Elves
Such a simple title for a fucked up Christmas horror film.
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The Spoony One
Tenebrous Kate
Eccentric Cinema
ThatGuyWithTheGlasses
Cinemassacre
Revolving Video
Shaun Millington
Shriek Freak Arrow in the Head
Leslie Jones Blastoff Network
I Spit on Your Taste
Vault of Horror
Bloody Disgusting
Varied Celluloid
Patrick Rodriguez
Avante Garde Theatre
DjDaymage Halloween Mix
Cheap Arse Film Review
Forgotten Junk
Banned From the Video Store
The Experience Cinematic
Fistful of Cult
Video Hero's Hollywood Rant
The Horror Channel
Full Moon Reviews
SFHFF Review
The Cinema Snob: Elves
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Unfortunately my page hates donate buttons and the link doesn't work, but if you would like to help out The Cinema Snob, my Paypal account is under thecinemasnob@yahoo.com
Honestly just what i needed, to turn this horrible day into a good night... Christmas horror!
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I assume the Snob was visited by police which is why we don't see it. Maybe the next episode will explain it though I'm pretty sure this episode signals the Snob's break. It means we will have to wait until New Years Day for his return.
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Think I heard Brad say he's going to shoot Midnight Heat 2 this month. If the snob videos take a break it's understandable. Could be wrong, though.
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The last man on earth sat alone in a room. Upon the door, there was a knock...
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Awesome Brad, you listen to the ROyal Guardsmen! You sir have amazing tase in music!
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Great review as always! And nice Chopping Mall reference.
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I'm sure he pulled that reference out of his ass for no reason whatsoever.
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That sound like one of the most awesome B-level Schlocky movies ever made! Troll/elf/goblin, Nazis, incest, murder, occult, and Christmas!
Ok, that ct killing scene made me sad! I feel you dude! I'd be upset to at he thought of loosing my kitty! PS: Yay, Lloyd cameo!
The Cat-killing bitch deserved a worse death! I want torture porn for her!
Ok, who was at the door? I was expecting a Jerrid asking for food cameo or post credits stinger!
I still say Marry Christmas myself even though I'm an Atheist myself it's more a tradition and nostalgia thing for me not a religious thing!
Yay Chopping Mall reference! You should review it someday!
I do want to see this movie now it looks like delicious cheesy goodness!
So, you're reviewing Ernest Saves Christmas next?
I will admit from the title I guessed this to have been more of a Gremlins ripoff more than anything but it's so much more!
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You, Brad Jones, are the best. This review was fun. This movie looks like Troll 2 meets The Boys From Brazil meets Chinatown.
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Wow, I thought this movie would have been a lot better than this. I thought maybe a corny, fun movie along the lines of Ghoulies. Loved the bit where you got up for the door and just edited around it. Funny stuff.
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I remember seeing this movie by accident, was trying to find a specific horror film and ended up grabbing this and Blood Gnomes by mistake. On the positive side, this was far better than Blood Gnomes, which was less a horror film and more an awkwardly acted introduction to bondage and BDSM. Imagine a pro-bondage PSA done in the same quality as that anti-music PSA you watched.
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This movie sound like it's the most awesome cheesy B-level shlocky horror movie I've ever heard of! It's got everything! A troll/goblin/elf, Nazis, the occult, virgins, murder, incest, shopping mall, Santa Claus, Christmas, ect!
As a cat person myself that Cat-killing scene was depressing for me! I agree the cat-killing bitch deserved worse! PS: Yay, Lloyd cameo!
Ok, who was at the door? I was expecting a Jerrid interrupting wanting food cameo or stinger at the end after the credits!
The title of this movie when you mentioned it last week I was thinking it was just a shameless Gremlins ripoff, but it's surprised me here with delicious cheesy goodness!
Good Chopping Mall reference! When are you going to review that? It's an awesome movie!
Well, I'm glad that Grizzly Adam's story arc bout being a cop investigating this whole thing could be easily wrapped up by having him shot and killed by Nazis so nonchalantly!
So, are you going to review Ernest Save Christmas now? If anything cewl I'd like to see you review is the original Tales from the Crypt movie! It's opening story is Christmas themed!
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I was confused by the shot of Brad answering the door as well, but I'm THINKING it was a joke about we the audience being 'tortured with tiny cuts'. If so, that is obscure and ingenious :p
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"What is it about this girl's face that makes people want to hit it?"
