure!
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Very funny video, Jillian is a trooper for sitting there and taking all of that for the video
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Holy shit! i just died laughing. Your reaction to getting hit with the pies, sustained guffaw. And when the lights went out I fell out of the fucking chair!
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that was funny Brad. Since I'm posting, I don't really know where else to put this, but in the left column of your site something weird is going on: because of the way the pictures are placed it looks like the Snob has mrs. Snob's boobs. Intentional? Either way it' freaking me out.
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He noticed and referenced it in his latest review! He does read all our comments!
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I think this is technically porn in Japan ;p
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"Oh, wise guy eh?"
Pausing there for a second, gotta stop laughing and get some air back. Okay, unpausing.
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Wow... she is a trooper.
(I hope that was an old outfit. And an old car.)
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Suddenly I have a craving for apple pie and cookies. YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME JILLIAN!
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I wish this would happen to everyone uttering even a single good word about the Twilight series. =D
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This review was hilarious. I'm amazed that she managed to not crack a smile through out all of that.
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I'm guessing after making The Human Spider,Brad's troupe is already used to getting bukkaked with every manner of pastries and condiments...
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They should keep the joke going, like have Jillian be the snob for the next review before having Brad come back again.
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OK this was the funniest Twilight related thing ever! The movie was utter garbage just like the novels but this was gold. Seriously this should be in the cinemas instead of Breaking Dawn. I'd pay to see this.
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Am I the only one who thinks that there needs to be a snob funeral short to follow this?
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Jillian rocks!
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Shirtless Brad is much sexier than shirtless Jacob!
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In this series, it's said vampires don't have blood in their veins.
Clearly Stephanie Meyer never attended a sex ed class, as everyone knows that blood pressure in the penis is required in order to get an erection.
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I was looking forward to this review. Glad it was worth it.
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Shenanigan Bukakke!
What did you have to buy her to get her to agree to do this?
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LOL!
WTF was that?!
I was laughing all the way through. And the end was brilliant.
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Anyone else spot the non-diegetic sound?
At least I hope it was. Otherwise it might end with being deaf.
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LMAO damn this was good! although i half-expected the voiceover thing again which i liked alot, but this was just as good
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Jillian is such a good sport! I'm glad she got her revenge at the end of the video! And yeah, I know I'm going to sound really sexist for this, being a woman and all, but DAMN! Dirty Jillian is HOT!!!!! Great video as always! Can't wait to see what's in store for Part 2!
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I like Jillian, but I loathe all twitards.
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*Jizzez* MIILK! *Craps* CooOokies!
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Am I the only one who thinks that Jillian's jiggling boobs, that are covered in sparkles and PIE, are awesome!?
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Tone down the stereotypical fangirl talk, I know I said that Serbsky film was kinda tame, but this was fucken creepy O.o
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Great job Jillian!
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Goodnight, sweet snob.
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SYMBOLISM!!!!!
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Jillian? You deserve about seven different awards for this review. Given the dark tone of the other reviews I've seen for this movie? This was a welcome change of pace.
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Great review! So I am wondering, I know it was fake, obviously, but is Jillian fan of twilight or not?
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What I liked the most was the "not Rick Astley" music at the end.
No one's gonna give it up
No one's gonna make you frown...
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That was Rick Astley. It's "Together Forever," not "Never Gonna Give You Up."
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What a good sport
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Say, I really enjoyed this new erotic video.
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Brad you shouldn't let them smoke in the car if you don't smoke, don't want that second-hand smoking cancer later in life.
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This was a perfect metaphor of what it is like to be a twilight fan that also loves TGWTG crew. I, like Jillian loved the novels, was a little sad of how much is cut out of the movies
(okay, I haven't seen 2 and 3 I just realized that from Spoony's rants)
and feel raped but how fanatically TGWTG crew bashes them. and I tell you what, even before I started reading the novels I felt like these movies were being lynched by these guys.
I think even brad said in his top 10 worst movies that he is starting to feel like he is picking on Eclipse.
****************************************
I as a fellow fan of the novels salute you Jillian, and gladly send you a text based hug. *HUG*
****************************************
P.S. lack of *,* and *.* is because of the headache I have right now
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Brilliant
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Jillian is a fucking trooper.
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"She sparkles! She's a vampire now!" this video is fucking priceless! Jillian is a badass
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I saw it twice already, the night it came out, and last night online in this site PremiumMoviesWorld.com/Twilight-Breaking-Dawn , I can't believe part 2 is comming out November 16, 2012, that is such a long time =(
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The way Jake says "Cookies!" cracks me up every time
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Most realistic death EVER!
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Roger Ebert thought we wouldn't want the image of Edward and Bella "besmirched by rumpy-pumpy." Coincidentally, that's the title of a romance novel I'm writing: /Besmirched by Rumpy-Pumpy/.
"Oh, hey, Jillian? I'm sorry, hunny. I forgot to hit Record."
Well, the gun was in the shot before, just sorta sitting on the banister. So we knew that was coming.
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Godammit, I can't find that clip of the wolves bitching at each other! Is there a keyword to type in on Youtube or a link someone knows of? All I find are stupid Behind the Scenes and fan made crap!
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LOOVVVEEED IT! The Ending was Epic!
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Dude, you'd better buy her a diamond.
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Wow Jillian will but bust a cap in your ass over Twilight!
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My friends dragged me to the cinema to watch this on my birthday. Thankfully, because they're my friends, they buttered me up with Mexican food beforehand and smuggled booze into the theater for the showing.
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