I think it's the noise coming out of it.
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What's this You're comment has been submitted for moderation BS? This isn't the 1st time it's happened to me!
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So, are you going to review Ernest Save Christmas now? If anything cewl I'd like to see you review is the original Tales from the Crypt movie! It's opening story is Christmas themed!
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Awesome, review as always, man! Marry X-mas!
This movie sound like it's the most awesome cheesy B-level shlocky horror movie I've ever heard of! It's got everything! A troll/goblin/elf, Nazis, the occult, virgins, murder, incest, shopping mall, Santa Claus, Christmas, ect!
As a cat person myself that Cat-killing scene was depressing for me! I agree the cat-killing bitch deserved worse! PS: Yay, Lloyd cameo!
Ok, who was at the door? I was expecting a Jerrid interrupting wanting food cameo or stinger at the end after the credits!
The title of this movie when you mentioned it last week I was thinking it was just a shameless Gremlins ripoff, but it's surprised me here with delicious cheesy goodness!
Good Chopping Mall reference! When are you going to review that? It's an awesome movie!
Well, I'm glad that Grizzly Adam's story arc bout being a cop investigating this whole thing could be easily wrapped up by having him shot and killed by Nazis so nonchalantly!
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Loved the part where you showed Lloyd's face, I nearly fainted from his cuteness!
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I wouldn't be surprised that this movie had a alternate title that makes it the real Troll 4.
I do wonder if you were ever going to get to the other silent night deadly night movies which are all before the cut off date.
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Awwwwwwww Brad! You totally missed an opportunity to to repeat the hits on the dash while playing Lookin' Out My Back Door!!!!!!
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The Royal Guardsmen?
I'll just be over here, building a small shrine to your awesomeness.
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Well that was a jarring cut when the knocking on the door happened. I was expecting another Jerrid-asks-to-borrow-some-random-food-item joke, not a fade-out and fade-in as if it didn't happen. Kinda wondering if that'll have some significance in a later episode or if you just didn't feel like doing another take?
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"The girls however plan an all-night slumber party"
Really? Is there any other kind of slumber party?
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Yes. An all day slumber party. My friends and I used to work nights. Daytime was our time.
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Who was at the door? And why showing us this, if you`re not going to explain?
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Alert Phelous, Brad, because you've just found Troll 4.
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Every human who was participating in the making of this film, probably was cracking a pot. A HUEG ONE.
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is that LAURA PALMER'S MOM?
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Fun fact, the idea of the building of supernatural anthropomorphic beings was done by the Nazi's biggest enemies...the Jews! In their folklore, they are referred to as Golems and much like Dreidels they are sometimes made out of clay.
I'm surprised at the "quality" of this film. After seeing Phelous's review this week of Satan Claus, it looks like your mail got mixed up. Still good reviews though.
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Grizzley Addams: "I need to know how the inbreeding ChristmasNazis are connected to the Troll/Goblin/Elves!"
Wow.....
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Bit of a tangent here the Troll talk reminded me of the movie the Troll Hunter. If you haven't seen it yet I'd recommend it, I think you'd probably like it.
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17:25 TITS TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOL
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Who was at the door Brad? C'mon! You can't leave us hanging!
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"When there is no more room in hell, the elves will walk the earth?"
Oh, f__k you, movie.
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15:10-15:15
The only scene in this movie that makes total scense.
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15:10-15:15
Only scene in the whole movie that makes the most sense.
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Oh, please tell me that Dan Haggerty’s offhand comment about the ridiculousness of the library’s occult section being in 666 was an ad-lib! I never thought I’d see him in something LESS dignified than his hair-weave infomercials.
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Umm if they were trying to make a connection between Germanic mythology and elves they really got it wrong. In Norse/Germanic myth elves were a tall magical noble race.Basically what they showed in Lord of the Rings.That thing didnt even look like an elf.It was more of a Troll or Goblin.Now they could have gone and mad a movie about an evil Dark elf.But it still wouldnt be short.Short elves are only a modern thing associated with Santa.
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I was wondering when you'd get to this turd eater of a flick... friggin' movie. Pretty funny review, though I'm amazed at how little fun you poked at the actual elf effects. I guess it didn't look too bad, but it's impossible to ignore how the elf doesn't make a single sound when on-screen or how it never moves its jaw or blinks its eyes. Creature effects are what the Cinema Snob is pretty quick to attack, too: Alien 2, Troll 1 & 2, Badi, Nukie, Homoti... how did Elves dodge that bullet?
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While the mother was a despicable character, you can't really hate her — being made to birth and raise your own sister would fuck anyone up.
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Did your hat change color from red to silver after you answered the door?
Who was at the door?
Why is that dead guy still in the yard?
THE SUSPENSE IS TOO MUCH.
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I really laughed when Lloyd had that cameo in this episode. His naïve cat-face is so cute.
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Hooray, an awesome movie. Lots of cool references, too. I also enjoyed Lloyd's face. Keep up the good work, Snob.
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So if goblins were in Troll 2, and a troll was in Elves, does that mean elves will be in Goblins?
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The whole movie looks like it was entirely "Shot On Shitteo"!
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I actually own this movie. I can't believe someone else does.
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Wait a second....
THEN WHO WAS DOOR?
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The funny thing is that occult science is actually in 133.1 in the library. If I remember correctly, 666 is vehicles, or somewhere around there.
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The thing is, since the story loosely established that she has to be a virgin for the magic to work, it actually makes sense he would save her so HE can rape her later. Lame but logical within the framework of the film.
Also that shot of Lloyd was priceless. With this and last episode combined it's all most too much for my cuteness tolerance. Why you might even say it was over-Lloyding my senses. HAHA! Get it?
Yeah, I'll shut up now.
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This is your best review in a while. Nice job. I wanted to see this movie for a while and I never realized how bizarre it actually is. I lost it when they made that Chinatown reference. There's no way that was written in there with serious intent.
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Okay got an amusing story. First off let me just say Elves looks like a Holly Jolly enema of pain and liquid silly. Now on to the story. I do reviews on Epinions and I am getting ready to write one on Zombi 4 a.k.a. Flesh Eaters 3 when I come across a very detailed write up and that reads like your review. I am half way through reading it and I am about ready to ream this guy's ass so I look at his profile. whoops it's the Snob. I started laughing because I was going to send you an e-mail detailing the plagiarizing asshole. So nice to see your humble beginnings are just where I am right this moment. Carry on sir and ridicule where needed.
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If I want to see real killer elves, I will stick with "ELFEN LIED", thank you very much.
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If I want to see real elves fucking, I will stick with "ELFEN LAID", thank you very much.
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I Loved the close-up of Lloyd,and that cat killing bitch deserved something out of A "Devil's Rejects"Like Ending(Where is Bill Moseley when you really need him?)
Great Review,Snob...and maybe a reason to look for this one in a 50 movie box set.
(Gotta love the Public Domain factor)
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looks like Dan Haggerty is Back!!! And is set to take on a Psycho Paul Bunyon. Hey Brad I think we got your Arbor day episode of Cinema Snob all locked up LOL link to official site: http://www.bunyanmovie.com/
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OMFG, A Jerry Sandusky reference! NICE! lol
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Happy Birthday, Brad!
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Accidental Satanism... The most embarrassing kind.
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I think "Lord of the rings" trilogy are technically elf-movies.
But - I really want to see this flick now.
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The Royal Guardsman bit at the beginning was a nice touch. You're demented Brad. And you're awesome in your dementedness.
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"You hear that girls? Just say yes! ...Cuz apparently it's gonna happen anyway."
I don't understand your sarcastic tone here. These characters are horribly written caricatures of young women, but that was the most realistic line in all the clips you showed. I doubt many women HAVEN'T been in the position of thinking they should say, "yes," lest they find out what will happen to them if they say "no." Maybe I've been biased by some bad experiences...but I doubt it. I think a lot of women shrug that kind of thing off, though.
Not sure why that's cause for sarcasm, unless you really think that doesn't happen. I love your videos, but I stopped laughing at this point, because your/the Snob's apparent disbelief at this was really not funny.
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actually i thought it was funny, cause these girls didn't look like they had a brain in their heads. i'm sure Brad knows shit like that does happen all the time.
we've all wondered why some women sleep with certain types of guys. & we never really get any answer. i'm guessing that was one of the reasons he did that joke. either way i don't see it as much of a big deal since it's only a shitty little b picture. that i'll prolly never watch in my life.
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